In highschool I never really tried until I got to grade 12 where I put a lot of effort and did a complete 180 degree in my life. I and pulled of some decent grades to land me in a university. A few months into UNI I was introduced to Adderall and started taking them- legally, I have a prescription to it- And I really liked it so began to use it to study and on days I have something planned out and that needs to be done and I use it on these occasions.- My usage varies from week to week its, not consistent. I'm not addicted to it at all either.
I've been noticing something very strange with me... I have this weird habit of not remembering something at the moments its really needed, like for example, I was reading a book about Hinduism and we were on a topic of religion and I couldn't recall the piece of information I read.. even though I So vividly remembering reading it, taking extra time to re-read it because I found it so fascinating..But i just couldn't recall it...This happens way to often to be considered normal..It makes me feel so stupid but I'm not stupid I know it and my grades prove it- (to whatever the extent your university GPA counts as proof)
I don't know why this is.. could it be the adderal? I'm thinking I should stop taking it because it seems to have dulled my personality especially in social situations.
First post here, and I think you (along with many others) have managed to put my thoughts to writing for me.
I had a DifEq exam this morning, for which I studied extensively. I got to the exam, and there were two properties of a laplace transforms I *know* for a fact I studied, and I *know* for a fact I could recall from memory. But, I couldn't recall them from memory... (or could I? Guess I'll find out.)
It's not just studying and taking exams though, it's also much more mundane things than that. As I've seen many people post, sometimes when I'm on my Adderall (which, by the way I take a 20mg XR once each day when i wake up along with a 150mg Wellbutrin to aid in the 'crash' and make it feel like it lasts all day) I'll be in mid sentence, and without even realize that 6 words down the line I don't know what to say, I get there and have no idea what I'm talking about. But it's worse than that, sure the Adderall helps me focus, I can listen attentively to people now, it's great! However, sometimes after looking in someone's eyes while they speak I still have no idea what they said by the time they get to "...but what are your thoughts on that?"
Sounds like we're a lot alike, though. Not sure how old you are now / what year in college, but I'm 20 and a 3rd year Math Major. When I was in high school, I never felt like I had to do much to get A's. All my homework was done during class, I rarely had to do anything outside of school. When I got to RIT however (started to notice this in APs as well) I had no idea what to do to succeed, since the classes were actually difficult and couldn't appear in my mind do to logic and common sense. So, like you, I had to turn my life around (we'll skip some in here, it took me a year longer than you)
Since the beginning of September I have taken my meds every day without fail. (yay!) I have definitely noticed a difference in motivation (wellbutrin) and focus in class (adderall), but like you I'm starting to wonder if there are other things going on also. The obvious lack of hunger is plenty... I'm not sure if taking the adderall is really worth the other side affects piled on top.
Here are what I've been noticing about myself, if you say "me too!" to any of them, let me know and I'll elaborate, maybe we can help each other.
Anyway... whether it's the adderall that is doing all this is plenty up in the air, but all of the below I've managed to link to it in some way.
-Memory loss (not long term, just new stuff that I try to commit to memory. I can pump out mad work, but retention can lack)
-Mood Swings (little things, sometimes i don't even know what, can send me into a temporary depression, until I manage to get myself out by reading, writing, or the best possible scenario of laughing)
-Loss of Appetite (duh)
-ironically, i can't remember the other couple things i was freaking out about an hour ago, ill post back if you found this helpful.
Hopefully I didn't steal any of your thunder, I think there's a chance that I can get some help from trying to help you, there's still a TON for me to learn about myself.
Digression/Refocus/Digression/Re-Refocus is now over... for now...
In terms of the similar effects you mentions, side effects i should say rather, are very similar ..
The main concern I have is with the memory and rentention...
It seems that I can regurgitate information out for an exam after studying straight for 8 hours the night before but in terms of retention and being able to recall the information when need, I seem to be clueless( most of the time)
also, when I read an article or a book magazine or whatever it may be, I find it difficult to remember specific pieces of information that I found interesting... I really hate this feeling of not being able to recall it when I so vividly remember re-reading it etc...
it just makes me feel so stupid sometimes and I know Im not stupid..