Just wanted to share a few thoughts on having ADD. I have struggled with it since childhood and wasn't diagnosed until early twenties. I always try to find a simple way of describing how it feels to me to make my family/husband/doctor understand how it feels. And I think that's part of ADD frustration, that you feel like people don't UNDERSTAND why you are the way you are and end up thinking you don't care, are irresponsible, disconnected. Of course trying to simplify it is tough because the feelings and behaviors are so complex and aren't always across the board. So this morning I had a thought that sums up how it feels to me. Boredom. About 90% of the time. If I'm not terribly interested in what I'm doing, it's all boring and mundane. Work, driving, peoples conversations, household responsibilities. Have you ever felt such intense boredom that it almost physically hurts? You want to care and not be bored but have you ever tried to feign interest in something that doesn't interest you? Its tough! And you just want to get whatever it is you are doing out of the way so you can move on to something that just isn't boring. I battled substance abuse in college, which was no doubt self-medicating. Being on something actually let me slow down and enjoy what I was doing. Now one thing that relieves me is turning on the tv, listening to Pandora on my Ipad while surfing the net, with my phone in one hand checking texts. Yes, this is soothing.
So I've been on Adderall XR for various stints in the past but always end up stopping because I struggle with the thought of medicating myself and because of the crabby crash at the end of the day. Right now I am taking Vyvanse for the 4th week but really don't care for it. It gives me headaches, mood swings, only lasts about 5 or 6 hours, and is making me break out badly (I have never had breakouts in my life). Also I am a very healthy eater and it hasn't allowed me a balanced diet and I don't ever feel like working out on it. I am going to try one more round with the Adderall (unless the doc has another suggestion). I hope something works because my husband is going to kill me if I change jobs or make us move one more time to aleviate my boredom. He has told me he just wants a year with no changes. Sorry this is so long. Just wanted to share my 2 cents. If you made it this far thank you for reading!
The following user gives a hug of support to Lolog: addprogrammer (03-31-2012)
Boy, can I ever relate to you Lolog. I was only diagnosed last summer and I turn 59 in a month. I always found museums and art galleries to be excruciatingly painful to go to, but had to play good mama and drag my kids to all those wonderful educational places.
Boredom is profound after between 10 seconds and 2 minutes of hearing someone speak about anything, depending on the subject and speaker. Two minutes, tops, and they've lost me. "oh, look, shiny"... Sometimes my eyes actually cross-no kidding.
I feel the same way! Waiting tables worked for me for 10 years, kept me busy, I opened a daycare, sold anything from Avon to hosting parties...ugh, boredom. I had never thought of that before. I do know I hold ALOT of resentment for not being treated for ADHD as a child. My brother was on medication for it, my aunt even told my mom she thought I had it. She did nothing. I was a horrible student. Talked alot, couldn't find anything and always struggled with my grades. I made bad choices throughout my teenage years and still have a very hard time forgiving myself and assuring myself I am a good person and worthy of my husband and family. It's a constant struggle. I was on diagnosed with ADHD because I had myself tested before college and was put on Strattera and had a 4.0 average. Of course I quit school (still can really say why) and never went back. Now I am on it again but it is $192 a month and that's not going to work. My Dr. wants to discuss putting me on a generic form of Adderall and I'm happy about this. I keep reading about an anxious, moody feeling in the evenings and that worries me since I have 5 kids and they drive me crazy anyway. Anyone had any other experiences with Adderall or the generic version??