11 year-old son with depression and ADHD - ADD / ADHD Message Board

tgrose · 02-15-2005, 11:06 AM

I'm wondering if there are any parents out there who have young children with ADHD and depression. My son, who has done well on meds and in school, has become very angry lately. He's been teased a lot about being gay, and we've always tried to be supportive. But lately it seems that he's so angry at me (his mom) about everything. He's changed into this angry, critical pre-teen. He was diagnosed with depression last week and he's started therapy with a great psychologist and we're doing everything we can. Any ideas or people with advice?

This is a new one on me so any info would help.

sawbuck44 · 02-15-2005, 11:25 AM

Some meds cause anger issues. My son (13) takes 30mg of regular Adderall and has developed more of an angry tone when 'coming down' which is usually from about 4:30 to 5:30. After dinner he is fine usually. He has had his issues with bullies but his ADD is not the reason. You would not know he had ADD - probably because there's no 'H' - he is not hyperactive. He is the inattentive type so the meds really help him focus on his school work and he made honor roll this quarter! Well, for a while he was walking around really moody and I found out that he was getting picked on by a group of 4 boys - 2 of which he thought were his friends! I gave him ways to deal with it depending on the situation because he did not want me to get involved. I thought it was just name-calling and then one day he came home from school and told me that one of the boys (who sits at his lunch table!) threatened to have two 8th graders beat him up if he touched one of the other boys in that group. These boys are in 7th grade. My son told me that the 8th graders were the biggest kids in school. So I got involved. I told him, when you get threatened with physical violence, I have to get involved. He seemed so relieved! So a lot of what your son is experiencing is the effects of the bullying. If he is on meds, then that contributes too. Having the underlying conditions are no help in mood disposition either. Don't you just want to 'smack' everyone who is mean to him?! Sorry, had to vent. The assistant principal handled the situation so well in fact that my son is inviting the boy who threatened him to his birthday party and sleepover!

I'll be here if you have more specific questions. Take care

hanelo4 · 02-17-2005, 12:41 AM

Hi

My daughter has also been going through a bit of depression. I'm not sure if it is school or the medication. I took her off of Adderral because I thought it was that making her feel this way, but she is still down. She does have problems in school with teasing sometimes. She pretty much hates school right now. She is 15 years old, so I'm not sure what is going on with her. It could be so many things that I am stumped. Her grandmother also passed away about 6 months ago and she was close to her. See what I mean? I guess it could be a combination of things going on.

I'm not sure what to tell you to do, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in this. I am thinking about bringing her to a "life couch" as they call it. I just need to find one in my area. Maybe you can consider doing the same thing? I hope something works for all of us.

Chantel

sawbuck44 · 02-17-2005, 06:36 AM

My doctor almost insisted that my son since being treated for ADD be seen by a counselor. He has had three appointments and she has helped him deal with issues and situations by offering unbiased opinions and actions he can take to make the situations better.

Just recently he was being bullied at school and didn't want me to get involved. I was lucky enough to have him tell me what was going on. Usually we talk like this just before he goes to sleep. If I'm quiet long enough (hard to do lol), he will just start talking about his day. I never nag or judge him on what's he's saying. I had to get involved with the school when a kid threatened to have two older kids beat up my son. I was able to approach it in a way that it didn't look like he 'ran to mommy' and the principal also was great in getting the kids past this. The crazy part is my son thought this boy and he were friends. They are both drummers in the band, have drumsets and take private lessons, eat at the same lunch table. Weird! But it has been a long time since I've gone to school. There was an article in our paper about bullying and it has changed and gotten more aggressive and hurtful - mentally as well as physically. Anyway, now my son has invited this 'bully' to his birthday party and to a sleepover.

Here's the difference on me and my husband's approach to this bully issue: I gave my son different ways he could deal with it since he didn't want me to do anything - at the time it was just name-calling. Once he got threatened though, I told him I had to contact the principal. He seemed so relieved and actually seemed much happier that day than he had been in a week. When I told my husband - the first thing out of his mouth was ' what did he do to instigate this?'

So, after all that, I would say to both of you to bring your children to a counselor. Treating ADD/ADHD, especially if depression is involved, is more than just medicine.

tgrose · 02-18-2005, 08:29 AM

Thanks for all of the advice. The school is definately involved with the bullying issue, which helps a lot. And he is seeing a Counselor for the depression. I think I may start to take a look at WHEN he is exhibiting more anger. It might possibly be when he is coming down from the concerta. He really likes his therapist, and they've started working through a lot of issues. It's nice to know I'm not the only parent who has these difficulties.
Thanks