o_janus_o,
So your partner is already "leaving the driving to others". Well, I guess somebody has to drive, since there's no decent public transportation in California (I lived in Central California for most of my life until about 10 years ago).
I do recognize that giving up driving (especially in Calif) is not that easy. I've only been able to do it now because I live near a large city in northern Germany that has invested in a pretty good bus and train system, and also the country-wide train system makes it easy to travel to most parts of the country. Of course I have to admit to just a teensy (!!!) bit of hypocracy about declaring that my DH and I are able to live just fine without a car, in that I'm quick to accept rides from my friends who have cars.
I'm glad that you recognize that you're not immortal, however, and I hope that you are able to find some solution to being able to focus at the wheel.
--Rheanna