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Old 08-17-2011, 12:30 PM   #1
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Unhappy Trying to cope w/my husband's ADHD

Hi everyone,

I am new and I have a question for anyone. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD in college years ago but he never addressed it as suggested by his doctor. I think it has hurt our relationship over the last 10 years because I ended up leaving to live with my sister (hopefully temporary). It was getting too hostile for me. We are both in counceling now and he is being sent by his counselor to see a doctor to get re-eveluated for ADHD and medication.

My question is, "Can he also have SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) as well?" We aren't living together right now, and are working on getting back together. We visit each other as often as we can, as long as we are getting along. He seems to be SO angry at me all the time, and he has such a low tolerance to stimulas around him especially me. However, he can't stand the sound of my "voice" or any other sounds like throat clearing and breathing. How can this be overcome? I can't change these things and it is breaking my heart to be seperated from him. Do you think the doctor will be able to recognize this condition too? What do I do?

Lonely for my hubby

Last edited by ILoveBasenjis; 08-17-2011 at 12:36 PM.

 
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Old 08-17-2011, 02:10 PM   #2
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Re: Trying to cope w/my husband's ADHD

ILoveBasenjis,

To the best of my knowledge your husbands symptoms are not typical of ADHD. However, I believe low tolerance to stimulus is a symptom of Asperger Syndrome. It is not at all uncommon for those with Asperger to have ADHD too.

ADHD medication will improve Asperger symptoms such as low tolerance to stimulus.

Please be advised that I am shooting in the dark at another specific disorder.

I'm fairly certain from a layman's standpoint that other conditions (plus ADHD) are at work in your husband. He needs an overall psychiatric and psychological evaluation to pin point all the factors behind his abnormal behavior. Medical tests may be needed in addition to determine if organic illness exists. Brain tumors, for example, can radically affect a person's thoughts and emotions and present as bizarre behavior.

Look hard for other illnesses and disorders if your husband's current behavior is not typical for him and his history shows little evidence that he has always had a low stimulation tolerance.

Regards,
Bob

 
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Old 08-18-2011, 05:54 AM   #3
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Re: Trying to cope w/my husband's ADHD

Hi Bob,
I appreciate the imput. I have done so much research over the last two years and have found that my husband's overall behavior also match's someone with BPD. I was hoping he only had ADHD and not BPD which is a serious disorder. He has not been formally diagnosed with that but the sensory issues, "jekyll & hyde" behavior, and his rages (which I didn't list yesterday) suggest that too. I don't know how he expects me to alter my voice and breathing, plus other things, to make him happy. He strongly believes I should do this.

I'll keep searching,
Peace everyone

 
Old 08-18-2011, 07:39 AM   #4
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Re: Trying to cope w/my husband's ADHD

ILoveBasenjis,

Out of brotherly love for you, may I suggest changing your search criteria. The demands being made on you are typical of those of a cruel dictator. The dictator is playing on your devoted love for him. He knows he can torture you for as long as he likes. You are not going leave him.

Think about changing your search to "how can I get out from under this monster, move on and eventually find a man that deserves a woman of my caliber."

IMHO, it is there you will find your solution to the happy life you so richly deserve.

Bob

 
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Old 08-18-2011, 07:59 AM   #5
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Re: Trying to cope w/my husband's ADHD

Bob - You're not the only one who has said that to me. Well, I have been thinking about leaving. My family supports this too, and I don't have to hear it twice from a concerned stranger. Thank you.

 
Old 09-06-2011, 05:42 PM   #6
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Re: Trying to cope w/my husband's ADHD

Quote:
Originally Posted by ILoveBasenjis View Post
Hi everyone,

I am new and I have a question for anyone. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD in college years ago but he never addressed it as suggested by his doctor. I think it has hurt our relationship over the last 10 years because I ended up leaving to live with my sister (hopefully temporary). It was getting too hostile for me. We are both in counceling now and he is being sent by his counselor to see a doctor to get re-eveluated for ADHD and medication.

My question is, "Can he also have SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) as well?" We aren't living together right now, and are working on getting back together. We visit each other as often as we can, as long as we are getting along. He seems to be SO angry at me all the time, and he has such a low tolerance to stimulas around him especially me. However, he can't stand the sound of my "voice" or any other sounds like throat clearing and breathing. How can this be overcome? I can't change these things and it is breaking my heart to be seperated from him. Do you think the doctor will be able to recognize this condition too? What do I do?

Lonely for my hubby
I just finished reading a book: Is It You, Me, or Adult ADD by Gina Pera. And she says -- yes, ADHD can include sensory issues.

I know the treatments for the physical aspects of sensory issues -- my son had Sensory Integrative Dysfunction when he was a munchkin. He received kiddy occupational therapy and overcame those problems. I have no clue how to overcome the issues with throating clearing or breathing.

It may be up to you to talk to the doctor. Many times, doctors will ask family members for input when it comes to ADHD.

But at least he's gone to counseling. I hope such is successful. My husband will not do counseling. He's been unemployed for almost two years with a sporadic job history prior to that.

 
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Old 09-07-2011, 06:48 AM   #7
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Re: Trying to cope w/my husband's ADHD

Specialedteach: Thanks for the imput. It felt like I was going crazy. I'm very happy to know it isn't me.

 
Old 09-27-2011, 05:55 AM   #8
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Re: Trying to cope w/my husband's ADHD

Hi: There was a recent article in the NY Times inre to this noise affliction. It's called Misophonia. Hope this helps.

Last edited by moderator2; 09-27-2011 at 06:03 AM. Reason: please do not post a commercial website, for any reason.

 
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