Ok I have a question, and have to tell yall something - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Lovepainpills · 03-06-2003, 09:30 AM

Ok, So I just took the last two percocets that I have in this house... This is the start of a great procees cause right now I feel like I can handle this, but it could be the drugs too! (more than likely is)
Anyways, I've been switching the pains meds over off and on since August of 2002 when I had surgery on my ankle.. I took anywhere from Vics to percs to lortab, pretty much anything I could get my hands on.. oh yea and davocet... davocet was like eating candy though..
So with me switching all the time, its not just going to be one withdrawl from one pill correct, it will be opiades all together.. So I wonder how bad I wil have withdrawls if I was switching pills all the time. How many I took a day depended on how many I had to spare. Some came from doctors (I'm a doc shopper)! and some came from the streets.
I can't get them off the streets anymore cause I can't find them, and I don't want to get in trouble with doc shopping with I know I will if I keep it up, so therefore I'm ready to stop and get my life back. I do smoke pot everyday, and I take effoxor for deppresion. Im wondering if this will help with my withdrawl experiance that I will be going through.
I run a business out of my home, coach soccer and work part time at night as a waitress so I am very active and know I can't go into detox or anything because if they found out I would lose everything. I do have 3 great friends that I just told about my addiction and they are the only ones I really want to know. I was just thinking about taking a week off from work (waitress and soccer) and work from home while I go through the withdrawls.I almost even bought some stackers 3s for energy when I don't have any pills.
I use to be a very happy person, wonderful boyfriend but now I have nethier.. I have guys ask me out all the time and i just turn them down cause If I start dating then they will find out about the addiction. Plus I'm not myself, and If I start dating I want to be myself, before I start dating so there won't be any questions.
So this ramble doesn't keep going. I read all of your post, I'm so glad I have someone to type to and can read all of what you all went through and I know I have help!

Now I have a doctors appt Tuesday.. Do I get pain meds, or tell him about my addiction so he can do something about that.
I have alot of promblems with my legs and back due to arthrits and I don't know what too do about that, because the pain gets so bad in my legs sometimes I hate myself. My brother and mother thank I should see a pain speaclist about this, but what is he going too do, presribe more pain medicine? Or tell me its all in my head, do I go to the doctor or just suck it up.
I was a great student in high school, cheerleader, soccer player, etc.. I'm only 27u and already have veins that pop out of my legs from being so active when I was younger, plus the soccer now and waiting tables I'm sure doesn't help, but I love to wait tables and I love soccer... I'm 5"11 I grew very fast and I was always told I would have problems in my legs.. but is it a problem or is it withdrawls?

The past couple of nights I wake up in pure water from the sweat, is this withdrawl and if so how.. I still am taking the pilss, right now I have percocet, although I just took my last two! So I wonder what tomorrow has in store for me?
Sorry so long just help me please?

Citykittie · 03-06-2003, 12:11 PM

you had alot of questions but I can maybe help with one. I have for 4 - 5 months straight taken a mix of pills too. I don't know if mine are as addictive as yours. Each night I'd take either Ambien, Sonata, xanax, vicodin or tylenol with codiene. So I was always switching around because I thought I could keep from building up tolerance. For example in the beginning it took half a pill of Ambien to knock me out and by the end it took 4 whole ones. So I started switching around or combining.

I went cold turkey 8 days ago and have had no withdrawl symptoms. At night I panic and mentally want it, but it is just a mind game. No physical symptoms. So switching around I think maybe made it easier for me.

Good luck

[This message has been edited by Citykittie (edited 03-06-2003).]

Lovepainpills · 03-06-2003, 03:29 PM

Thank you for your reply.
I just messed up really bad though and hate myself for it. I want to quit but its so hard when they are thrown in your face.
My person came over with 20 lortabs and of course with the money I don't have I bought them, and I hate myself.

I really, really want to stop this addiction, I did give half the pills away to my brother but I did keep a couple for myself.

I had the right mind today, where did it go!
I'm going to try everyday as a new day, I need my bills to get back on track or I'm going to screw myself hard.

I didn't have the money to spend on these damn things and I did it anyways, being a waitress doesn't help anything cause I always have cash on me... but I think I'm going to start depoisting it at night into the bank and tear my atm card up, therefore money isn't available unless its for money.
I let my best friend down today, by buying this things in front of her, I can't tell if she is mad, hurt, or doesn't care!

I'm off to work, to make up the money I spent on this ****, I don't care if I don't get home till midnight, I'm going to the bank with whatever money I make tonight.

I'm talking to myself..haha, just kidding I haven't lost it that bad..lol
but I will if I don't stop!

Lovepainpills · 03-06-2003, 03:31 PM

I just read my own post.. I meant to pay bills, and I didn't even spell right, sorry..lol

I guess I better start re reading somethings before I submit them to make sure they make sense.

1goodgirl · 03-06-2003, 08:10 PM

Try being honest with your doctor. Hopefully he can help you, or send you to someone who can. It is horrible to be addicted like this, and I'm sure you have the sympathy of everyone who reads this. Good Luck!