Could my son have ADD? - ADD / ADHD Message Board

babyinmybelly · 07-02-2003, 04:18 PM

I am new to this board I hope someone can help!

My oldest son, Jeremy, is 6. He just finished kindergarten and was moved up to 1st grade. Here's my dilema: Jeremy started to talk sentences before he was 1. He was always curious about everything. Constantly asking questions, some of which I'd have to say "honey, I just don't know". He has always loved to read and be read to. I never questioned if he had ADD or not until he started school. He was SO excited to be a "big boy" and go to school. The first week his teacher told me he was quite a character. And he loved school for about the first 3 months. After that it was a pain to get him out of bed (he has his own alarm and he would get up and in the shower every morning at 6:30 w/no probs. but suddenly he'd started turning it off after we put him to bed!)His teacher began telling me how he wasn't paying attention or how she had to assist in helping him finish his work (these same little comments also came home on his papers). She seemed to me to have very little patience for him,or any of the other students for that matter. I told her I thought maybe he needed a little more individual time. She didn't like that to much.
Then one day she told me she took out her book on ADD. I was shocked. Jeremy have ADD? It had never occured to me. We'd known a boy Jeremy's age who was off the hook and finally found to have ADD and ODD. "Jeremy was/is nothing like that" I kept telling myself. But I took him to be tested.

Although he is content to play for hours alone, and sit and read, or just talk (talked my poor grandfathers ear off at Christmas one yr for 3 hours!)since he was having trouble paying attention at school the doc was ready to put him on meds. But I wasn't. I began to think it was a disapline problem. I tried it all. He slowly began to do better and at the end of the year his teacher said he made great improvment and she was passing him onto 1st grade. I felt great relief.

But since he started school we've had more behavioral problems at home. He won't listen, or do what we ask until we've asked him 4-5 times. His dad gets so upset b/c he'll call him to come in the house or something and Jeremy will ignore him, until he's ready it seems. He really has a "I'll do it when I'm ready" aditude. All since school. Another problem is it has begun to rub off on his 4yr old brother! It's very frustrating and stressful. I find myself yelling a lot and I hate it!
I should add that we are a military family. My husband has never been deployed from us longer than a week in the field. We are currently stationed on Oahu. A lot of the teachers have heavy accents, and I thought that could of been one of the problems. (We also had his hearing tested, it's perfect)

We decided to put him in summer school to try and keep him focused, but I would pick him up and he'd tell me his teacher was yelling at him b/c he did something wrong. Or that he was afraid to raise his hand. To top it off he said she told him his work was sloopy. Maybe I'm wrong but what kind of teacher does that?! Another mom told me that she keeps him seperated from the rest of the class b/c he "won't" work while sitting with the others. One day she said he was outside! But yet she hasn't said anything to me. But everyday when I pick him up he's at his table. If he was such a handful why not tell me about it? And could these be signs of ADD?

I know this has gotten long. I just wanted to offer as much info as I could. I just don't know what to do at home or school. I know he has potential to do really well in school and I want him to have the best opportunites later in life. He is a great kid. Energetic but hey he's 6!

Thanks ahead of time for feed back! And for reading this!

------------------
Mommy to: Jeremy 6,Jacob 4,Justin 8months.
"Thumper" Est. Birthday Dec.25!!!

Moza · 07-02-2003, 09:51 PM

Hello! Your DS sounds somewhat like my 5yo ds. We did the Add runaround for the last several months, many sleepless nights for me worrying because of what his preschool teacher told me she suspected ADD. I had him eveluated and after getting the same information from me 3 times in a 3 hour office visit the dr said she suspected ADD as well - not that she spent barely any of that time talking to my ds - only asking if he "EVER" did anything impulsive or "EVER" was hard to manage while shopping, etc. URGH! Luckily she wants to delay official labeling until after she gets back forms from his new teacher - which she will never get as I am never going back thru that! I recently read the book "Ritilan is Not the Answer" and I am so happy to have found it because it was so reaffirming to what I believed and because of the firmer discipline described in the book (No yelling or spanking, etc) my ds has made major leaps in just the last week!!! My ds is very bright - already reading at a reading level of one when he hasn't started Kindy yet, always has a lot of questions, always wants to talk things out, very imaginative and inventive, etc. We never went thru terrible 2s or 3s because I was always giving him choices, removing things before they were a problem, etc. He was a dream child so when the preschool teacher told me that I was FLOORED! Said he couldn't keep on task and was taking too much one on one time. I was paying good to send him to a privite preschool only to have the teacher complain about her time - URGH Again! Anyhow to me it sounds like your ds is definately not ADD and is probably gifted and is board stiff with the worksheets, etc. There is no motivation for him to do them. If I were you I would stop the yelling and simply but firmly lay down the laws and state the consequences if the laws arn't followed. I send you big hugs because I believe I understand and share your situations - if you don't want to medicate then don't let anyone talk you into it - more good links at ablechild.com on that. We have chosen not to medicate but to let our child start using his own mind more without our help and he's actually doing it - somehow when faced with remembering to do something or go to timeout or loose a favorite toy his memory has greatly improved! Please get the book as I know it explains it better than me - I just want you to know you're not alone. Moza

Moza · 07-02-2003, 10:04 PM

I just had to post more because I reread the bottem of your post on his current teacher - that does not sound good to me. I would definately confront her and ask about your ds's performance, I talk with my ds's teacher (he's in prekindy experience half days, a new program here) everyday after school for just a couple of minutes. If you do not get a good vibe from her or feel that she doesn't have adequit (spelling) abilities to deal with your ds then don't hesitate to change schools or programs. I know that my ds will have to have a different teacher in the fall but I have met both of the possibilities and both seem good and highly recommened by neighbor families but I also have the backup plan that if things get too rough I can homeschool. However from what I'm seeing from his summer school experience which is definately different than his preschool I think he will do a good job of adapting to the new school. The thing his teacher now thinks is so wierd - or strange - is how come he can read her a good book or count to 100 without missing a number but colors those preprinted identical worksheets the WORST in the class??? He can color better if it is something he really wants to work on like a birthday card for Dad, etc. but otherwise he does a few big scribbles and he is ready to do something else - it doen't interest him and he doesn't see any value in it! I think I'll just have to grin and get by that until they are no longer graded on coloring in the lines - LOL. Moza

mlgable · 07-02-2003, 10:59 PM

To Moza what kind of testing did they do on your child to test for ADD? If proper testing wasn't done I would ask for another referal to a clinic that does specific testing for ADD. As to the original poster I get the impression that it is not your child that is having the problems but his teachers. I went through something similar with my son's third grade teacher. I saw first hand why he never knew what he was supposed to do for homework etc when I supervised a field trip one day. When we got back she told everyone not to forget to do the homework assignment written on the board and as she was saying those words she was erasing it. My son also NEVER had any recesses as he was always made to stay in to finish assignments etc. Finally his physical therapist point blank told her she wanted him out for recess to work on his motor skills playing on the playground. That year is the one that his special ed teacher he saw a few times a week wondered if we had considered ADD. In your case though it almost sounds like the teacher is more the problem than your son. To satisfy the teacher and your own curiousity have your son tested but be sure it is a throrough and complete testing for ADD. Once you have that done show the teacher your copy of his test results and then talk to her about your son and the things you have heard etc and see if you can't reach some sort of happy medium with her. You didn't state if you work or not but if you had time you may want to consider volunteering some times to see what goes on in the classroom or chaparone a field trip if they do those etc. That would give you good feel of how the teacher is with students the same way I found out about my son's teacher I mentioned.

Moza · 07-03-2003, 08:30 AM

I somewhat disagree about going ahead and having him tested because drs these days seem so willing to diagnose ADD so easily. There is NO TEST! They have you fill out questionaires like the connor's etc. That is why the medical community and public is at such a war with each other because there are such varied opinions and ideas on this problem and there are no solid answers. If I were you I would confront the teacher and definately wait until he gets going with the new teacher this fall before thinking there is really a problem. Otherwise make sure your discipline at home is firm and consistent. Don't get that "label" for your son until your sure you're ready because it will have to stay with him the rest of his life!! Big Hugs - Moza