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Old 09-27-2006, 01:14 PM   #1
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does any one know what might be wrong

Am 24, i graduated from high school when i was 15, i have a bachelor in pre-medicine with a 3.2 gpa, and a master in physician science with a 3.1 gpa. however i have always realized that i don't take anything seriously in life. I have been procrastinating about studying for the mcats for the past two years; hence why am still not in medical school. A year ago, i decided to give up everything and become a music producer; i spent 4 months earning on a high end software for making beats, but am yet to read the manual and though i used the software effectively during the first week of purchase, i haven't used it since then. This fall, i decided to neglect my physician dreams and get a degree in computer engineering(am a compaholic, capable of spending 18hrs straight on a computer), but when i received my admission letters from the universities, i chickened out. I spend majority of time, trying to formulate uncanny ideas. for example i stated to some girls that "there isn't any difference btw a human being and a fish living in the depths of the ocean, and it's reality is based on influences of it's environment; so with that hypothesis what we humans consider as our reality might as well be a facade" well let just say, those girls now think am a psycho . Everyday i tell myself that i will be productive, but i neva keep the promise. however, if i just get an initial stimuli to pursue an feat, after a week, i will probably be the most dedicated individual involved in the act. An ex-girlfriend had dragged me to a psychiarist, that prescribed ADD and subsequently depression pills to me: i faithfully took the pills for four months each consecutively, and saw no difference; so i stopped b/c it was killing my appetite and making me nauseous. Am getting scared cos am getting older, i can't even hold a job cos i get bored with it and quit. Am not doing anything with my life, and no matter how many self help books or advice i get from the behavioural therapist, nothing seems to work. I might be motivated for a day or two, then am back daydreaming about the metaphysical nature of the world that's beyond the conscious knowledge. Currently, i have only one friend, and the weird ascept is it's by choice. When i meet new people, i rarely acknowledge them, and those that go out of their way to contact me, are always meet with a cold shoulder. I don't fantasize about girls like most guys my age tend to do, i neglect most sexual advances, unless am in the mood to have sex. Most of the time, i just want to be left alone with my thoughts. Though, i have learned to accept that am different, am still puzzled about my character, and the effects it would have on me and my loved ones in the future. for example, i ignore phone calls from my family for weeks and neva feel guilty about it. I don't think am depressed, cos am neva sad, i commuicate well with people when i choose to; i just like to be left alone with my thought. By the way am sorry for the long post, but i decided that if i were to post, i might as well make it a good post. Thanks

 
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Old 09-27-2006, 06:45 PM   #2
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Re: does any one know what might be wrong

Have you considered Aspergers?

 
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