well in the past few hours i have slipped into a depression, I am moody and miserable. I am sitting here folding freakin' socks on a Friday night while my husband is out at his "wonderful" softball game. Why is it that mom's seem to get the short end of the stick. Especially me since I don't work. My only real friends seem to be here lately. Boring 'ol life. I am losing my zing. I feel blah. I need change of some sort...something for me. I guess I am missing my pills. I used to encourage him to go and play, so I could be "high" w/out him around. I hope this mood doesn't roll into tomorrow. I seem to have insomnia too....which i haven't had at all thru out this whole craziness. feeling down, glad there are no pills w/in my reach tonight....I would probably do something stupid. Hope everyone is having a better night than I!!!!
sounds like a real life bummer, although I am not blessed with those wonderfull depressions tonight I too am home alone while my Wife is out in Las Vegas having a ball. Well deserved though I have created the occasional moment of tension in our lives.
A little history She is sober 12 years and I am now sober for 4 months although I am on suboxone untill august 13 I really carry a little fear about that date.
I think I might have a suggestion that you can try.
just spend some time being gratefull for the fact that you can actually feel depressed and that it wont last and that you don't have to go running to the bottle to make it go away (isn't that funny the word bottle works for both pill heads and alcaholics) anyway I hope you aint depressed long and I hope your husband wins his ballgame and for gods sake let him have a try tonight all men are wishing for that.
( I hope the last wasnt offensive and if it was scold me and I wont ever use that tone of humor again)
Hi Lisa! Sorry to hear you're feelin sooo bad. I'm new to this board, so please don't mind me asking, but how long and what kind of pills were/are you taking? i'm in the same boat as you only I do have my pills, which I'm trying my hardest to stay with my prescribed dosage. I've been up since 4am just WAITING to take my next dose. I'm disgusted with myself because I need these damn things sooo much! Just laying in bed wondering "how the hell did i get here???" my bf of 13 years doesn't drink or anything else - never has, and he actually has a "life"!! My life has turned into taking my pills. So, here i sit at home with the kids every night. The sun is now coming up and it's a new day. Hopefully it will be better for ALL of us ))!
GOOD MORNING LISA. YOU SOUND LIKE I DID LAST WEEK. DEPRESSION REALLY SU***. I AM A STAY AT HOME FATHER. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. IF YOU HAVE BEEN WITHOUT PILLS THIS LONG, I AM REALLY, REALLY PROUD OF YOU. KEEP IN TOUCH. PAUL
Lisa! You've been a lighthouse and tower to so many of us! I've been following your story for a month and you have been through as much as I would go through in a year! I sure admire your strength of character and determination. I wish I had it! I was doing so well after detoxing from percs/vikes for three years - off for a couple of weeks till a friend gave me acetamenophen for my headache which never went away. I suddenly felt that familiar hint of a buzz and asked her what it was - come to find out she gave me a Darvocet N100 which contains aceta. and hydrocodone. Tossed and turned that night, boring life, hangnail and I'm on the phone asking my doc for my monthly pain meds to be called in. I swore "just a few", only for emergencies. NOT! I'm on day four of using again and,"She's baaaaaack", the moody, cranky, doomsdayer nobody liked to be around (not even me). After w/d with three/four days of treacherous symptoms blown away. AND! I need to start tomorrow job hunting, so, I need to get off these things as.. they're not worth the nanosecond-of-a-high (if that!) I'm feeling miserable again. But, if they're there (like in my night table drawer) I'll take them and am trying to get up enough courage to throw them away. And even tho I told my doc I started abusing (180 percs in 18 days) he switched to 150 vic es.
Do you know how long it takes for opiates to leave your system say for a drug test?
(ten vike es a day).
Keep us posted Lisa! Hope your Saturday wasn't as bad! Should you have that edge and urge - trust me when I say, IT AIN'T WORTH throwing away all that effort to get clean for a few haunting hints of a high that you won't even feel, and will only age and harm make body's worn-torn organs and take longer to heal and regenerate. Take care and thanks for your courage I hope to copy. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif Anna