Turning ADHD on and Off? - ADD / ADHD Message Board

tomminny · 02-23-2005, 05:57 AM

My 6 year old son was diagnosed with adhd. His mother and I were divorced when he was 4 and she was remarried a year later. Her new husband is very strict to the point where the kids are not allowed to play with toys outside their bedrooms. My son was chewing with his mouth open and was banned from their basement playroom for a month...
We went to a counselor for awhile where my ex kept pushing how bad my son was at home and in school. I did not see the behaviors she talked about when he was at my house (once or twice during the week and over the weekends). I lost the battle with the counselor and they put my son on strattara at age 5. He was on that for a little over a year. I did not like the effect the strattara had on him....I think it made him more aggressive and his emotions seemed very on edge. The doctor did not like the way my son was not gaining weight so they switched him to concerta in January. I am much happier with the concerta because I can choose not to give it to him as it does not have to be kept at a level in his blood like the Strattara was.
I went to the doctors with my ex. yesterday to ask some questions. The first thing as we sat there in the office is the doctor said he could tell right away that the dosage was working because my son looked like he was behaving well. I said "He has been staying with me for three days so had not had the meds during that time". The doctory was taken back by that but said nothing. I told the doctor that I did not have the problems with my son that my ex seems to have at her house. He said "The reason for that is that your son holds it together at your house and when he gets home, he lets it all out." I am baffled by that statement. I have had my son for almost a week now with no meds and he seems to be doing great. We are on break from school so he has not had schoolwork so I cannot gauge his school behavior without the meds.
Could anyone comment on this turning adhd on and off? Is this possible if it is true adhd?
Thank you for your time.

Tom

Vintage Wine · 02-23-2005, 03:07 PM

Your son is obviously more relaxed and at ease with you. Stress/anxiety can greatly exacerbate the symptoms of ADHD. (Which is why I do not work in high-stress environments). I don't know, I'm not a doctor but if he's behaving one way with you and another aorund the ex and her militant husband, then it's very interesting.

I don't think your son is "turning it on and off". He's probably just worried about messing up when he's at home with his mom and Sgt. Carter.

Talk to a child counselor.

seriousperson · 02-23-2005, 04:02 PM

tomminny,

When my kids (who have not been diagnosed with ADD -- I have) would go to their dad's for weekends and other visits, he saw the same thing and heard the same things from me as do you.
It was explained that the kids felt "free" to act out with me, but not with him. Most likely this was because they were on visitor-mode, but I am not going to speculate beyond that.
However, when I moved four hours away (for employment), their visits became more extended and less frequent with their dad (e.g., 6 weeks in the summer and rarely a weekend, as compared with 2 weeks in the summer and about a weekend each month).
After a couple of weeks at Dad's, they would start to come out of their well-behaved-visitor mode and act out.

As someone who is not happy being on meds because of side effects, and, quite frankly, lack of positive effects, I empathize with your concerns.

But I am still trying the medications because I have been this way all of my life, and it has been very difficult, especially socially. When I was a little kid, people laughed at the odd things I would blurt out. (I'm a female, so it is more obvious verbally than physically -- of course

) Later, in school, I was reprimanded for talking out of turn. As an adult, it is no longer cute, funny, or acceptable--especially when it takes the form of busily working on 10 things at once under the eye of a micro-managing boss, or inappropriately sharing irrelevent observations.

So, I guess you want to determine whether your son's behavior is just age-appropriate (if annoying to some), or something that is going to prevent him from achieving a tolerable life-style and acceptance.

There are people who have been able to channel their hyper-activity (both mental and physical) into extremely lucrative careers. For instance, although I read that Jim Carrey, the actor, is bipolar rather than ADD, his manic, ADD-like phase works for him.
But I suspect if the whole population of ADD folks could be counted, the few who have achieved great fame and fortune because they were not medicated would be similar in proportion to the number of basketball stars as compared to all low-income kids who think playing basketball instead of doing homework will put them on the fast track to success.

Sorry to ramble (as usual). I hope that gives you some useful ideas.

rids · 02-23-2005, 07:17 PM

Stress is a huge factor concerning ADD/ADHD. Also, the amount of physical exercise, as well as the amount of healthy foods /junk foods one is consuming.

However- a speaker at one CHADD meeting emphatically stated that no diagnosis is meaningful or can be presumed correct if there is "family violence" in the home- physical or emotional. The behavioral manifestations of children in these homes is due to the environment.
Of course- that does not mean one does not have ADD, etc. but a true diagnosis cannot be obtained while living in that type of home.
kind of a fine line
C-Ga

Ellethiel · 02-24-2005, 09:21 AM

well, i don't have much I can say about the changing environment affecting his ADD. all I can say is that age 5 or 6 seems very very early to diagnose ADD in a little boy. espessially when he is in a situation like that. with the stress of changing environments and the stresses of being with your ex's spouse. I'm surprised it was diagnosed that early.

On what grounds was the diagnosis? do you feel that it was accurate? or do you think maybe he is behaving normally for a young boy. (i mean, they aren't exactly supposed to be calm and focused at that age...)