dealing with family with add - ADD / ADHD Message Board

kurlykate · 06-26-2003, 02:04 AM

my cousin lives with my grandmother and he suffers from add. I'm not sure if it's entirley true though. We were going home one day and he had smacked me in the face and he calmy explains to me " sometimes when im sad, i act mad, and when i miss you i pick on you because of my disease." I told him "well, if you are so aware of this self pity disease, then maybe you should do something about it." All he does is wallow in self pity and talk about how his disease is ruining his life. He has so much more than me. He has every sega, both ***********s all the nintendoes, but you can't say all he wants is love and attention, because thats all he ever gets. I get so aggrivated around him. How do i do things with him without getting frusterated with hi? what sre some things we can do together?

pgs · 06-26-2003, 06:35 AM

Do things with him, but when he is mean to you, tell him that disease or not, you will not be treated that way. Do not allow him to be mean to you.

mlgable · 06-26-2003, 08:51 AM

Remind him that ADD or not it is not an excuse for bad behvior and that his behavior is unacceptable and you won't tolerate him doing that to you any more. ADD in itself does not cause bad behavior and does not cause quite the problems your cousin is making it out to be. If he continues with the behavior despite your telling him to stop talk to your grandma about it. It sounds very much like your cousin could use some counseling if he hasn't had any. Good Luck.

smalltowngirlinOH · 06-26-2003, 09:06 AM

I'm sorry to hear that you're having such trouble with your cousin. I have to agree with mlgable on this one. My daughter had ADHD and even though she doesn't really understand the extent of it, she does the best she can. Although..kepp this in mind next time you feel upest with him.....with ADD/ADHD comes a certain level of control that they have to have for reasons unknown..and when they can't control themselves, they try to control the people or the situation around them. If he starts to get mean or hurtful, just walk away and tell him to come and find you when he can be nice. Then do it. He'll see that in order to play or be around you, he'll have to surrender some of his ways and learn to be around others without bossing them around. One other thing....don't pitty him. Your best bet is to ignore his cries od ADD and let him know that ADD or not, you deserve respect. Good luck !!