Let me briefly say that I just got diagnosed with ADD, from my doctor. I am 25 years old. I was classified with a learning disability in early grade school, for "perceptional impairment". I was never tested for ADD but I always struggled to focus on paying attention to things I was not interested in. if I was learning something I was interested in, like art for example, I had NO problem learning it. over the years I have learned to deal with my lack of focus to get through school, I found ways around it to compensate. I am very skilled in my area of art. I graduated with a BFA degree in graphic design. I was interested in my work, so even though there was a lot to concentrate on, I feel I did not have too many difficulties. However, the reason I got prescribed adderall was because I got fired from my last job because of my inability to stay focused, and therefore had poor job performance. It's easy for me to stay focused on my own creative projects, but not when I was given directions for creating, and paying attention for several hours. I'm great at what I do, when my head is in it.. but if not, I dread doing the task at hand, and can become anxious and depressed for feeling that way because I know it is my passion and I worked hard to get here.
I have been on Adderall 10mg for almost 2 weeks. the first week, it really worked great. I saw parts of my personality come out, that I haven't seen in years. my focus was back completely, I got excited about things and didn't have to force myself to think.. the thoughts just came naturally. it also cured my depression which was a direct result from not being able to concentrate, and feeling hopeless and guilty about it. right before I got diagnosed, my ADD had turned so sever that I literally stopped thinking.. about everything, and couldn't focus on anything. not even conversations with my friends. let me also say that for the past 4-5 years I've had a substance abuse problem with using marijuana on a very regular basis. To me, it was the only thing to make me feel excited about my life. I do not use it anymore. Anyway, I've read that due to the amount of substance I've consumed over the years, that it has made the ADD much worse because it has caused damage to my frontal lobe in my brain.. which is probably why for the last year, I have felt brain dead and literally had to force myself to think inside my head. Like I said, this adderall worked GREAT for the first week, but slowly I feel its effects less and less. I can focus when I force myself to, but the problem is having the thoughts to instruct myself on what I should be doing with my time. Thats why I said the adderall was working great at first for that voice in my head.. but I feel its effects less and less each day. My concern is that I'm afraid that if I keep going up in my dosage of adderall, that it will eventually stop working... and I will get to exactly the same point I was at right before I started taking it--lack of mental clarity, focus, anxiety, depression. antidepressants can restore the brain to producing the chemicals properly, so you can attempt to go off it when you feel better and hopefully the depression won't return. Do you think this could be true about adderall? Can it heal my brain from the damage of substance abuse? I don't want to mention the substance abuse to my doctor because I fear he will take me off the medication all together, for not being able to trust me, but I assure you.. I have no desire to get "high".. I just want to feel like a normal, healthy, functioning person. Now that I've finally got the voice back in my head, getting me to think again.. I am DESPERATE to have it stay and never go away again. Has anyone else had this problem.. like they feel like they can't think about anything at all?? The adderall has even helped me to have dreams at night again. I would stay on this medication for life if its the only thing that's going to help me. Does anyone think there are better medications for ADD.. that are strong enough to help my SEVER ADD and mental clarity? I just want to start my life in the working world, and feel capable. Thank you so much for anyone who's read this. I'm just desperate to help myself heal.
Your situation is somewhat convoluted, and I'm afraid I don't have time to answer properly right now.
So, in a nutshell, my initial impressions are these. It's normal for people starting Adderall to go through a period of euphoria, where everything seems better. This is because you're increasing the level of dopamine in your brain, which is the neurotransmitter primarily responsible for feeling good. As your brain adjusts to the new levels of dopamine, you will lose that euphoric state, and hopefully settle into one where it's easier to concentrate, though it won't be as great as it was at first.
If you've actually damaged your brain due to drug abuse, adding stimulants will not heal it. What they may do, however, is get you to a mental state where you can do the other things that would be necessary to heal your brain, much information is available in that regard. Try talking to your doctor as a jumping off point, if you're not afraid of his/her reaction.
10mg is a rather low dose of Adderall. Stimulant dosing for individuals with ADHD covers a wide range, and there is no hard and fast answer as to how much is the right amount. All we can do is try different doses and see how things go. I wouldn't be afraid to step your dose up to 20mg or more to see if things improve, again, discuss this with your doctor.
I'll try to get back to this thread soon. Best of luck.
First of all, Marijuana doesn't cause brain damage. It turns you into a lemur. You haven't read DEA Weekly closely enough. There's a reason why there are at least 14 States with medical cannabis laws and over half the States may soon have such laws: Being a lemur is hip and the Fed hates animals because they don't wear turbans.
I was a Proposition 215 patient in California, so I've used it extensively too. Although I'm still getting used to having a tail, I did finally complete a degree with its help after 6 years of studying criminal justice, environmental science, American history, I.T., psychology, and political science without ever earning a piece of paper.
You said you're having trouble getting the juices flowing to start new innovative projects. Did you finish all of the projects you started before? Before I started Adderall IR (as part of my first P. Doc's initial experiment), I had around two dozen computer networking projects partially finished; many partial books consisting of anywhere from a skeleton outline, to an introduction and a single chapter, to six or more chapters that appear to have been written by different people working on other books. Some of my computer projects were absurd: I had a plan to add as many Greasemonkey scripts and Firefox extensions as I possibly could to my client. Why? I don't know; ask unmedicated ADHD me.
I don't know why you wouldn't want to get high. I want to, but I know street drugs will kill me and cannabis in my current State would land my effeminate figure in a cell with lonely men. That's why I only smoke cigarettes. Occasionally, I drink wine and listen to my liver through a stethoscope and showcase a prideful grin while it congratulates me for patronizing the alcohol lobby.
Perhaps the Adderall could be impacting your creativity. Try splitting tabs and climbing down slowly off the psychostimulant ladder until you're unmedicated. Then see if you're feeling adventurous. See what you come up with. Then examine your incomplete venture on medication.
By the way, psychostimulants aren't healthy. They're deleterious. The "brain healing" effect you speak of, that boon of Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) like Zoloft, is the growth of new neurons in the hippocampus. Cannabinoids do that too. Don't know from which study you gleaned that cannabinoids deal frontal lobe damage. Was that in DEA Weekly too? Admittedly, I don't read it through either. I always skip to the help wanted ads looking for a WMD Scout position, but I think I'm years too late. The jobs dried up quick when the prospects went the way of untapped phone calls.
Best of luck to you!
Edit: By the way, there's no such thing as a "normal person". Everyone has problems. Some wife beat, some spend time collecting refuse, some are exercise addicts, some lie, some proselytize and control, and the rest either glitz over their flaws or pretend they have none.