Help in dealing with 7yr old..... - ADD / ADHD Message Board

~mandy~ · 04-13-2002, 02:44 PM

I'm at a loss as to what to do with my 7 year old son. He's got add, but is not yet medicated. His doc's appointment is this week to discuss it. The main problem with him is decepline right now. Nothing works....we've tried, time outs in his room, time outs in the corner of the living room, time outs in our room all alone, taking away his *********** (he loves it, but we only let him play maybe once a week), not being able to go out with his friends, taking favorite toys away...etc...aside from spanking we've done everything we can possibly do, including talking to him to try and make him understand why his behaviour is not appropriat. he doesn't care any more, time out's are a big game to him, he'll snikker and play...no matter how long he's left there (we started off with 7 minutes which worked great for a while). He's going downhill fast and i have no idea how to cope with him anymore. Any insight as to how to help him would be great....

flyfskm · 04-13-2002, 06:29 PM

hi there! i can't help you because i'm dealing with the EXACT same thing with my 6 year old daughter. she goes to the doctor on the 19th to discuss meds, but basically she is out of control, too. it really upsets me

. i'm just as interested in the responses you get as you are! i hope you get help soon! hang in there!!!

kim.

alwaysBhind · 04-13-2002, 08:07 PM

Hello! I have a 7 y.o. boy too. Not ADD tho. Still very hyper and noisey. To get him to follow house rules, I do use time-out. But I use at least 20 minutes. That 1 min. for each year of their age is crap. (time-out is less often now...) I also take away privledges. The use of VHS tapes (like Disney). Complete use of his TV. Very early bedtime....usually overly tired anyway! Extra practice of school work at kitchen table, which means much less PLAY TIME. If items are left around and not taken care of, I "confiscate" them! (like favorite clothes thrown in the floor, toys, gel pens, GI Joes, Legos, etc.) I have a special "under the bed" storage box in my room that has all the goodies I've taken in it. At the end of the month, he "gets" to BUY back the items at the price I deam necessary. He can use his "Good Samaritan Coupons" I make on the computer as 'cash' also to buy the stuff back. Even has made him more aware of the 'high cost of living'!!!! OH! I also have a 9 y.o. daughter....all this applies to both. Hope this gives you some help. One thing to remember, as a parent, one must watch over the little boogers WHILE they are 'doing the dicipline'. Example...If I completely leave my boy to do his 'extra school work' at the table alone....it would take a very long time. His frustration level is that of a 7 y.o. little boy. Period. I kinda stay close. Keep him on track. Make the punishment fit the crime........... all the way to COMPLETION. Yeah!

04-13-2002, 09:34 PM

HI! I know how you are feeling. My seven year old son is ADHD and he is medicated, but keep in mind even after he is on medication, it will not solve all of your problems. Alot of what they do is not their fault but that does not mean it does not drive you crazy.

Children with this problem have a hard time remembering that there are consequences to their actions because they are so impulsive. You have to teach him to think before he acts. I know it is hard but he needs to self monitor himself.

I am also a special education teacher and one of my professors in college was very involved in CHADD. It is a great organization that might help you deal with problems. They have a website. I would also suggest a book that I like called "Driven to Distraction". It helps you understand what it is like for these kids.

Your child is probably like mine and was so used to negative attention that he took whatever he could get. So I had to change my perspective on what he was doing. You might make a chart of things he is supposed to do everyday and if he does them, have a reward. It doesn't have to be big, it just changes his focus from negative to positive. At first don't make it a million things because they have trouble focusing and prioritizing.

I hope this helps. If you need any further advice or just need to talk, just let me know. I know it is sooooo hard to have to live with this problem. But it can get better.

ANGI

mlgable · 04-13-2002, 11:59 PM

YOu may need consider counseling for your children as I went through something similar only school related last year. My son has always been late with his homework and has been made to stay in for recess and often after lunch and what not because of his late work. Last year the special ed teacher was at her witts end because threatening him with a lunch time detention etc didn't make an impression on him. After not having had any recess time all along what was one more privilge being taken away to him? I told her I would speak to the doc about his meds but when I told the doc about him blowing off school etc. He told a change or increase in meds was not the answer. He said we should have him see a psychologist for help which is what we did. We were fortunate to get a wonderful doc who was very insightful regarding ADD and all it's problems. Had to post this to let you know that meds may not be your ultimate answer for behavior problems.