I AM GOING INSANE - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

lisaaahubb · 05-15-2003, 06:57 AM

well it has been about an hour or so since i posted last and i am nothing but a bucket of tears. Today is definitely a bad day for me , emotionally and physically. I have some xanax, but they make me too tired to take care of my one year old. I just want this nightmare to be over. I have picked the phone up several times to make some "phone calls" and quickly hang it up because I know if I take pills today I am only adding to my withdrawal for the next time. I am hoping this is the last time....this is so much different than when I quit cocaine and alcohol. The cravings are getting bigger every day. This monkey on my back just won't leave me alone....

Jenetti · 05-15-2003, 07:39 AM

Hang in there Lisa, you can do it hon, dont give up.

You are much stronger than you think, just take one day at a time, one hour at a time even. Keep writing on here, your feelings, your thoughts, just vent if you have to, dont give in to those cravings, we can post back and forth today if you want. You can do it sweetie.

Jen

Dawn in NH · 05-15-2003, 07:43 AM

Hey Lisa -

I agree with Jen!!

Please read my response to your first post, ok?

Dawn

StacyVictor · 05-15-2003, 08:01 AM

My dear I know EXACTLY what you are going thru, I am going thru the same thing myself. I also on day 5 and I feel like I can't move! My husband died of an overdose a few months ago so the only person I have to "fool" is my boss and luckily he is the kind of guy that took 5 years to figure out I have red hair, needlesstosay he is oblivious so it's not so hard! There is nothing that I can recommend that will make you feel better, I know because I have tried, but I can tell you that you are in good company. I feel just as lousy as you do, hopeless, I have cried everday for my husband that I lost in March to an oxycontin overdose and now I feel like he died all over again. It's hard, I know, but I guess somewhere deep down inside of us we have to know that we can do this! For me, it's not an option. I was taking 25 vicodin's a day. If I go back now, I will end up killing myself, just like my husband, and I don't want that, it scares me. I know 3 people that have died in the last year of overdosing on these stupid pain pills. You have kids, it's just not worth the risk. For me, when I am feeling really aweful, like yesterday, I just tell myself, this will go away, I will feel better and if I fall it could mean the end of my life eventially, I guess I kind of scare myself, it works for me anyway! Hang in there! We are almost there! Think of how good we are going to feel in a few weeks when we don't have to worry about where we are going to get that next pill. I can't wait! I'll be thinking of you!

Stacy

HERMIT · 05-15-2003, 08:19 AM

Lisa--I suggest taking your child to your parents--friends anyone you trust for a day or two. Getting through this alone will be easier than trying to take care of your child on top of it. You can do it---stick it out.