Impatience and Anger and grieving - ADD / ADHD Message Board

busterangel · 05-19-2006, 11:46 AM

Hi there,

I am still a newbie and have not been diagnosed yet with ADD. I have been doing some research and have been digesting the information and pondering how the symptoms have affected my life.

I guess you might say I am still in a way grieving because I am in the state of looking back and seeing how my life might have been different had I known what was the root of my problems.

I know that I feel relief but also anger. I need to learn some new coping skills (even at the age of 55)

This is sort of a broad question.

Does anyone else get impatient and angry with others when they don't seem to respond to you in a "timely" manner? I realize that with ADD, time is relative and having to "wait" on someone can seem like an eternity. But this can sometimes be a big issue for me.

I guess ADD people are sometimes the people who procrastinate but I am almost the opposite, I want to get done with something and move onto something else. I hate to have to wait on others. Everyone else seems to talk and move too slowly.

I find that in addition to the anxiety associated with ADD, I get depressed and angry because others can go through life "normal" and they don't have to deal with "being different".

Does anyone else feel this way?

blindsided · 05-19-2006, 02:43 PM

Hi Busterangel, yes I do get upset with myself because I just can't be normal like everyone else...it takes effort. When I came to the realization that I have ADD (runs in my family) I went through a mourning process and felt like my life could have been so much different. I made a lot mistakes because of my ADD and it was quite taxing on my family. I recently got diagnosed and I am on medication (Adderall). My anxiety associated with the ADD is gone when I am on the medication...it tends to come back when the medication is wearing off though. I have only been on it for a week now, but I see a tremendous difference. I have patience and can really focus and get things done.

You should read some of the books out there like Driven From Distraction it may help put thing in perspective for you.

busterangel · 05-19-2006, 02:53 PM

Thanks Blindsided. I haven't read that particular book but I have heard of it. I will have to check it out. I've read one of Thomas Hartmann's books on adult ADD, one by Lynn Weiss and several others.

I think the hardest thing is that I know that I have a lot more potential to be creative but it is very hard to follow through on my ideas. I not only get angry at myself but get angry at others for being able to accomplish things that I know I could do but just fall short of.

All my life I thought I would just grow out of my problems, like depression and anxiety but it doesn't work that way. Even though as an adult, life expreience has give me the skills to cope, I still experience the disappointment of not realizing my potential and being angry.

Thanks for the feedback. I am sort of going through a tough patch right now.

nightowl2 · 05-27-2006, 05:00 AM

I went thru the "what if I had known sooner stuff"
I also went thru the "If I had not been born with a.d.d., would I still be as creative anyhow? (I guess I am still wondering this!) LOL!

I can write poems that rhyme in a few seconds or minutes...usually.
I can write or make up either a song or do it by ear on the piano.
I can make up a story, for children, pretty instantaneously....but, the things that I am really known for, are the song composing! I started learning how to play the piano all by ear!

are there any people out there, like me?
or any other creative souls out there?
what are you great at?

also, are there any people like me, who talk way too much, and interrupt,and don't think that they are doing anything wrong, at all..but, their friends and family say differently!

I just gotta know...because just this morning, I wrote somebody back on a forum board...and all she said was "HUH!???" I think that I must have really shocked her! I then went back and erased most of it! It was a long, long long page full of stuff, that I was too darn lazy to put into a short little letter, instead!

anyone?

smz3 · 05-27-2006, 01:34 PM

I can't say that I talk way too much...actually it is the opposite for me. I have a tendancy to not say anything out of fear that I will say something wrong. But, when I am in a conversation, I do interrupt because I have already summed up what the person is saying and have an answer. I have noticed that poeple get silent when I do that and the conversation either ends or the subject gets changed.

I think with ADD, in my case anyway, when you are processing information you happen to blurt out what is on your mind without thinking it through first. It is an impulse control problem...which many of us have. Where as, a person who thinks in a more linear fashion, is processing differently and is able to think things through before they speak...they have good impulse control. Maybe this is why they look at it differently...they are saying..."I wouldn't have said that" because they have better impulse control. This could explain why so many of us feel rejected at times because we can't always read social cues. I could be wrong and sorry if this seems like a simple explanation...I am not even sure I expressed what I am trying to say properly.

On a positive note, people with ADD have a tendancy to be very creative and inventive. We are in good company....Stevie Wonder, John Lennon, Benjamin Franklin, da Vinci...the list goes on. We have a tendancy to view things from a more global perspective, which I feel, gives us an advantage. We get bored easy, so we are always looking for new ideas to stimulate us...we are visionaries.

I think that it is incredible that you are so creative...revel in it and enjoy! People probably envy your creative talents.