I started Strattera on Saturday, and today I notice that I am in a very negative state of mind this morning. I'm very judgmental of the people I work with and not wanting to work at all today since I work with a bunch of morons who don't care about things. Yesterday was nothing like today.
I never felt like this on the other medications I took for ADHD (Adderall, Ritalin, Vyvanse - stimulants), but they all gave me bad migraine headaches. Sure, I've had my very negative times in my life, but I haven't been in an "everyone and everything can go to hell" mood in a long time. That's what I feel like today after taking Strattera this morning, and I certainly don't like it.
If this is what Strattera does to me I'll be off it very, very soon. I'll give it a week and try yet another medication if I have to, or I'll just live the rest of my life with having to do my best to force myself to do anything and everything. I'm sick and tired of dealing with ADHD medications, and I'm sick and tired of dealing with ADHD itself. My wife thinks I don't have it anyway, and she's completely against psych meds of any type.
Thanks for letting me vent. Life sucks today, but thank God it's just today.
I don't know if I can give this med a month. I'm not sure if I or my wife can stand it that long if this kind of negativity keeps up. I'll do what I can, but it just sucks really.
What is really depressing for me is to have tried three different meds that seemed to work for a while only to be plagued with migraines by each and every one. I finally felt what it was like to be, as I describe it, free of my own mind. I didn't feel that at all today. In fact it felt like my mind was in complete control and still is as I type this.
I'm not using a psychiatrist to do all of this. I'm going through my regular doctor which could be a mistake. I'd love to see the look on my wife's face if I told her I'm going to go see a psychiatrist. She's already sick and tired of me trying to figure out what's wrong with me for the last 10 years. In her mind I just need to learn to accept myself as I am, that there's nothing wrong with me, that I'm just like everyone else, and get on with life. Here's what I feel like my wife is constantly saying to me (though she never comes right out and says it like this):
"There's nothing really wrong with you. You just think you there's something wrong, and if you had any sense whatsoever you'd stop all this psycho 'there's something wrong with me' ******** and get on with your life. I don't know why you keep doing this to yourself and us when it's all just in your head. I can't handle this. How long are you going to keep up this ****?"
How's that for a self-esteem killer? To her I must be too dumb and stupid to stop and just live life as I am. Just shut up and suffer through it. I've lived with mild to moderate ADHD my entire life, and I've struggled my entire life. I'm tired of struggling with myself. All I want is to live. I know somewhat how that feels now, and I want more. Can I find it? We'll see.
I know you're right, and I'll give it some thought. I've pretty much decided that the Strattera is a no-go starting right now. It's only been three days, but I can't believe how absolutely horrible my mood has been today and how it's affecting me and all those around me. I've not been in such a terrible mood in a long time. It's just not worth it with the holidays coming up. I've got to take a break. My wife needs a break, too. Maybe I'll pick things up after the holidays. In that time I'll do some research and find an ADD specialist around here. I'll also do some more reading and research on it. Lofty plans for someone who finds it hard to do much of anything, but I'll try.
Thanks Christine. I'm pretty jazzed about it too. The first place I called wanted to run a battery of tests on me. They said that my insurance would cover it only if the tests resulted in me having ADHD along with something else like depression. If it came back just ADHD then it would cost me between $500 and $700 out of pocket. No thanks! This place seems much better. I'll definitely keep you all in the loop.
Glad to hear! I learned neurologist deal with headaches, but I didn't know they did ADD stuff. This ADD knowledge is new to me as well. It makes sense. That appointment should be just the thing to get you some answers.
That's crazy about the insurance charging you more if you are healthier? How much sense does that make?
I wonder if you will have any tests with this doc though? like scans or anything? probably not. you don't have any headaches now right?
Last edited by LessStress38; 12-02-2011 at 05:12 AM.
No headaches now if I don't take meds. I took a 5 mg dose of Adderall in the morning and afternoon last Saturday and got a slight headache that evening. It helped during the day a little. I took another 5 mg dose yesterday morning and didn't feel any benefit. All I got from it was a fairly bad headache last night. I'll be glad to be dealing with someone who hopefully understands these side effects better.
From speaking with the scheduling person on the phone I'll have an initial consultation with the neurologist. After that he will determine if he thinks more testing is required. This could actually work out well. When I was a little kid I used to get really bad migraines, but very rarely any more thank God. (I remember Mom taking me to some place where they put wires all over my head and took readings. I'm not sure how long I laid there because I feel asleep.) Maybe my stimulant headaches and my rare migraine headaches play in to each other someway.
How are your meds going? Last I recall you were not getting as much benefit from Ritalin and were going to discuss with your doctor on Monday. How did that go?
Trying Adderall 5mg now.
not sure if it'll stick.
seems every other day is ok.
going to skip tomorrow's dose.
maybe try every other day?
afraid of moody side affects ugh
emailed my doc on Thursday.
Today is pretty good though
Thanks for asking.
enjoy your weekend!