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addventurous 10-16-2011 06:16 PM

ADHD frustration
 
I feel very frustrated. I've answered brief questionnaires, and my therapist and my family doctor both agree I have mild to moderate ADHD symptoms. I'm definitely not hyperactive, but I guess they are referring to the innatentive form. I look at the symptoms, and I'm just not sure. I and other professionals have diagnosed me with things my whole life depression, sexual addiction, and social anxiety. Is this just another thing to add to the list? Here's what I can tell you:
[LIST][*]I am very easily distracted by and have a tendency to "zone out" on television.[*]I have a very hard time making myself do things like trim my shrubbery, mow the lawn, clean up my very messy office, and exercise.[*]I feel like I'm often looking for things because my house is so disorganized.[*]When I leave my desk for lunch or to go home I sometimes have to go back one or two times to get things I've forgotten.[*]I have no energy at the end of the day when I get home. I have to really push myself to take care of my preschooler (feed her, give her a bath, put her to bed, etc.)[*]At work I sometimes have a very hard time motivating myself to do anything, and I'm always and forever frustrated with my job no matter who my employer is.[*]I'm constantly yawning in the afternoons, and I feel bad because I don't want people to take it personally.[*]I have no idea how other people have the energy or the time to do the things they do like watch their 401(k), keep up with professional sports, work in their yard, etc.[/LIST]
I got a prescription for Ritalin about 6 weeks ago. I tried it for 2 weeks, and although it seemed to give me a little extra kick it also felt like it very quickly dropped me off a cliff after each dose. I then tried Adderall. My first dosage was 10 mg in the morning and 10 mg in the afternoon. The first 2-3 days were amazing, but the effectiveness seemed to start waning after that. I checked with my doctor and increased my dosage to 20 mg twice a day. That, too, seemed to work for a while. On that same dosage now, however, it's like I'm taking Ritalin. I feel worse after I take a dose than before. It seems to last about 90 minutes in my system, and that's it.

Here's what I can tell you about how I felt when Adderall worked. I felt like my mind was finally working as it never had before. I finally felt like what it was like to go to work and just work without having so much thought. It's like my mind was brought out of a fog into clear blue skies, and I was able to really see things. And I had energy at night! I didn't have to force myself to do things. I just did them, and it was great! I started cleaning up my office instead of sitting around. I cleaned up the dishes without having to put a whip to myself to do it. I was alive.

Now I feel very frustrated. How is it that my body gets so tolerant of these medications so quickly, and what am I to do from here? I don't have the answers to that. Heck, I still don't know if I truly believe I have ADHD. I always did very well in school, but I was not much of a social person. Still I never really struggled academically. I have always been a low energy, low motivation type of person even as a kid. I was happy to sit around while others my age wanted to get out and do things.

If anyone has any input I'd be glad to hear it. After having had ADHD medication that I feel like really made a difference in my life, having it no longer work is very frustrating to me and is causing me to feel quite depressed and angry.

Aaron

iluv 10-17-2011 08:50 PM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
I dont think any of us can answer your questions. I do believe nobody has the exact same ADHD (ADD) as another. Truth is there are more medications available now even some that can be taken along with your Adderall. Please make another appointment with your doctor, I believe together a regiment can be found.

ahcourtney 10-18-2011 02:40 AM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
You sound kind of like the male version of me. It sucks. I am the same way with my son and hate it!! I shouldn't have to force myself to take care of him. but I used to take adderall and the same happened with me. I got to where I could take 6 and not feel a thing. It made me so mad. I would just talk to your doctor about it. They told me they have to raise & lower the dosage to figure out what's best. i just kept taking more & more because I didn't want to go back a 3rd time. I was embarrassed. but that was a dumb decision on my part. I hope they find a solution for you :)

addventurous 10-18-2011 06:16 AM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
@ahcourtney: I think I'm doing better now. Even though my therapist had suggested I look into ADHD meds he never gave me a lot of direction regarding what the meds were supposed to do. I was looking for that euphoric feeling that comes when you first start Adderall. That was getting less and less, but in reality it is a side effect that will eventually go away.
Aaron

janewhite1 10-18-2011 07:19 PM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
Your problems do sound a lot like inattentive type ADHD.

Currently I'm not on meds, but when I was, the effect was subtle. They didn't make me feel euphoric and they didn't turn me into somebody else. I was just Jane having a particularly productive, focused day.

One problem with the medications is that they can interfere with sleep. And if you are sleep deprived, they become much less effective! Have you been sleeping properly?

You might try taking them just during the week, or even just a few days a month, when you really need to focus.

saraah 10-20-2011 03:46 PM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
Im really frustrated with my ADHD and I can really relate to your problems. I hope you can find some new med that will work for you soon. I feel hopeless but i hope i will find a cure one day.

addventurous 10-25-2011 07:13 AM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
Things finally started settling down for me early last week. I found a helpful web site which I'm not allowed to mention here, but it has provided a lot of guidance and direction in dosage, side effects, etc. I am doing this through my regular doctor and not a psychiatrist, so to me it was very helpful.

I went back to Adderall 15 mg twice a day. I could tell a big difference in my thinking. It didn't just make me more productive, it made me feel "normal". I didn't have this fog of thought bogging me down. I just went to work, did my job, and came home. I felt like I could see things much more clearly. Almost right from the start it gave me a headache every day. I tried all I could, but nothing took the headaches away so I'm off today to talk to my doctor about Vyvanse.

It's really hard to find something that works and changes my life so much for the better only to find that the side effects won't allow me to continue taking it. Hence once again I post this under the ADHD frustration topic. :dizzy: I hope I can find something that works for me long term, and I wish the same for everyone else who struggles with this condition.

Aaron :)

LessStress38 10-26-2011 06:47 AM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
too bad about headaches...eh..Let me know how it goes...

addventurous 10-26-2011 08:25 AM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
[QUOTE=stressless37;4868126]too bad about headaches...eh..Let me know how it goes...[/QUOTE]

Thanks stressless37. Coming off the Adderall was challenging yesterday. I had a very hard time just getting myself to come into work because of lack of motivation, but I finally did. I had a pretty bad headache yesterday afternoon even though I didn't take Adderall all day. This morning I have a vague sense of a slight headache but nothing big at all.

I got my Vyvanse prescription late yesterday. I decided to hold off on starting it until my headaches went completely away. The real test will be this afternoon. No headaches please! :angel:

Aaron

LessStress38 10-28-2011 06:15 AM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
how's it going?

addventurous 10-28-2011 08:23 AM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
Thanks for asking stressless. Yesterday was good. Vyvanse gives me focus without the euphoric highs of Adderall although I kind of miss those. ;) As for headaches, I seem to get them when I'm coming down off stimulant medication. With Adderall that was in the early afternoon and evenings. Unfortunately I did get a headache last night around 7:00, exactly 12 hours after I took my morning Vyvanse dose. That was my come down period and what clued me in to what might be causing my headaches.

I'm REALLY hoping the Vyvanse headaches are a short-term thing that my body will adapt to. I've read other posts on the internet about the headaches going away after a week or two. If not I will probably be looking elsewhere. My wife would rather me try a natural alternative, and I told her I would go down that road if Vyvanse doesn't work. I don't have a lot of confidence in natural remedies for ADHD, but I'm willing to give it a try. It can't hurt. One thing's for sure: my life with meds is completely different than my life without. I don't know how I did it for 40 years without.

How are things with you?

LessStress38 10-28-2011 12:53 PM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
Yeah that's the things with meds..side effects..do they out weigh the benefits?...how much do they interfere with your daily living?...ugh..apparently you have benefited almost right away though. I remember suffering through different side effects while waiting for a daily pain preventative to work (for headaches)...ugh.. eventually the med worked, but the meantime it was so difficult! So, hang in there I guess, see if this is your thing. I have read in another post that this is a more quality drug.( *see ADDPROGRAMMER's postings recently(October sometime,) mentions Vyvanse.)

I have an appointment on Monday with a pdoc. I guess she will let me know if I am ADD or not. I've just been struggling with mundane things I need to get done. I'm not good at being my own boss...LOL Yeah, I'm a bit inattentive, easily distracted...feels like it's worse than ever. I used to say that I'm an expert multi-tasker! Wonderwoman...but I think I'm stuck..not sure multi-tasking is the way to go anymore...lol

Anyways, hope the headaches don't hangaround....sometimes with meds the side effects do taper off. I was reading up about ADD to and a book recommends a high protien low carb diet and daily exercise routine (20-30 cardio ) for most ADD people. The only exception was if you were OCD also, then eat more carbs.

LessStress38 11-02-2011 09:21 AM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
are you still getting headaches?

kmcconnell 11-02-2011 09:42 AM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
Have you considered talking to your doctor about depression? Lack of energy and motivation seems to be the common denominator in your symptom list, and those aren't necessarily an indicator of ADD/ADHD. You might get more benefit out of an anti-depressant. It's worth discussing with your doc.

addventurous 11-04-2011 09:01 AM

Re: ADHD frustration
 
Hi kmcconnell,
Been there, done that. Antidepressants have done very little for me in the past. Adderall makes a real difference in my life. I'm still up in the air on the headaches. I tried Vyvanse for about a week. It gave me headaches, but I seemed to work past them only to find out that it didn't really give me the focus that Adderall did. Sure, I could have increased my dosage (30 mg per day) with another costly prescription, but I had some Adderall left over and am giving it another go to see if I can get past the headaches and now the drug shortage. I've been back on Adderall IR for two days. The first day was headache free, but yesterday I got a fairly bad one. We'll see how today goes.

Aaron


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