Adha Love? - ADD / ADHD Message Board

needfeedback · 02-11-2005, 01:04 AM

I am and have been in love with this man who had ADHD and he is about 27..he was dishonorablt discharged from the army and ...He does not do much. I do not see him he lives far away..but want to visit him soon..I wantto know how people with this disorder deal with things like this? we have always connected, and before I knew he had it he would come over to me and talk like he was trying..and I feel like I can have spme enderness and patience...after letting him speak He said thank you for listening to me..I thought ??? wow no one has eve thanked me before..so now I know why... I will go to the deepest depths to help him and always put up with it and listenn....What do I do?

vintagegas · 02-12-2005, 09:30 AM

I've been diagnosed with ADHD for only two months, and I'm deffinatly a "newbie". But here is my understanding: You can do nothing for him. Until, he seeks help for himself. If he has been diagnoised, and chooses not to do anything about it, ie: no medications, no behavorial changes, then you are setting yourself up for failure.
Those of us with ADHD have a dissability. It effects us, and it effects everyone around us.
If he is on medication, and works hard to make the changes he needs? Then go for it. Be supportive, read books on the topic, learn all you can about it, and help him recognize little nuances when they happen, and he does not know it. If he won't get help? Run!

BLUE EYED LADY · 02-12-2005, 05:18 PM

Hi Vintage,
Please read the post I just replied to- HELP MY HUSBAND HAS ADHD.
Being in a relationhip with someone with ADHD is MUCH MORE DIFFICULT than someone that does not have it. If you meet someone that has issues - just remember they get more pronounced after marriage. Dating is supposed to be the wonderful time. Just in the short amount you said, THERE ARE MULTIPLE RED FLAGS GOING UP.
MY ADVICE IS TO RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
When I was dating my husband, my parent's were so concerned that i was making a mistake, they did not come to my wedding. The very things they were concerned about were totally on target as I unfortunately came to see. These issues have caused me tremendous emotional pain in my marriage. If I had to do it all over again, I never would have married my husband.
May God grant you the wisdom to make the right decision.