I have a 12 year old child who was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 5. After all these years we are noticing that he has no motivation to do anything that involes any effort. He loves soccer and wants to play but he is not aggressive and waits for the ball to come to him. He does things half assed all the time. Now he has been lying and losing friends over it. I am so concerned about this. How do you get a kid to be self motivating? How do you get them to realize and own up to a lie if they tell one? He screams he hates his life when he gets caught and this breaks my heart. I am new to this message board and hope I can find some help here. Thank you in advance.
You described my daughter to a "t." She is 14, and has gone from the toddler/preschooler/young child who had to be constantly "toned down" to a lazy, lying, unmotivated slug. My daughter is an extremely talented swimmer...could easily be nationally ranked....but whenever she feels the sensation of "muscle fatigue" she slows down or quits outright. It's the same with homework, maintaining friendships, chores, etc. Heck, until recently she was even a failure at wiping her butt!
Is your child on meds? Mine is, and recently she's begun seeing a psychotherapist to work on social/emotional issues and I'm beginning to see some glimpses of the "old" child I once had. Adolescence is tough, and the ADHD, etc just makes things worse and at least in my case, I think my child "shut down."
Hope this helps a little. You aren't alone!
The Following User Says Thank You to Brocallie For This Useful Post: Shelmo08210 (09-20-2011)
OMG!!!!!!! That is exactly like my son. I am so concerned because being like this will get him no where in life. He is on meds and has been since age 5. He has always been "lazy" and half does things just to get through them. I am beginning to think it is d*****atley due to the ADHD. I have a meeting with his Dr. in October and I am going to talk to him about this. Thanks for sharing! I feel better.
Believe it or not, ADHD is fundamentally a disorder of motivation. The part of the brain that deals with delayed gratification, doing things you don't want to do now for benefit later, is immature in people with ADHD.
Plus, a lot of things just are harder for us. Staying focused is a major effort, not an everyday effort. Doesn't mean we're excused from trying, just that we might need more time.
And of course, some of it is just adolescence. The lying is also something that you sometimes see with ADHD kids. Even if they know they'll get caught eventually, they'd rather lie and temporarily delay punishment!
Definitely talk to your child's doctor. Be patient, it'll take time, but do not allow deliberate bad behavior such as lying to slide without punishment.
The Following User Says Thank You to janewhite1 For This Useful Post: Shelmo08210 (09-20-2011)
We have always treated him like a "normal" child. If he makes bad choices, it results in bad consequences. The ADHD is not used as a crutch. We do not let him slide on anything but it is sometimes hard to decide if it is the ADHD or adolesence when things happen. I appreciate your imput and will try to remember that when things arise.
Hi all, sorry to hijack the thread slightly but is lying a common problem with ADHD children? i've got a 6yr old who is going through a real phase of this at the moment. No formal diagnosis for adhd yet but we are about halfway through the waiting list for assessment.
I think it is. It's the impulsiveness, and they try to think of the "fastest way" out of a situation. Just yesterday my daughter lied and lied during one three minute conversation, even though she KNEW I'd find out the truth. I've found that she seems relieved when she's caught, however, now that she's older (14). I'm hoping that soon she will begin omitting the lies and just cut to the chase...it's easier on all of us for sure!
hello, Im currently 20 and Suffer from ADHD myself. i was diagnosed at the age of 5 also and i just want to say, It does get better, it really does take time, Especially for someone who wasn't prescribed medication to deal with the Effects temporarily.
being lazy about something or half arsed attitude for me meant i was bored of the activity or just plain wasn't interested. I was a compulsive lier, a day wouldnt pass when i didnt lie, and mine werent small lies, lies such as being given 3 needles in school, stealing money and lying about it.. But.. As-soon as i finished School, its like... i just stoped with it all, i got a job, Even job hoped to keep myself doing something new. And while it may not be much help, My honest oppinion is, Give him time, just make sure you give him pleanty of love and attention, It will eventually pass. Never completely.. but it does get better, I promise!