Re: Think husband has ADHD. what do you think?
Yes, I do hear a lot of ADHD behaviors in your description of him, particularly starting things and not finishing them, and talking about inappropriate or uninteresting things.
I also hear some typical poor coping mechanisms:
Use of nicotine and caffeine as self medication
Creating urgency--the real reason why the task has to be done Right Now is that if it isn't urgent, he might forget it.
I'm also hearing some other separate problems. The first (no offense, Bob) is that he might be a Real Man. Real Men do not seek medical attention unless they have gaping wounds or broken bones. They aren't supposed to develop invisible chronic illnesses such as hypothyroidism. They most especially do not see psychiatrists.
Real Men also support the family. Work is deeply tied into identity and self-respect for them, and the loss of a job can cut very deeply. However, Real Men often feel compelled to hide hurt or depression, bury it with alcohol, or show it only as anger.
If he wants his brain to work right, he really does need to take his thyroid medicine and eat properly, but the decision to do that has to be his.
He may not be willing to seek help, or it may take a suggestion from someone other than you. In the meanwhile, do what you can to protect your family financially take care of yourself.