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Old 02-15-2005, 10:06 AM   #1
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11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

I'm wondering if there are any parents out there who have young children with ADHD and depression. My son, who has done well on meds and in school, has become very angry lately. He's been teased a lot about being gay, and we've always tried to be supportive. But lately it seems that he's so angry at me (his mom) about everything. He's changed into this angry, critical pre-teen. He was diagnosed with depression last week and he's started therapy with a great psychologist and we're doing everything we can. Any ideas or people with advice?

This is a new one on me so any info would help.

 
Old 02-15-2005, 10:25 AM   #2
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Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

Some meds cause anger issues. My son (13) takes 30mg of regular Adderall and has developed more of an angry tone when 'coming down' which is usually from about 4:30 to 5:30. After dinner he is fine usually. He has had his issues with bullies but his ADD is not the reason. You would not know he had ADD - probably because there's no 'H' - he is not hyperactive. He is the inattentive type so the meds really help him focus on his school work and he made honor roll this quarter! Well, for a while he was walking around really moody and I found out that he was getting picked on by a group of 4 boys - 2 of which he thought were his friends! I gave him ways to deal with it depending on the situation because he did not want me to get involved. I thought it was just name-calling and then one day he came home from school and told me that one of the boys (who sits at his lunch table!) threatened to have two 8th graders beat him up if he touched one of the other boys in that group. These boys are in 7th grade. My son told me that the 8th graders were the biggest kids in school. So I got involved. I told him, when you get threatened with physical violence, I have to get involved. He seemed so relieved! So a lot of what your son is experiencing is the effects of the bullying. If he is on meds, then that contributes too. Having the underlying conditions are no help in mood disposition either. Don't you just want to 'smack' everyone who is mean to him?! Sorry, had to vent. The assistant principal handled the situation so well in fact that my son is inviting the boy who threatened him to his birthday party and sleepover!

I'll be here if you have more specific questions. Take care
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Last edited by sawbuck44; 03-03-2005 at 12:08 PM.

 
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Old 02-16-2005, 11:41 PM   #3
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Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

Hi

My daughter has also been going through a bit of depression. I'm not sure if it is school or the medication. I took her off of Adderral because I thought it was that making her feel this way, but she is still down. She does have problems in school with teasing sometimes. She pretty much hates school right now. She is 15 years old, so I'm not sure what is going on with her. It could be so many things that I am stumped. Her grandmother also passed away about 6 months ago and she was close to her. See what I mean? I guess it could be a combination of things going on.

I'm not sure what to tell you to do, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in this. I am thinking about bringing her to a "life couch" as they call it. I just need to find one in my area. Maybe you can consider doing the same thing? I hope something works for all of us.

Chantel

 
Old 02-17-2005, 05:36 AM   #4
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Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

My doctor almost insisted that my son since being treated for ADD be seen by a counselor. He has had three appointments and she has helped him deal with issues and situations by offering unbiased opinions and actions he can take to make the situations better.

Just recently he was being bullied at school and didn't want me to get involved. I was lucky enough to have him tell me what was going on. Usually we talk like this just before he goes to sleep. If I'm quiet long enough (hard to do lol), he will just start talking about his day. I never nag or judge him on what's he's saying. I had to get involved with the school when a kid threatened to have two older kids beat up my son. I was able to approach it in a way that it didn't look like he 'ran to mommy' and the principal also was great in getting the kids past this. The crazy part is my son thought this boy and he were friends. They are both drummers in the band, have drumsets and take private lessons, eat at the same lunch table. Weird! But it has been a long time since I've gone to school. There was an article in our paper about bullying and it has changed and gotten more aggressive and hurtful - mentally as well as physically. Anyway, now my son has invited this 'bully' to his birthday party and to a sleepover.

Here's the difference on me and my husband's approach to this bully issue: I gave my son different ways he could deal with it since he didn't want me to do anything - at the time it was just name-calling. Once he got threatened though, I told him I had to contact the principal. He seemed so relieved and actually seemed much happier that day than he had been in a week. When I told my husband - the first thing out of his mouth was ' what did he do to instigate this?'

So, after all that, I would say to both of you to bring your children to a counselor. Treating ADD/ADHD, especially if depression is involved, is more than just medicine.
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If you open the door even a little bit - the devil will fling it open. Keep it closed with prayer.

 
Old 02-18-2005, 07:29 AM   #5
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Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

Thanks for all of the advice. The school is definately involved with the bullying issue, which helps a lot. And he is seeing a Counselor for the depression. I think I may start to take a look at WHEN he is exhibiting more anger. It might possibly be when he is coming down from the concerta. He really likes his therapist, and they've started working through a lot of issues. It's nice to know I'm not the only parent who has these difficulties.
Thanks

 
Old 02-18-2005, 10:06 AM   #6
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Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

My ten year old son was on Strattera for almost two years and was doing very well up until the last six months. He too seemed so depressed, was angry and had these emotional outbursts. I felt it was the medication but his doctor said Strattera did not cause that, he felt he was depressed and wanted to put him on an anti depressant along with the Strattera. I couldn't do it. We took him off the Strattera and within ONE DAY his mood was better. I couldn't believe it, his smile was back and within a few days I heard him "belly laugh" just a beautiful wonderful laugh! He has been med free since Christmas time and is doing wonderful. His impulsiveness is definately back but he seems to be holding his own with schoolwork, his teacher says she thinks he is actually doing better, that he seems happier. Home life and friends are still a bit of a struggle but he seems to be doing so much better. We are back to getting "behavior sheets" from school, but only two since Christmas. It was the most difficult decision to make to put him on the medication and maybe just as difficult was the decision to take him off, but we are all so much happier. We are trying to learn to accept his impulsiveness and forgetfulness and deal with him without the anger (our anger not his....not always an easy task . I believe medication works for adhd and some kids need it to function well but I'm not sure when they start having side effects if it is still the most beneficial solution. The whole idea of medicating more to take away the side effects of one medication is a scary scary thing. This board saved my sanity many times it's great that we parents have some place to come and get "real" info about other people in our same situations. Good luck to you I hope this info helps.

Last edited by suzy_Q; 02-18-2005 at 10:37 AM.

 
Old 02-20-2005, 06:21 AM   #7
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Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

Perhaps it's normal for teens and preteens to be angry when there body's are changing so much. There is an old quote about this being normal. Our 13 y/o hates me : ( They do need extra sleep and will stay up abnormaly late which can add to the anger when over tired. If anyone has an answer to this...please let us know...does everyone remember being that age? I hated my parents too at that age...and was truly embarrassed to be seen w/ them. This does not make it any easier to be living in the same house w/ an angry preteen or teenager. We just remind ours that we love him anyways. Any professional pediatricians w/ feedback on this would be greatly appreciated.

 
Old 02-20-2005, 11:25 AM   #8
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Jennita HB User
Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

Quote:
Originally Posted by tgrose
I'm wondering if there are any parents out there who have young children with ADHD and depression. My son, who has done well on meds and in school, has become very angry lately. He's been teased a lot about being gay, and we've always tried to be supportive. But lately it seems that he's so angry at me (his mom) about everything. He's changed into this angry, critical pre-teen. He was diagnosed with depression last week and he's started therapy with a great psychologist and we're doing everything we can. Any ideas or people with advice?

This is a new one on me so any info would help.
There has been a link recently established in studies between use of amphetamine medications and the eventual development of depression.

Also, kids sure can be cruel. Some people don't teach their kids respect and manners at all, what a shame. Thankfully, they won't be around him his whole life so they really are insignificant people as far as he should be concerned, other than making sure no physical violence takes place while he's still in school...

Last edited by Jennita; 02-20-2005 at 11:32 AM.

 
Old 02-20-2005, 11:29 AM   #9
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Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy_Q
My ten year old son was on Strattera for almost two years and was doing very well up until the last six months. He too seemed so depressed, was angry and had these emotional outbursts. I felt it was the medication but his doctor said Strattera did not cause that, he felt he was depressed and wanted to put him on an anti depressant along with the Strattera. I couldn't do it. We took him off the Strattera and within ONE DAY his mood was better. I couldn't believe it, his smile was back and within a few days I heard him "belly laugh" just a beautiful wonderful laugh! He has been med free since Christmas time and is doing wonderful. His impulsiveness is definately back but he seems to be holding his own with schoolwork, his teacher says she thinks he is actually doing better, that he seems happier. Home life and friends are still a bit of a struggle but he seems to be doing so much better. We are back to getting "behavior sheets" from school, but only two since Christmas. It was the most difficult decision to make to put him on the medication and maybe just as difficult was the decision to take him off, but we are all so much happier. We are trying to learn to accept his impulsiveness and forgetfulness and deal with him without the anger (our anger not his....not always an easy task . I believe medication works for adhd and some kids need it to function well but I'm not sure when they start having side effects if it is still the most beneficial solution. The whole idea of medicating more to take away the side effects of one medication is a scary scary thing. This board saved my sanity many times it's great that we parents have some place to come and get "real" info about other people in our same situations. Good luck to you I hope this info helps.
Emotional lability and mood changes are listed side effects and can develop over time. It's really funny that your doctor wanted to put him on an antidepressant because Strattera is alot like Wellbutrin, which is an antidepressant! Strattera and Wellbutrin both are norepinphrine reuptake inhibitors; norepinphrine is basically adrenaline.

I think you made the right choice, and look at the good results! Develpment of depression is a possiblity after long term use of amphetamines according to a new study, so these stories are not far fetched by any means...

 
Old 02-21-2005, 02:50 AM   #10
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hanelo4 HB User
Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

Sawbuck

What a great story I'm glad your son is doing so much better. Kids can be very cruel these days. I too sit down with my daughter and tell her different ways to handle the teasing. I've also had to contact her principle too. We are talking about putting her back in private school again because she didn't have any of these issues there. They don't tolerate any of this at this private school. I told her that I would do whatever it took to make her feel better. This teasing has such a tole on her self asteem. She did so much better in private school. The only reason I put her back in public school was because she missed her friends. I'm not sure what to do now.

Anyway, thanks again for the information. I will definitely look into some counseling.

Chantel

 
Old 02-21-2005, 02:57 AM   #11
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hanelo4 HB User
Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy_Q
My ten year old son was on Strattera for almost two years and was doing very well up until the last six months. He too seemed so depressed, was angry and had these emotional outbursts. I felt it was the medication but his doctor said Strattera did not cause that, he felt he was depressed and wanted to put him on an anti depressant along with the Strattera. I couldn't do it. We took him off the Strattera and within ONE DAY his mood was better. I couldn't believe it, his smile was back and within a few days I heard him "belly laugh" just a beautiful wonderful laugh! He has been med free since Christmas time and is doing wonderful. His impulsiveness is definately back but he seems to be holding his own with schoolwork, his teacher says she thinks he is actually doing better, that he seems happier. Home life and friends are still a bit of a struggle but he seems to be doing so much better. We are back to getting "behavior sheets" from school, but only two since Christmas. It was the most difficult decision to make to put him on the medication and maybe just as difficult was the decision to take him off, but we are all so much happier. We are trying to learn to accept his impulsiveness and forgetfulness and deal with him without the anger (our anger not his....not always an easy task . I believe medication works for adhd and some kids need it to function well but I'm not sure when they start having side effects if it is still the most beneficial solution. The whole idea of medicating more to take away the side effects of one medication is a scary scary thing. This board saved my sanity many times it's great that we parents have some place to come and get "real" info about other people in our same situations. Good luck to you I hope this info helps.


I totally agree with you on taking him off the meds. I am so glad you didn't agree to put him on an anti depressive too. What a mixture that would of been! Yikes! I am going to continue to try the straterra and see where my daughter and I gets. She told me today that it is helping her so much with remembering. She also had a "test" with her friends and she did not act on it, which I'm so proud of her for. They were basically caught smoking in the bathroom and she wasn't smoking, which made me very happy. She is still a little tired and slightly moody, but it is just 2 and 1/2 weeks into it so I will give it a little while longer.

I'm so glad your son is doing good

Chantel

 
Old 02-21-2005, 05:37 PM   #12
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Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chantel2003
Sawbuck

What a great story I'm glad your son is doing so much better. Kids can be very cruel these days. I too sit down with my daughter and tell her different ways to handle the teasing. I've also had to contact her principle too. We are talking about putting her back in private school again because she didn't have any of these issues there. They don't tolerate any of this at this private school. I told her that I would do whatever it took to make her feel better. This teasing has such a tole on her self asteem. She did so much better in private school. The only reason I put her back in public school was because she missed her friends. I'm not sure what to do now.

Anyway, thanks again for the information. I will definitely look into some counseling.

Chantel
If you can put her in again, (I know it's expensive), the private school sounds like a great idea. Kids diagnoised with ADD or ADHD seem to be targets for the bullies in school. Sometimes the public school system fails to address this sort of thing. What I liked about my children's high school is they had an alternative school down the street for the "unruly" or unproductive kids. The school didn't have any of the fun activities or programs the regular high school did and was more strict. Most kids did not want to go there, so there was incentive to behave themselves.

I never heard of this before, but it was a good idea I think. THey also had intervention type programs that helped students work out problems with each other. As a result, their high school was very highly rated despite the fact it was just a public school, nothing fancy.

But without such a system, I imagine most public schools don't provide much help in the area of bullies. Private school is a good way to go if you can!

Keep up the good work; from what I've seen you post, your daughter is lucky to have a mom working so hard to help her!

 
Old 02-22-2005, 05:01 AM   #13
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hanelo4 HB User
Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennita
If you can put her in again, (I know it's expensive), the private school sounds like a great idea. Kids diagnoised with ADD or ADHD seem to be targets for the bullies in school. Sometimes the public school system fails to address this sort of thing. What I liked about my children's high school is they had an alternative school down the street for the "unruly" or unproductive kids. The school didn't have any of the fun activities or programs the regular high school did and was more strict. Most kids did not want to go there, so there was incentive to behave themselves.

I never heard of this before, but it was a good idea I think. THey also had intervention type programs that helped students work out problems with each other. As a result, their high school was very highly rated despite the fact it was just a public school, nothing fancy.

But without such a system, I imagine most public schools don't provide much help in the area of bullies. Private school is a good way to go if you can!

Keep up the good work; from what I've seen you post, your daughter is lucky to have a mom working so hard to help her!

Jennita,

Thank you for the kind words. It really encouraged me because sometimes I feel like I've failed. I feel like I always have the answers and lately, I don't have any. I know I will never give up, that is definitely not me. I will keep on keeping on.

You were very lucky to have a public school that was so into the kids. Where I live, highschool is so crowded that it's basically impossible for them to deal which each kid idividually. She wanted to try out the public school, so I gave her a shot, but things are just too stressful right now.....for all of us. I think I will be giving the private school a call again and see what I have to do to get her in. I enjoyed her going there because they didn't have a lot of kids and like I mentioned before, they don't tolerate misbehaving. They also give random drug tests. And if an argument starts, they make the kids either write a note to each other apologizing or make them talk it out, which I think is wonderful. I do think I am leaning more towards private school this year.

Chantel

 
Old 02-22-2005, 11:06 AM   #14
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Jennita HB User
Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chantel2003
Jennita,

Thank you for the kind words. It really encouraged me because sometimes I feel like I've failed. I feel like I always have the answers and lately, I don't have any. I know I will never give up, that is definitely not me. I will keep on keeping on.

You were very lucky to have a public school that was so into the kids. Where I live, highschool is so crowded that it's basically impossible for them to deal which each kid idividually. She wanted to try out the public school, so I gave her a shot, but things are just too stressful right now.....for all of us. I think I will be giving the private school a call again and see what I have to do to get her in. I enjoyed her going there because they didn't have a lot of kids and like I mentioned before, they don't tolerate misbehaving. They also give random drug tests. And if an argument starts, they make the kids either write a note to each other apologizing or make them talk it out, which I think is wonderful. I do think I am leaning more towards private school this year.

Chantel
Private school really sounds great. Best wishes for your daughter and you!

 
Old 02-23-2005, 02:09 AM   #15
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Re: 11 year-old son with depression and ADHD

Chantel,

By virtue of our having relocated to Europe, my kids are in a private school for the first time in their lives. Socially, it has been a godsend for my 14yo severely ADHD son. It's wonderful how much easier it is for him to make friends in a school of 550 (grades K-12) than it was in a school of 2500 junior high kids. My 11yo ADD-inattentive son has done fine socially in either environment.

Honestly, though, I can't say that they are doing any better academically. One caveat that you need to be aware of in considering the switch to private schools is that private schools, unlike public schools, are not legally bound to make accomodations for disabled students (like those with ADD). So, if your daughter has been receiving any special services or accomodations, be aware that a private school may not be willing to offer that. Just something for you to check into before making the change.

Good luck to you and your daughter!

 
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