I am very concerned for you. The feeling I'm getting from your posts is that your current state is frighteningly similar to the condition I was in 8, 9 years back. If so, you are at a critical junction. The medical decisions you make in the next few months will determine whether you become super woman or an emotional, physical, spiritual and psychological disaster area.
How do I know what I know? Why am I reasonably certain that my prognosis of your health and its consequences without medical intervention is fairly accurate?
Been there. Done that. I am forecasting your future by writing my history.
Your fears are very much of the rational type. Your job performance will continue to fall and you WILL lose your job if you do not get medical help NOW. Likely, loss of your job will move your serious depression symptoms up to totaling disabling. Your ability to function in all of life's significant facets will likely go to zilch.
Please consider directing your static anxiety energy to dynamically implementing the following steps.
1. Become the worst pest New Zealand doctors have ever experienced. Pester your GP mercilessly. She will quickly write your referral to get relief for herself.
2. Good psychiatrists around these parts are typically booked solid for four to six months. Start pestering the referred doctor for an appointment to fill his next cancellation opening if he or she is booked further out than two weeks.
3. You'll need an ADHD coach to act as your personal training assistant for some time after you initiate prescribed medication. No need to pester up an coach at this time. No reason you can't pester for fun.
More later. Sidebar:
JaneWhite, the word you used "training / trainer" by far conveys the most accurate definition for the psychological services that will help most. The term ADHD "coach" implies services of much less intensity than "trainer." Professional ADHD coaches are in fact ADHD rehab personal training assistants. Your science background shows up in the accuracy of your posts. Keep it up girl. I appreciate how consistently helpful you are.