Need Support! - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Pretender · 06-14-2003, 02:43 PM

Hi I'm new here on the boards and just need to know that I'm not alone in my addiction to pills. I quit drinking four years ago but the pills are another story. I have had back and leg pain for many years now and take the pills to just be able to get out of bed and lead a normally productive life. I must admit that in the beginning along with the relief from pain, I did crave the euphoric feeling but they don't get me high like they used to since I have built up a tolerance. From reading your posts, I know that I am not unique. I am not in a position to afford back surgery right now, but I am seriously considering it for the first time in my life when I get health insurance! Although the medications help me manage the pain, I do not feel completely free. I run out before the month is up and count the days until the next refill.I attend AA meetings regularly but do not sponsor anyone since I feel that I am a "Pretender." Thanks for reading my post and I do have hope for the future since recovering from alcoholism for four years, I do know that "This too shall Pass!"

[This message has been edited by Pretender (edited 06-14-2003).]

Autumn Angel · 06-14-2003, 03:13 PM

Hello Pretender and welcome to our family

....You are not alone at all. Alot of us here have started out the same as you have. I am a chronic pain patient and have been for 12 years. I have had TMJD, ovarian cysts and Renal ptosis (floating kidney). I had 10 years of NSAID therapy before being put on narcotics 2 years ago. I have been on a few but I am back to my originals now untill next month when my Pain Management doc decides what to put me on next. He is talking the patch or Hydromorhone Contin (Dilaudid). I am currently on percocet 5mg/325mg 2 tabs 4 times a day. I lost my boyfriend/soulmate to a heart attack 4 weeks ago today and my pain level went through the roof so he upped my dosage temporarily. But my pain levels are getting back to the norm so I think I am going to try and stick with what I am on now just lower the dosage.
I come to this board because I detox usually every weekend for a couple days to try and keep my tolerance level down so I support others here as well as grab some support myself during my hard times. What are you taking for pain? I dont think you said in your post and I personally feel if you need the meds for pain and you happen to get the euphoric feeling when you start them like I am sure alot do that are not used to narcs there is nothing wrong with that at all. Anyway welcome and I am sure you will be a great addition to our family.

Autumn.

Dawn in NH · 06-14-2003, 03:20 PM

Hi Pretender -

Just a couple of comments -

I don't think you're a pretender at all. You're like a lot of us here. You're a person who suffers from chronic pain that takes medicine for quality of life issues. I don't understand why we beat ourselves up for taking pain meds. I do the same thing.

I've been told by a few wise members of this board that I'm not addicted to my meds - I'm dependent on them. Just the same as a diabetic is dependent on insulin, or a person with high cholesterol is dependent on Lipitor.

I don't catch a buzz on my meds either - I don't think there's a pill on this earth that could buzz me at this point. I've been on Morphine for three years now for Fibromyalgia and degenerative disc disease among other things.

I've been told I'll be on one pain pill or another for pain until I die. I guess my goal is to get a handle on my intake. My tolerance is so high - I have to almost double what the doctor prescribes to get any relief. Then I run out early, and withdrawal is HELL as we all know.

I've told my doc that I need my dosage adjusted, but he wants no part of that since it's morphine. I can't blame him - he's a GP, not a pain management doc. You would think after three years there would need to be some adjustments though.

Anyway, welcome to the board - you'll find some awesome people here - warm and supportive for the most part.

Dawn

Pretender · 06-14-2003, 03:32 PM

Thanks Autumn. I take Lorcet, and Ultram for pain and Ambien for sleep. My AA sponsor has me logging the meds that I take daily and she reads the log weekly. It helps me to be aware of how much I'm taking and when. She is the only one who knows what's really going on with me (until now) and has been very supportive. I take between 6-10 Lorcet daily and usually only 2 Ultram(50mg)because they make me sweat alot! I discontinued the Ultram for a couple of weeks last summer when a pharmacist warned me that seizures were possible when taking both Lorcet and Ultram together. I asked another pharmacist and she said she had never heard of that, so I went back on the Ultram. Have you heard that seizures are possible when taking those medications together? Your warm greeting is much appreciated!

Hopefortoday · 06-14-2003, 03:35 PM

Pretender, I know someone who was taking Ultram (too much of it, and don't know if he was taking anything else) and had seizures. I would listen to the pharmacist who told you it's a possibility and be careful!

Have you ever been able to detox off the meds and see if you still have the pain after withdrawals? Is surgery the only way to free you of the pain?

Good luck to you!