Detox; Meeting 'someone' & Timing - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Percokitty · 07-12-2003, 02:07 PM

Hi y'all
This has been on my mind this week; it's a little soap operish; but I though I'd tell this little story.

It's been awhile since I was involved with anyone; my last relationship 3 years ago was a heartbreak and affected me deeply..about the same time my mom died, and of course I was taking more opiates at the time. I sort of shut down for awhile.

2 weeks ago, long story, but I met someone as a result of a friends crisis with her cats; just gave him a key, etc. and was surprised at my reaction to him; so nice and attractive. Turned out it wasn't one-sided and he called me in the hopes we could meet again...

I'm writing this because I do so much - but i can't and I have been unable to tell him the truth about what's going on as I don't know him really well - other than the nice hearsay things I've learned. The detox has zombied me out and I know I won't be feeling well for some time to come if I stick with it; so I've been vague.

I've also isolated myself so much for so long and was in my own little opiate bubble .. that I feel like I would not even know how to relate...gosh what a difference 3 years makes!

So I feel like I've had to put him aside while I go through this process. It may sound silly, but there was something there, altho I'm not sure what, and I don't feel right now I have anything to give ...

and I'm no youngster - any thoughts about entering into a new relationship during this time? I'm not myself; I'm not even sure who I am w/o the opiates...

Kitty

FWCadeFoster · 07-12-2003, 04:33 PM

oh the bitterness, I was dumped twice while trying to kick and by people I cared about a lot. I know it's all my fault too.

I'd either tell the guy or put the whole thing on hold. Kitty

I think it really scares people when they KNOW there is something you're hiding and they dont know what it is. Ive been told "you're a real sweet guy but there is something about you, like you are hiding something. You're trying to hard to please me and that scares me." damn she was brilliant.

I always choke and never tell the truth because it's all a big secret with me. But really good luck. I hope it all works out in your favor. =D

Percokitty · 07-12-2003, 04:43 PM

I'd either tell the guy or put the whole thing on hold. Kitty

...thanks RW ... what I did tell him was that I had been postponing a medical thing, that I really didn't want to postpone any longer; and for the time being, I'd be recuperating, etc. I was vague.

So, we've E-mailed/called a few times. I wouuld like to see him again when I'm ready..whenever that is..but there is alot of self-doub because who am I without my pills?

OK, this is day 6 and I dont' feel all that bad ... forced myself to get up and do a few things; still so weak; I took the patch off early because I was tired of feeling like I was in a coma...it will wear off.

As for the darvocets I had, I took "1" this morning; shouldn't be taking any ... but I did. I'm hoping to be able to be strong enough to make up my mind not too. Maybe I can feel normal w/o them..

Kitty

timsworld73 · 07-13-2003, 10:30 PM

Kitty(meow..meow...)sorry I had been wanting to do that for a long time

Congrats on your recovery. I lost more that a few relationships to my addiction, I feel for your problem

Gabbi · 07-14-2003, 07:50 AM

Hey Kitty,
I think it would do you good to get out of the house, have some fun. You don't need to go into your past. Make a short date, get coffee. I know you don't feel like yourself now, but once you do it, you can say "hey I can do this too!!!" Good luck!!