starting over,again... - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

whatever63 · 07-16-2003, 09:12 AM

Good morning all! I thought I could try not to take any of the vics last night, but hubby needed one so I had to go get it for him...then I had the bottle in my hand..then you can guess what happened next!BUMMER! My little stash has now turned into 8 of the little devils to help me with the tapering I had planned out sooo carefully! (forgot that poor hubby might "actually" have some pain and need one..DUH!) I was very unhappy with myself until the "fuzzies" kicked in...then I just decided to get up and try abit harder today! When I finally did get to bed (I'm a nightowl anyway!)I had this terrible nightmare as soon as I fell asleep! Something about walking down a long hallway with lots of doors and I was afraid to open any of them because I knew something horrible was behind them...but right before I woke up I remember I opened one and this horrible gust of wind and a creature came at me...then I woke up in a sweat and grabbed my hubby!WOW! Talk about facing your demons head-on! I really believe our subconsious tries to "tell" us things in our sleep! Well, hopefully I won't have anymore dreams like those...gonna' try to start getting to bed at a normal time and getting up to walk in the mornings!

What happened to mp1954 or wahtever it was?? Such a rude person!! I saw the moderators message, so must have posted something bad...just can't understand why people want to be so cruel! I agree with whoever wrote that we have been "judged" so much that we are beyond that...good point!

PS...Along with the coloring book and crayons, I have found a good "belly-laugh" is wonderful!!! Hopefully we can all find something to chuckle about today...I am beginning my search..LOL!!! TC all!!!

Philster2003 · 07-16-2003, 09:33 AM

Hang in there we all hit rough water. Just keep your head down and keep trying.

rlcowboy · 07-16-2003, 11:00 AM

Hey, just one question for ya. If you have a bad problem with opiates, did'nt you tell your husband, because it does'nt seem right that he would ask you to go get a prescription filled just so he could take one?? Was it your prescription? I would tell him whats going on if he does'nt allready know, because if hes gonna support you doing this it does'nt sound like alot of help asking you to go out and fill a prescription, and if it is his I would tell him to go get it filled and not let you know about it!! Just a suggestion?

varnua · 07-16-2003, 11:22 AM

See my post at "NO PROGRESS" for information on where to find help with Buprenorphine or Methadone Maintenance or taper.

mike99 · 07-16-2003, 11:26 AM

Hey whatever... I agree with rlcowboy. My last relapse was at my parents house, it was my first day of no medications (I had just done a 3 day subutex detox), and my mom just had knee replacement. I hit everything on the H.A.L.T. list (I was hungry, andgry, lonely, and tired), and saw mom's bottle of vics. TADA! I also had a stash of 8 in about 3 seconds, and of course the 8 lasted me about 3 hours, then I was off to the races!

Tell your husband what's going on (of course, just a suggestion - I don't know what kind of guy he is, etc.) but you will now always see that as a kind of "safety net" when you're feeling weak. (not criticizing - it would be a temptation for ME...) Plus, as this forum itself shows, getting support while we fight is they key! The guilt from taking the pills, or simply the guilt of hiding your problem from hubby could cause you to want to use.

I wish you luck. If it's okay with you, I'll add your name to my prayer list, and take it to church tomorrow night and light a candle for you (it's not something anyone else will hear - just me, God, and the candle!