what does ring of fire ADD feel like ?
I've been suffering my whole life from extreme anxiety , anger ,depression . I "feel" and am aware of everything around me all the time . I'm on a number of meds and can only block out so much . I feel irritated and neg. even being in the presence of someone sometimes . My feelings and thoughts seem affected by so many things . Also I can't seem to keep interest in any one thing for more than a few minutes. I've not accomplished very much and I'm 30 now. Conversation is difficult and my energy level is always low. I'm sensitive to sounds , light , touch . I too had a different impression of the world around me (black and white perspective) and am working on every aspect in order to be able to at least do simple daily tasks . Seems like I need some extreme feeling to get me to do anything on my own otherwise I would just sit there. It's like I tag along with everyone else and their lives but when it comes to mine ..it's pointless to even try . I can't even get past cleaning my own room ..I'm starting step by step but I'm still at the step where I need to try things . I'm a big kid and accepting myself at this level is difficult . I know I'm smart but the only thing I have to talk about is what I feel or anything to do with my health . I find my anger and anxiety are the only things I can feel and the only thing that drives me into action . **** me off or scare the hell out of me and I accomplish things . I'm good at writing but it's always focused on me or my health or on the fantasy world I thought life was . I find I do get stuck in ruts , and when I get feeling good I get cocky and impulsive ..then I feel a shift and get anxious . My moods shift in seconds either from a thought , a feeling or something around me . It's horrible and I'm working on not assuming , seeing the grey area , thinking before I act and positive thinking ..It's alot of retraining my brain and I just want to be able to feel good without something ruining it . I'm in fight or flight all the time and even when I was on another antipsychotic and felt " good " I was still sad inside . My Doc suggested ADD might be an issue as well as bipolar , and anxiety disorder . I find I notice little things others don't and laugh my *** off ..I try to keep it in though . I suspect others in my family may have a form of ADD as well but I seem to be the only one willing to admit to having issues .Right now I 'm not able to work and probably going on disability . My focus is on keeping active and trying new things ..any kind of accomplishment makes me feel better. I'm hoping I'll find the answer soon and though I may not be able to catch up ..I 'll at least feel half decent and more stable . The kind of help I need is not available in Canada..DBT and other treatment . Anyone have any input or feel somewhat the same way ? I'm on tegretol , cymbalta, trazadone, and mirtazapine . It's not too bad I still go through these multiple mood shifts in a very short period if there's a trigger ..there are too many to count .. Feels like a little kid going through tantrums and crying spells sometimes ..other times it comes out and I feel it . I kind of separated myself from the negative things I felt when I was young and sometimes I experience it like a third person . I think it was a way of protecting myself from my huge feelings. I was so into everyone else's feelings (or what I assumed them to be ) cause I couldn't seem to ignore them . I hadn't developed or there just wasn't a person there to defend . not sure if that's a personality thing or what but even now my actions I recall less than anothers . Even today I don't take as much interest in doing my things alone than what everyone else is doing . I don't want to focus on them anymore . I don't feel good about anything I do enough to keep me at it . Never seems to be enough . Where have I gone ? I can't seem to sustain myself in the presence of others .
Any ideas ??
Last edited by trulee unique; 07-14-2008 at 01:32 PM.
The Following User Says Thank You to trulee unique For This Useful Post:
In a very positive way you are unique. If your handle is a reference to what is going on inside your head, you're not that unique. That is good news because it indirectly means there is a fix.
"what does ring of fire ADD feel like"
"Ring of fire ADD" is to the best of my knowledge a Dr. Daniel Amen specific ADD subtype. You should read everything you can find written by Dr. Daniel Amen. He is not loved by his peers. That too is a good thing. In the good ol USofA I only know about three shrinks that have brains - possibly four.
I wish I could tell you I have "ring of fire." I can't but I can come close. I have "overfocused" ADHD. "Overfocused" is to the best of my knowledge another Dr. Daniel Amen specific subtype. By "specific" I mean not generally recognized by all the other shrinks that hate Dr. Amen.
I can also identify with some of your symptoms.
Lots of depression and anxiety prior to ADHD therapy. Virtually none since.
You are doing well "going a few minutes" before losing interest. Better than many with ADHD.
Thought precedes everything. How can we have "linear" conversation with a chaotic brain? Our conversation reflects our brain state and our interests. Yes, had that problem too before ADHD management. Reading about stuff that other people are interested in can help with conversation. It is funny. We are all very interested in our own health. None of us are all that interested in someone's else health unless similar problems.
You wrote: "My moods shift in seconds either from a thought, a feeling or something around me." Rapid thought shifts trigger rapid mood shifts. Hmn, sounds like ADHD to me.
Low energy might be the result of depression. Depression might be your reaction to ADD as it was mine or it might be a "stand alone" disorder. I experienced clinical depression caused by a drug I took for hepatitus. I was depressed the entire time (over six months) on the drug and then the depression persisted several months afterwards, no breaks, no joy, nothing but despair. The depression and anxiety episodes I experienced most of my adult life were of the short lived episode types. Heck, some days I'd go from happy to depressed to anxious to etc. all within a single day. Mood shifts measured in seconds are more likely ADHD produced.
Bipolar. How bad is it when manic? I'm not trying to be funny I just can't figure how to ask it another way. Do you A. Think your God. B. Prime minister C. Or mayor?
The "higher" you get when manic the more difficult it becomes to use the most common ADHD medications which are stimulants. In one sense "overfocused" ADD is similar to the mania phase. The big difference is I don't experience any pronounced feeling of depression or elation that accompany bipolar. Too much stimulant worsens my overfocused states just as stimulants can worsen mania. The rapid mood shifts you described are much more typical of ADHD. You may be suffering from both ADHD and bipolar. Look hard at ADHD with your doctor if you do not experience prolonged periods of depression and mania.
You said: "I'm sensitive to sounds , light , touch." I can't relate to these symptoms but they're the only ones so far. As far as perspective of the world, that is a tough one. I'll tell you what I know. When I was clinically depressed, everything bothered me. The most innocent remarks by people I know and love bothered me. I'm not a "everything bothers me" person normally.
"Thinking before I act." You're going to try fixing it? Let me know how you do. I'm 56 and still can't think before I act. ADHD, ADHD, ADHD - Your post is screaming it. Hey doc said maybe. Correct? Maybe higher percentage of Canadian docs have brains.
You do need to know something. I am not a doctor. That means I dumber than most U.S. shrinks.
I tell you just how dumb I am. I loaned my most valuable ADHD book to a business associate's son who is more ADHD than me. I'll just order new when I get done here. Book is written by Dr. Daniel Amen. The book's title is "Healing ADD ---- Six subtypes of ADD" or something similar. I practically wore book out from shear number of reads. I can't remember title. ADHD or senior moment?
I have this partial fuzzy recall from Amen's book about sound, light and touch sensitivities. I also fuzzily recall those symptoms important in diagnostics and therapy. This brain stuff is complicated. Many disorder symptoms overlap each other. It is critically important to get an accurate diagnosis.
So take this with a grain of salt and talk about it with a real doctor. Actually your guy impresses me by considering ADD a cause.
To take one sentence out of an extremely long post, this is classic ADD,
Originally Posted by trulee unique
**** me off or scare the hell out of me and I accomplish things .
The usual treatments for ADD are stimulants. Getting furious or terrified releases adrenaline, which has the same effect on the brain as Ritalin. It seems crazy. "Why run around at the last minute, Jane, you had all week to do <whatever>". In fact, what I didn't realize for a long time was that I wasn't capable of doing that particular task without massive deadline stress.
Ultimately, that's probably my biggest argument for using ADD medications, that using pills is often safer and certainly less disruptive than being an adrenaline addict.
I still remember when I was diagnosed by an educational psychologist at 19. I'd had months of psychotherapy for depression, no benefit, still had suicidal thoughts. This woman probably saved my life, after one session I wasn't depressed anymore--because I saw options and hope where I'd had no reason to feel good before. I continued to see her for several months, learning the basic skills like keeping a planner that most adults already had. Bob, this lady is no shrink, but she's brilliant.
Clearly you do have some mood issues. If you do have ADD, emotional volatility is a part of it. There's a toddler inside everybody, ADD-ers have a harder time keeping that toddler under wraps. Untreated ADD can definitely lead to depression and whatnot, see previous paragraph. It also could be that you have other things like bipolar. Unfortunately, there's no lab test to say for sure.
By DBT, do you mean CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy? Haven't tried it, heard good things though.
I got back after certain bad things happened to Index's post.
On point A - too bad. Point B I may not have as big a brain as "this lady" but big enough to see smart when I see smart.
Nevertheless, stop confusing my cynicism with brilliance
Relevant to truly unique's post. I found it comforting that you basically have same take as me. Sometimes my lack of detail, broad based generalizations and just down right dumb comments can mislead people. They sure can blow up computers. I don't want to blow up people too. I read recently that a surprising number of folk trust us (user experiences) more than their doctors. Well, at least now, I got two brainys covering my back. I got subbrainys on my team too - Index and Rheanna and Thunor. Hell, I'm safe. Do you know Index graduated college magnum loud?
Truly unique, look very hard at ADHD with your doc.
Something bad happened to my post? Oh, horrors. And to think that I missed it and now I can't think what it might have been. Oh well, never mind.
Although I agree with the others, truly unique, that much of what you describe sounds ADD-ish, I must throw in my two cents and say you also quite clearly sound bipolar with rapid cycling. Please DO NOT stop your other medications while trying something for ADD. That, as you probably know, could be disasterous. I expect that you experience mania as many people do. And that is as hypomania - you don't feel like you are God or the mayor. You just get so dang irritable that you wish you were God so you could tell all these other idiots to jump off the planet.
You may well have ADD in addition to your BPD. If you wish to persue the ADD end of it, you need to see someone who specializes in BPD (ie NOT a family physician). While those with BPD can take stimulants, it needs to be done under very careful supervision. The risk you run isn't that of over-focusing like Bob does; it's of going so far off the deep end that you may need hosptilization to get straightened back out.
Thank you so much for the replies . I was going through one of my panicky moods and I decided to take a break from the health related stuff . I forced myself to do a bunch of other things and come back to this later . I really appreciate the advice and encouraging words .
I'm in the process of finding a doc who deals with these disorders and apparently according to my family doc my mood stabilizer is in the " therapeutic " range haha . Is that why I 'm so drowsy and so slow ? ...I'm kind of upset cause I promised myself I wouldn't drug myself to the point of feeling like a zombie but right now it seems to be the only way to give myself a break from the anxiety and keyed up feelings . I'm not giving up on this ..
Take care and thanks again for caring enough to write
Hello trulee unique
Wow ,your description is more or less me except for a few variables.
(nobody knows still looking into with help from pro's ,think its add//adhd/bipolar/depression/manic/dissocative/fill in)
Touch ,big one for me ,got over it ,now it frightens the crap out of me to touch someone else (I didnt like it ,oversensitive to it ,suppressed it for years (undersinsitive ,nothing or pain),got out of the habit ,(concerta worked) oversensitive ,got that handled. Now, its the question for me do other people experiance it as I do ,did ,something like that.Sounds is a big one ,some voices are just to damn over the top ,and a perculator ,like a mile away sounds like a hammer,listening in on conversations ,following 3 or 4 of them ,in a call centre (dont like intruding ,but cant help) extreme confusion ,list goes on ,sometimes its drilling your brain away (want to lock myself up in a dark room ,with nothing to distract me while I am working ,did it for about 7 years ,did not help ,27 now) ,anything moving around ,my concentration gone ,(people feel distant ,senses feel misplaced) ,sometimes you are there ,sometimes not ,and sometimes you are THERE!!! ,sometimes you like people ,sometimes everybody is IDIOTS ,and then there is the brain storming shut up please for a second so I can think ,dammit ,o please can I just pass out for a year ,feeling.
Do you also get extremely ****** off when you are on a roll and you get interupted ?(this is weird ,can pull 5 or more peoples work ,do it in half the time ,but its like everything else switches off that you dont need ,absolute brilliance ,and then you dont have a clue what you did ? What is up with that ?)
Find it extremely easy to learn something new ? (after a while ,might be 5 mins or a day or 2 ,its just boring as hell?)
And yea ,the feel aware of everything around you ,rapid mood swings ,(happy sad ,irretated ,crying spells ,and all the other missing emotions _I have a lot of those).
This is a big one sometimes ,and can be overwhelming for me 2 ,wished I can just switch off.
And for me it feels that I can only live in chaos ,comfortable there ,as soon as I get some structure ,and it gets broken ,big deal ,its like everything falls apart.
Also to scared to let anyone into this world of mine.
Hang in there ,you are not ALONE.
(going for a re-eval ,cat scan ,.......list goes on , and now I am getting cluster migranes)
But ,what works for me ,is a little of Tiesto's trance music (instead of metal).
The searching for sunrise cds ,on some really good sealed headphones ,not 2 loud ,can really get me relaxed.
Also on a couple of different meds to keep me calm (not working at the moment)
Dont buy a superbike (lol) ,no seriously
I am looking into NLP and some kind of social skills ,communication books, because ,people ,every one of them ,is different ,hence not boring ,depending on your belief systems ,and I am working on mine ,and this is helping me alot (alot of damage to reverse ,since ,most people scared of me (fitness freak ,biker ,long hair ,tall ,well built ,and the $#@$ is wrong with this person) ,scared I will snap and ,ah well I dont know ,preconcieved image ,they dont know me ,and I actually like to help where I can.
I am rambling again.........