Can ADHD Affect Your Sex Life??? - ADD / ADHD Message Board

SofteeatHeart · 06-14-2006, 05:36 PM

I am married to a man with ADHD and although he is very loving and romantic in so many ways, the majority of the time, he rushes through sex and I am left dissatisfied. I was wondering if the impulsivity that is a characteristic of ADHD, can be contributing to the problems I am experiencing in my sex life.
Are there any other women reading this thread that are married to men with ADHD? If so, I very much would like your feedback. I would also be interested to hear input from men that have ADHD and their thoughts on this subject

busterangel · 06-15-2006, 11:11 AM

Not being a man, I can't identify from his side. But I can offer a perspective from someone who is probably ADD. I haven't been diagnosed yet but I feel very strongly this is what might explain my own experiences and behaviors since I was a child.

I have always had difficulty with intimacy. Because of my impulsive nature, I was always jumping into hot and heavy relationships that would sputter out.

Sex was often unsatisfying for me. I never fully understood why. Believe it or not I realize in some ways that I simply would lose the passion in the middle of the act. I would get distracted by everything from the sound of the plumbing or the fact that the ceiling needed painting. I can't explain why this happned but I just lost interest and wanted to move onto something else. It had nothing to do with my partner, per se. I just wanted to get it over with and go to sleep.

Just like other activities in life, my attention span was very short. This left my partners totally confused and probably a bit frustrated. One man came to the conclusion that I was maybe a lesbian, because I didn't have enough passion for him.

When I read a few books on ADD and they talked about this being somewhat common for people with different levels of ADD, it made me feel a bit better. I think that I am a rather sensual person but I could be a pile of cold potato salad in the sack.

MSLAINIE · 06-15-2006, 11:17 PM

My Bother Has Adhd And Has A Beatiful Daughter And Is On Dean's & All
My Neice Is From His 1st Marriage. Now His 2nd Wife Get Pregnate Quite
And Few Times But She Miscarriage All. They Were Both Tested And The
Problem Is With His Wife. My Bother With Adhd Is Always Running Crezy
But He Did Get Check And Doc Said He Could Have 50 If I Wants.....remember
Too The Largest And Has Most Control Over Your Whole Body In All In
Your Brain!!!and I Also You Need To Truely Trust That Person Or It Wont
Happy. My Girlfriend In England Her Husband Is Bi-poly. She Said Sometimes
He Is All To Her You Know To Whatever Or Other Times There Is None.
So They Had To Find It To Work Our For Them. So If You Like Each Other Ready Have A Good Relationship. I Just Had A Serious Surgery And My Hony
Would Wait Until I Am Ready. He Knows I Would You Help Him Out. But He
Says Its No Fun Without Me You Know. There Are Many Ways To Be Together
I Wish You Luch!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mslainie

dhyoung · 06-23-2006, 08:54 AM

I have ADHD and am a happily married husband with three children. I was guilty of the same thing as your husband for many years. It is my nature to get any task at hand finished before I get off-track. Have you somehow communicated to your husband that he needs to take more time? Try asking him if there is anything you can do to make sex more pleasurable for him. He may pickup on your question and ask you a reciprocal question. Good luck.

agentbad · 06-25-2006, 02:36 PM

Have you tried taking control in bed? I mean position wise taking control of speed and everything. Maybe add in some small detractions like sweets or fruits to keep his mind from going to fast.