Day 17, now what? - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

sooready · 07-15-2003, 02:15 PM

Hi all! It's been awhile, too long! It's been 17 days since my last pill! I really don't even know what to say. I hate this so much but yet want to accomplish this so much. I'm tired of the all the guilt I'm feeling! My wonderful 2 and 4 year olds are getting the worst deal out of this and I can't stand it but yet haven't found a way to change it yet. I just have no interest in doing much of anything with them, I just want to get the day done. I want to stop being so emotional and stop crying and get up and have some fun. I've been going to meetings and truly they don't do a lot for me. What if it's like this forever? I know I'm being a real downer here but I just don't know what to do. I admit I'm proud of myself for going this long but at the same time if this is what life is going to be like is it worth it? My husband is trying to be real supportive but he really just doesn't understand. he's been wonderful but I thought I could come here and get my true feelings out, I hope I didn't go too far with all the pathetic stuff. I just had to vent!

okieatheart · 07-15-2003, 02:26 PM

Hello soooready,I'm sorry about how you're feeling.I think you're doing better than me though because you go days without posting and I am still glued to the board.....I know that feeling that the kids suffer the most...I really try with them but everything is an enormous effort,because if your like me laundry,feeding,cleaning,cudling,baths,p laytime,school,etc.etc.etc.never freakin stops!!! My hubby tries sometimes but he is getting very tired with this "same ole thing!" I wish I had an answer.....do you get out alot?

Philster2003 · 07-15-2003, 02:38 PM

All I can say is hang in there, 17 days is a real accomplishment. It takes time to get all systems back to normal. The brain has to relearn how to generate serotonin (sp) which is a large part of your emotional and pain management areas. You are making gains no doubt, there much smaller and harder to recognize. Stay with it you are so close to getting out of the forest.

okieatheart · 07-15-2003, 02:52 PM

BTW- I guess I was putting the horse before the cart-if you are 17 days,I'm 16.....dang it! I thought it was 18!!! Are you still having any physical effects besides fatigue? Like any acheness>?

SincerlyReallyStupid · 07-15-2003, 02:52 PM

sooready~ Hey its me..Sin...17 days!!! WoW...Im on my 8th and Im asking the same things you are. I'm staring at a bottle of 60 pills of vic and I swear I don't understand this whole push and pull process. Its like what you're saying. You've been 17 days without 'em and you know you would think you would be getting back to normal. Normal~ what exactly is that though. To me it was getting up and taking 7 vics and attacking anything that needed to be done with a smile and with energy and compassion and determination and soooooo much interest. NOW...ladefreakindah...i don't want to get out of bed period. I could care less. Things are going undone and unattended to. I hate this feeling. You're sitting there telling me after day 17 you still have this stinking VOID. Oh lord~ when does it end?