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I mean, I function at a very high level but it does seem to me that something might be holding me back from my full potential.
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This is a classic quote of someone who has ADD! Many of us ADDers know this all to well and battle with it until we seek treatment.
Having ADD does not mean we lack intelligence, in many cases quite the opposite, it just means a certain part of our brain doesn't direct the traffic properly, that is why we get distracted so easily. I was recently diagnosed with ADD/inattentive type and was put on Adderall, 30mgs a day. It has helped me tremendously. I am able to stay focused, concentrate and the anxiety is gone. It is really helping my career.
If you are afraid of medication due to past drug addictions there are alternatives. If I were you, I would discuss this again with your Psychologist and she should be able to recommend a Psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD. They should be able to determine which medications would be best for you. Sometimes it takes a few tries before you find the right medication, but there are many options.
As far as ADHDers abusing speedy drugs, I am not really sure because drugs like Adderall and Ritalin slow us down so we can concentrate. It will speed up a non-ADDer, but it has the opposite effect on someone with ADD. At least that is my case and others as well. I guess the question would be, were you self medicating to numb anxiety? I was using alcohol to numb anxiety. It wasn't until I started taking Adderall that I realized I was self medicating due to the anxiety my ADD produced. I really do not have an urge to drink now at all.
I hope this helps. Good luck and if you do have ADD don't put off treatment because it really helps. Check back and let us know how you make out.