All my life, I've struggled to control my temper. Most of the time I succeeded, occasionally I failed. When I failed, other folks sometimes tried to help me. I was offered counseling, anger management books, sometimes discipline or threats so I'd "choose" to stop losing my temper.
None of it worked. I read the anger management resources, and most of the suggestions sounded like they'd been written by a person who'd never been angry in her life. Talk about it calmly? That would just make me angrier. Take a deep breath? Didn't begin to help. And they seemed to be talking about anger lasting for hours or days, mine usually just lasted a few minutes.
What no one ever ever suggested was that I ask an actual psychiatrist for help. Finally, however, I did. He (somewhat offhandedly) suggested an SSRI.
It completely changed my life from the very first dose. Until I took that medicine, I thought that my anger was totally normal, and I just suffered from poor anger management skills. Now I know, the average person does not suffer sudden extreme rage several times a week, sometimes several times a day. I wasn't emotionless on the medicine, I sometimes felt happy, sometimes stressed, sometimes frustrated, but when I was upset, I was able to manage it easily.
I just can't believe I never knew this before. All my life, everyone told me, "It's your fault. Why are you doing this? You know it's wrong, so just stop." Oh, I recognized that hormones, blood sugar, ADHD, and other things played a role, but I ultimately believed the only answer was more self-control. Luckily, I was completely wrong about that!
So, I should be happy. It's an easily treatable psychiatric condition, and Zoloft works for it MUCH better than Adderall ever did for anything.
Unfortunately, after about a week, the drug started to severely aggravate my erosive gastritis, and I just couldn't keep taking it. Worse, the other SSRIs have the same issue, and I haven't had any luck with other drug classes, like the tricyclics. My Pdoc and I are still experimenting, but I'm NOT optimistic.
I just can't believe this is IT, you know? How can I get one taste of normal-brain and then give it up forever?
The following user gives a hug of support to janewhite1: addprogrammer (11-04-2012)
Personally, I don't see how this falls under te ADD/ADHD message board. But I do understand your need for "normal brain functions" and the side effects of the helpful drugs is unfortunate.
Personally, I am the exact opposite to you when it comes to anger. I am VERY tolerant. MANY things are needed to make me snap, and when it happens... things can get scary. that aside, maybe its my personality but I have found useful ways to control my anger.
1).Finding a proper channel for my anger. Pwning some ppl in online videogames CAN HELP (or make your more mad, lol).
2).Think: I understand thinking while furious is hard, but try to imagine what you are going to do. Or examine why you are mad, or what you are crazy enough to do while in this enraged state.
3).Plan revenge. This is something I ONLY advise to ppl with ADD. Planning elaborate ways of getting revenge do wonders of things. for one, it takes your mind off of anger, AND... For people with ADD, can lead you on tangents away from your anger. And secondly, in people with ADD, you can actually prevent the execution of said plans (see point below).
4). JUST SLEEP ON IT! Sleep can act like a "reset" button for people with ADD and is something inherent to the disorder itself. So, why not use your disorder to your advantage? The problem with this is, it's kinda hard to fall asleep when your mind is racing.
