Relationships - ADD / ADHD Message Board

understanding · 01-22-2001, 12:00 PM

My partner of three months is suddenly panicking about our relationship and feels the answer is to possibly end it. We are both happy, have told each other we are in love, and don't fight. I am a teacher and understand ADD. His ADD has not been a problem for me. He is not on any medication. He is not sure he can committ to one person - even though he is not interested in anyone else. He feels he will lose his freedom. He calls me every night, invites me over, and even planned a trip for us (on which we had a great time). Even when he asks for space, he misses me and can't go three days without seeing me. But then the depression sets in (he misses me) and he can't handle that. What can I do or is this his battle? I told him I will stick with him while he deals with this. I truely love him and want this to work. There is a great deal of good here. He is a wonderful person. Has anyone else experienced an ADD partner with anxiety attacks and mood swings?

[This message has been edited by understanding (edited 01-22-2001).]

[This message has been edited by understanding (edited 01-22-2001).]

alazay · 01-22-2001, 08:21 PM

It sounds like he cares about you, but he is just not sure that he can commit, and is not ready to answer weather he can or can't. It is nice to know that he is honest..alot of guys aren't. i wouldn't force him to answer you, because you might make him say something that he was bot sure of saying. You shoud wait on him to decide, or move on to someone who is willing to be as serious and ready as you are. As someone who suffers from add, I do not think ADD has anything to do with his situation. But you say he has depression, and anxiety attacks...he needs to be on medication to help himself with that. Those things will never get better with out it.

understanding · 01-23-2001, 06:06 AM

Thanks. I noticed in reading "ADD and Romance" that once the "newness" of the relationship wears off, ADD adults sometimes suffer anxiety and begin to wonder if they have chosen the "right one." I have explained to him that 3 months may not be enough time for him. I don't want him to push me away. I am willing to see him through this. He continues to call me nightly and for now we have backed up a bit a slowed things down.

alazay · 01-23-2001, 09:28 AM

I don't think you should worry. Three months is kind of early. I say give it a few months! Good Luck!

Babernethy · 01-25-2001, 01:18 PM

Sounds like he does care but his emotional state is not yet ready for 'heavy stuff'. If you care for him go out on a limb and buy him a large bottle of Naturally sourced Vitamin B complex 100 mg, and a bottle of Natural Chelated Zinc 20mg and tell him to take 1 each every morning. In about 4 days he will be seeing clearer and feeling better and more relaxed. He may even be able to get off the meds the same as I have.
Good Luck and be patient!