HERE WE GO AGAIN!!! - ADD / ADHD Message Board

Charmed · 09-04-2003, 08:20 AM

Yes, I'm shouting! I'm so exasperated! Two years ago we had our son tested for ADHD and relented (was talked into) to medicating him (Adderall). That was the biggest mistake! He suffered horrible side effects. Our family physician took him off the meds and contacted the Psych. Dr. who had prescribed the Adderall and told him that the side effects were just too severe for our son to continue taking it. The Psych. Dr. tried to talk us into trying a different med. We said absolutely not and that was the last time we saw the Psych. Dr. Our family phsyician has been great about working with us. Last year our son's school teacher drove us nuts! She called us every single week complaining about our son. What she didn't do was handle the problem in her class room. (Her complaint - he talked too much). We grew so frustrated with her that we eventually had to meet with the principle and tell her of the teacher's harrassing behavior. Surprisingly, the principle was extremly understanding. She said that if my son's behavior was bad that she (the principle) should be aware of it and she had never even met my son. I'm digressing, but I wanted to give you some history. This year my son's teachers have been wonderful. They say he is very well behaved and he doesn't talk any more than the next child in their class rooms. He is having a problem with Math, but that isn't an ADD issue. We recently took him to a Learning Center for tutoring in Math and I am boiling mad! The first thing the lady asked us was "Has he been tested for ADD!" Why is it that every time a child has the least bit of trouble, teachers want to blame it on ADD? I was quite furious (still am - can ya tell?). I told the lady at the Learning Center that my son was tested and took Adderall for a while and gave her the whole run-down on his side effects and why he was taken off all meds. Guess what? She suggested we try another med. I'm sick to death of these people playing doctor! I looked her straight in the eye and told her that my son would NOT be taking meds of any kind and that if she felt it was necessary that my son be medicated then we need to find another Learning Center. I just had to get this off my chest. I'm still fuming! Thanks for listening.

Susi · 09-04-2003, 10:10 AM

I can understand your anger just too well. Especially about the part with the teachers. I saw my son's teacher every day when I picked up my son from school and heard first hand, what miserable behaviour he had almost every day. What she didn't know is that 5 minutes prior to picking up my son, I always ran into the paraprofessional of my son's class. And her opinion was very often completely different than the teacher's. I know my son and I know he is a good kid, but he is a kid with typical ADHD behaviour! I remember too well all the phone calls I've received, at my new job, and yes, I would call it harrassment. It was nothing that could not have waited until the afternoon when school was over. Isn't it strange that your child's new teacher has nothing but good things to say about your child versus the previous teacher? I remember to well one instance, where I got the usual "he is not focusing, he is talking too much, he is daydreaming..etc. I looked the teacher in the eye and asked her "My child is in your class for seven hours. I am not there. Whatis it that you want ME to do to make this situation better?" and her answer was "Well I can't tell you how to parent your child!" Well, that clearly stated that my son's ADHD behaviour has something to do with my parenting skills. I just looked at her and told her, that her remark just now clearly let's me know, that she is not willing to talk to me about this issue. I requested a conference with the principal, but I already knew that would not result in much, because the principal was absolutely pro-drugs for kids. The teacher is in her mid-20's, has no kid of her own and I can only wish if she ever has one, that it will not be ADHD. I truly believe, that many schools can make a 100% turn-around in many ADHD cases, if they are just willing to help and really go through with assisting our ADHD children and not just have their eyes on the $500 they receive per ADHD diagnosed child!

LiLMissADDitude · 09-04-2003, 11:56 AM

Tell them he has a math learning disability, that way they wont bother you about meds. Try sylvan learning center if you have any near by. In another post I explained how some research attributes ADHD behaviors - both good and bad - to certain personality types. It is quite possible that the teachers who get along with your children are the ones that have personality types that dont clash. The "ADD personality types" make up less than 10% of the population.

There are some schools where ADHD kids are off meds. These schools dont treat the children as if they are special needs. They are simply geared towards their type of thinking/learning styles. Right now 99.9% of all schools are geared towards the linear thinkers. ADHD, not as a disorder, but as a different way of thinking.... we think "outside of the box" Not like everyone else.

If your son really needs something try omega3 fish oil. It helps with ADHD symptoms and is all natural.

I am so pleased that you are so determined to help your son without giving in to medication.

"I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers."
--Woody Allen

parrishnc · 09-04-2003, 12:46 PM

Fuming mad was what I would be too! Good for you as far as discussing and stating your actions with the learning center.
My daughter, who is now 7, had bead reports each day last year. I asked the teacher 4 times, "What can I do to help you". She had no answer. I ended up having another meeting that was NOT DOCUMENTED with the school, and the medication debate began. I was able to assertively state that my daughter isn't going back on meds, and that what really needs to be done is to place and assistant in the classroom, and revise her school plan. I also stated my own background, which the school didn't like. But, I don't really care. I realized that the school can't do anything to me. What was going on with my daughter was my issue, as well as the school's and it needs to be corrected. I'm to the point of requesting my last meeting with the school and state that ever since we started a new behavior plan at home, she has had only two notes home, and they were for very VERY minor infractions. Yes, I'd like to rub it in their faces. Ain't I sweet?

I also looked up the disabilitites and special needs department in the county where I live to see if they had any information concerning ADHD and services I could get for my daughter. She is now a thriving, confident 7 yr old that is very happy in school and can't wait to go back on Mondays! Thank you, behavior plans!

Sincerely,
parrishnc