Sibling with ADD - ADD / ADHD Message Board

mattb · 04-06-2002, 09:27 AM

OK someone has to help me. I love my little brother so much. I'm 14 and he's 9. He was diagnosed with ADD a few years ago. It's hard enough having a little brother, much less one with ADD. I will give him a list of things to do before mom gets home, and I'm lucy if ONE of them gets done. I really wish there was some way I could communicate better with and be a better big brother figure to him...It hurts me so much that he thinks that I hate him, and I don't...How can I improve my relationship with him?

Thanks!
--Matt B.

mlgable · 04-06-2002, 08:29 PM

The first thing you might do is try doing some reading or research on ADD so you better understand what is happening to your brother with his ADD. Think of yourself reading a page in a book or working on a math problem and say your mom walks by or loud car passes by the room where you were working in. It momentarily distracts you. When you go back to your page in the book or the math problem you were working on you are able to pick up where you left off. A person with ADD cannot just pick up where they left off. When look back at that page in a book or that math problem they have no clue where they were or what they were doing. This should help explain why it takes your brother so long to finish something when you give him a list of tasks. What I found that works the best for that type of thing is to work near him and tell him as he works ok put this here or now that you have picked up the floor start vacuuming. If you keep him on task he will get a lot more done. Working together on things is a great way to help your brother and to get things done. I think basically working with him and just helping him is the best suggestion that can be made. Asking for help is a great thing for you to do regarding your brother. Good Luck.

travis000 · 04-09-2002, 12:41 AM

what are some add signs that you have it?

mattb · 04-09-2002, 06:35 AM

signs that I have it? not many. normal loss of attention for a fourteen year old, but nothing major!

mlgable · 04-09-2002, 07:07 AM

Travis read my reply and you will see what a good clue is. If you are working on a paper or reading something when you get minutely distracted even by a car going past your house when you look back at the page you have NO clue where you were or what you were doing. ADD persons often have poor small motor skills ie: difficulty with handwriting. They tend to be very disorganized as by time since they can't stay on task long enough to remember what they were doing. Many people liken ADD to daydreaming which I do not feel is really true. Lets face it if a normal person is distracted in any way when he goes back to reading a page or doing something he can pick up where he left off. An ADD person has no clue and needs to literally start all over again. Hope this describes it better for you.