grandaughter with ADHD???? - ADD / ADHD Message Board

nuzzmark · 02-19-2002, 09:47 AM

Hi,
Boy! I am so glad I found this BB. I will try to make this concise & to the point. Our DD has a little girl that is just 2 1/2. She will be 3 in August. She also just had a baby boy the day after Thanksgiving. She is VERY active & is in what we have here in MA called Early Intervention. This takes place once a week for 2 hrs. Right now it is one on one & I have gone with them. Honestly????? I think it's a place for kids to run around & play. They say the objective is to have her listen & do what they ask. Well, if she doesn't, they just do something else. They haven't really seen her take one of her 'hissy fits', as I call them.
She is a very loving, beautiful little girl, but wants her own way. DD has said that when they put her to bed at night, if they don't stay in the room & read, she'll scream so much, she throws up. Funny, it doesn't happen for her afternoon nap. ?? DD doesn't want to put her on Ritalin, although she was given the prescription by the pediatrician. She has given her Benedryl, at night, but she will still wake up & scream.
DD, just this morning, made an appointment with a child physcologist. Her DH works alot of overtime & is not around there till after she's in bed. I feel very bad for DD, & I take this cutie as much as I can. Would you believe she's not that bad for us????
I feel that there is not the discipline (consistant) that there should be. He (DH) feels when he gets home, if she's still up, he has to play with her. I told DD that she needs to have at LEAST 2 hrs. a week ALONE. I do not feel that is too much to ask. She said, "but he works all those hrs. & anyway, he couldn't handle 2 kids." You do not want to know what my reaction was. Except that I said "Well, what happens if you end up in the hospital? He'll have to do it then, right?"
Please understand that I am looking out for all invloved. She wanted me to come somewhere on here & ask about ADHD & behavioral problems...what any of you have encountered.
By the way, she has not been actually diagnosed with ADHD. DD has filled out a form to send to Children's Hospital in Boston, child nuerologist I think?, & there is a 3 month waiting list for her to be evaluated.

All replies will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for listening.

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Clara

Molly M · 02-19-2002, 09:02 PM

To be honest with you, it sounds like your grandaughter is fairly typical of this age. Over here where I'm from some of the doctors won't even look at a child until they are 4 years old. I can't BELIEVE her doctor gave a prescription for ritalin without a diagnosis for anything!!! She's only 2 1/2 for pete's sake!! That makes me sick. What was he prescribing it for? I have heard of preschoolers crying and screaming so much that they throw up, and they are not ADHD. I think you are absolutely right about disipline. They are trying to get attention in a way they know how. I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who doesn't listen to me over half the time. She is in her own world, doing what she likes. It takes a lot of time and energy to deal with an "independent child". And it takes give and take. I know that ADHD is very over diagnosed in this country. People are always looking for a reason for every imperfection we have. So eventhough it sounds like your grandaughter is a "strong willed" little girl, she might be crying out for some real disipline or attention. Good luck to you. I hope if she does get checked that she doesn't get diagnosed with ADHD. Best wishes.

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Molly H.

[This message has been edited by Molly M (edited 02-19-2002).]

mlgable · 02-20-2002, 07:44 AM

I too think that is too young to be giving out a prescription for Ritalin without a proper diagnosis or need for it. When she gets upset enough to throw up this is a definate signal for attention and guess what??? It works. Lets face it if she throws a fit and eventually throws up somewill come and clean things up and pay attention to her. She most likely doesn't have a real clue as to why she is doing this. Since she is calling out for help by doing this hopefully the child psychologist will be able to offer some good suggestions for your daughter. This is not unusual behavior for a child that age as the other poster mentioned. And yes the husband does need to spend time with BOTH kids alone and let your daughter go out of do whatever for several hours a week. Working overtime is not an excuse as my husband works full time, goes to school part time, bartends on occasion, has a small vending business on the side as well as being a handy man for a co-workers small apartment complex. We have two kids that are just under 11 months apart in age and he has always had some time for both of them. The husband needs to get more involved in both the care of those kids as well as the medical aspect of all of this such as comming along to the doc appointments. Also if your daughter is feeling rather stressed by all of this it may be time for her to talk to her own doctor about her own well being. Hope things work out for everyone and please stay involved. You may even want to see about going along to the doc if you daughter would allow it. This would ease the burden of her dealing with both kids and also give your daughter someone talk to regarding the docs suggestions etc. Good Luck.

ssmfeen · 02-20-2002, 08:44 AM

Hi, Your granddaughter sounds a lot like my son at that age. And I agree with everyone else that she is much too young for medication. My husband works constantly in the winter (seasonal work) and it was very hard to keep consistency in discipline with my son. When he was old enough to realize that, as your granddaughter, is he ran this house and us with it. The wake up call for us was when he was thrown out of a preschool at 3 years old and we had to look at the things we were doing. Working with a child psychologist can help as long as both parents are willing to look at how they are doing things and make changes. It is hard to ignore a tantruming child, and my son used to throw up as well. One thing that we did do that has helped a lot over the last three years is rewards based charts. I think I could write a novel on them but they work and don't have to be elaborate. My pediatrician said that you can't acurately diagnose a child until they enter a school program and when my son went to Kindergarten and couldn't manage as the other kids were doing is when we started the testing and it still took six months to get an acurate diagnosis. If you live in MA keep in mind that Mass General has free clinics and evaluations for children suspected of ADD and ADHD and they are a wonderful resource. I think that the experts there will tell you she is too young to be considered though. I would be happy to pass along resources we have used if you would like.

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homemom

nuzzmark · 02-23-2002, 12:49 PM

Hi you guys....
Couldn't get back until now to thank you all for your replies. That little cutie's baby brother is being Christened tomorrow & I have lots to do.
I told DD about your answers & she was thankful too.
Any info would be greatly appreciated.
Again, thanks for helping. Have a great weekend.
I'm sure with all the kids

around tomorrow, this Nana will be

and will be sleeping very soundly tomorrow nite...early!

lol