dont really understand - ADD / ADHD Message Board

traycei · 05-26-2006, 10:30 AM

i have a son who is going on 12 and will be entering junior high school next year.
he is a great kid but he can not keep focused and seems to always be getting in trouble
his school marks suck pretty hard but me and dad dont understand cause he knows the work and can do it but when it comes to test time he just looses it
he is on concerta 36.
i jusy hate always getting after him but sometimes it seems he does it on purpose ..i know he dont but it just feels that way.
is there anything we can do to get him to understand how important it is for him to concentrate.
also he does chores for money cause if there was not money involved he would never do them but it seems that he dont even care anout that..i worked it out that if he did all of his chores everyday he would be making about 80$ every 2 weeks but it has been at least 4 months and he has only earned 40$
i just dont understand
i need help

elmhar · 05-26-2006, 10:59 AM

Hi Traycei,

There are a number of possible explanations: 1) Your son needs a higher dose of meds. 2) He's suffering from med-induced anxiety. 3) He has test anxiety unrelated to the meds. 4) He's almost a teenager! 5) He's got ODD (oppositional-defiant disorder) going on along with the ADHD, & the meds are/are not intensifying that.

Has he seen a psychologist? It's hard for a GP doc to parse out stuff like this, IME. Psychiatrists are so focused on obeying drug reps, they're not likely to look further than medication issues. So, look for a good educational psychologist. There may be one connected with your school district.

Best wishes.

index.html · 05-26-2006, 11:34 AM

traycei -

What I think it's important for you to understand is that, if you son has ADHD, he can't help the fact that he can't pay attention. Telling him it's important for him to concentrate is like telling a blind person that it's important that they see! Sure it's important, but if he can't do it, he can't do it.

I recommend that you do more reading on the subject to understand what it's like for son and what you can do to help him. A few sessions with a good counsellor experienced in ADHD would also be a good idea. It would be helpful to you and it would be helpful to your son.

As far as the test-taking, what does he say about it? Does he get nervous? Is it hard for him to concentrate? Have the teachers tried letting him take tests in a smaller group setting (like a "learning lab" or whatever your school calls it)?

Could he be doing some of this on purpose? You asked, so here's my opinion. Certainly, kids conveniently "forget" chores and homework all the time. It's very difficult to ferret out what's going on in those situations. But as far as school and test-taking, I think it's very rare indeed for a 12 year old to want to do poorly in school. They want to do well. They want to be like the other kids. I doubt he blows it on tests purposely!

As far as chores, have you tried a chore chart? Something plainly visible where he can "X" off what he's done. You will still have to remind him to check his chart, but at least you won't have to remind him about each individual chore.

Just my 2 cents...