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-   -   Need help relationship issues! (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/add-adhd/907988-need-help-relationship-issues.html)

chaosmom 07-04-2012 05:02 PM

Need help relationship issues!
 
Howdy! This is my first post here so please bare with me. I will also try to focus but I do have ADD.

I have been married for 3 years. Right now things are at a all time low. Actually to the point that we barely speak. I have had ADD all my life, although I wasn't dx until I was 20. I started meds back then, until I became pregnant and then decided I really didn't need them. Which wasn't the case but made sense to me. I have had to many jobs to count, tried to go back to school...just totally messed up many things.

My husband just thinks I am lazy and stupid. It's not that I want to forget things or I don't want to not finish the 10 projects I start.

Well when things started slipping when I became a stay at home mom 18 months ago. He thinks I should have a daily routine and structured environment...and be on time. I try I make endless lists, I try to make charts....I just couldn't seem to get it done.

Is decided 2 months ago to try meds again. I started on Ritalin...it is okay...not a lot of difference, except a few things. However it makes me tired and sometimes irritable. The doctor increased me to 30mg 3 times a day last week....the tiredness is gone...but now as it starts wearing off I get horrible headaches? Is this normal?

I see the doctor again next week and I am wondering if I should switch to adderall? I can't do the xr yet because I dont have insurance untill August.

Our 2 biggest problems that are really hurting us are
1...I have no sex drive at all. This is not something new with the med it has been like this for over 6 months.
2...he belittles me...treats me like I am stupid. It drives me nuts! I am actually gifted and very smart...just forgetful with little motivation unless it intrigues me.

Anybody know how to fix this?

I love my husband, I don't want things to get any worse than they are. However I am so stressed out all the time that I think my only fix is divorce.

Thanks so much!

janewhite1 07-08-2012 02:32 PM

Re: Need help relationship issues!
 
Well, there are two separate but related problems here. The first is that you have ADHD and need to manage it, the second is that your relationship with your husband is strained.

For the ADHD, medication is the first step, then you need to learn organizational techniques to keep track of what you need to do, and to manage large projects. A local support group such as Children and Adults with ADHD might help. Ideally, you want to see a coach for a while. Not a therapist, an ADHD coach. Therapy is about your feelings, but coaching is about learning to do and accomplish.

For the other, well, that's a bit less straightforward. But if your husband doesn't respect you...

marinated 07-15-2012 07:23 PM

Re: Need help relationship issues!
 
As for symptoms, I think it's not uncommon to have headache and/or being tired afterwards, I myself notice this from time to time. The only big difference I noticed was sex drive, unlike to you, mine is probably even higher than it already was.


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