husband with ADD -- what to do? - ADD / ADHD Message Board

jinglebts · 06-27-2003, 12:48 PM

my husband (he's 56!!!!) has recently been diagnosed with ADD (he's had it all his life, and managed to get by so far), and i'm having trouble dealing with it ... i have health problems myself, but i want to know: how does a person with ADD feel? what are some good medications? he's going to see a psychologist who specialises in this, but in the meantime, what can i do? i feel like he doesn't love me!

i can't get out, so help groups are out for me ...

anything you can tell me would be appreciated ...

mlgable · 06-27-2003, 11:35 PM

You can join CHADD online. Look up CHADD via a search and see what you think. As for your husband he shouldn't feel or act any different now than he has all along. The biggest thing with ADD is that if you were reading a page or doing a math problem and something distracts you when you come back to that page or math problem you quite literally don't have a clue where you were and need to start all over again. That is why ADD people have a hard time getting anything done as they don't have a clue what they were doing before they got distracted.

jamesgm · 06-29-2003, 08:17 PM

I am 62 yers old and was diagnosed with ADD 5 years ago.I always knew something was wrong as I could not concentrate well.

------------------

help · 06-29-2003, 09:32 PM

jinglebts,

That's exactly how my dad acts and he is the same age. He has a hard time expressing emotions or act like he even cares, but we knew deep down that he does care and mean well, he just had a lot of trouble showing it. It caused my parents to separate for a while and when this happened my dad was completely devestated, he didn't see the break-up coming because he was unable to pay attention (before he knew he had ADHD) to the way the relationship had been heading. My mom was miserable and couldn't take it anymore as he thought everything in the family was fine and that she couldn't be happier...He was very wrong, and his symptoms were classic AD/HD symptoms.

He just didn't "get the clue" or understand how inappropriate or "on cloud 9" he acts a lot of times. It not only occured at home, but also at his work. He's an engineer and luckily what he does hardly anyone can do, so he is a huge asset to them, which I'm sure this is the only reason he hasn't gotten fired or laid off after this long.

There are many more symptoms he has, but once he was diagnosed and treated his emotions were much more available. He also is much more aware on how other people feel in situations, both in the family and at work because he can 'see' what is happening around him and the way everyone else percieves it.

If your husband does have AD/HD and get treated it may change yours and his entire life.

[This message has been edited by help (edited 06-29-2003).]

help · 06-29-2003, 09:39 PM

Try fish oil and exercise and ask your psychiatrist about medications such as ritalin/concerta, adderall/adderall XR, dexadrine and Strattera and see what he says is best. Many ADDers 'feel' very different. I constantly have a cloudy-headed "cloud nine" feeling and chronically daydreaming as a result of that. Read the book Healing ADD by Dr. Daniel Amen, from what I remember there are many cases of older adults getting help for his condition, their symptoms and the dramatic 180 deg life turn after they began treating it.