I Caved Yesterday - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

toomany · 09-09-2003, 06:31 AM

I truly have misjudged how hard it was going to be to get off the hydros. I had 4 days of no pills but yesterday I drove 3 hours to pick up a few pills that a friend was holding for me. There are not many but maybe enough to last me until I can get a refil next week. I'm ashamed. I feel weak. I thought I could make up my mind and at get off of them because I really want off...of all meds. I did not expect the cravings to be so strong. My dosage or pills I take in a day may not be as high as some, but it has me in a tight grip.

I know some of you are tapering and I am wondering how I can get more information about it? I would appreciate any informtion.

Thanks.

Hopefortoday · 09-09-2003, 08:39 AM

Toomany . . . what's done is done so don't beat yourself up over it. Just start the process over . . . you are not weak!! Take care of yourself! Today is another day!!

rlcowboy · 09-09-2003, 08:54 AM

Hey,do you still want to stop??? If so, just stop taking them again, if you are just taking a few a day and have been stopped for 4 days now just quit again because if your tappering it will not make that much of a difference anyway with that small amount, and tappering will not kill the cravings!! Just try not to go get that refill, if you do all your work will be for nothing

either way we are here for you, please Stay Strong and Pray to the Lord to help you stop and to kill the cravings!!very important to stop again, right now

Rlcowboy

Jerri1 · 09-09-2003, 11:24 AM

toomany,Listen to Cowboy!Dont pick up that refill!I've been where you are too many times to count!I drove for hours just to get a few too!I've been to the e.r. faking to get a few!I've stolen from family and friends just to get a few!!For what?To go through thw wds.all over again?You've made it through the worse of the physical part so dont go back!Dust off your butt from those few and get back up and keep going!Its hard but you can do it!Keep coming here and posting cause it helps alot to know you have support behind you!I have 30 days on the 7th.this time and I'm going for it!Take my hand and I'll help all I can to get you through!The rainbow is starting to shine for me and I'd love to share it with you!So come on go for it!!Your friend..Jerri

toomany · 09-09-2003, 11:52 AM

Yes! I still want to stop. I have been making a list of all the reasons I want to stop. I'm going to re-read them and write some more.

I had drug addiction problems 20 years ago and was in a detox center. I had a few problems after leaving the center but bottom line was that when I decided to finally quit, I don't remember it being this difficult. Time can trick your memory but then again, at that particular time I was not addicted, I was starting to mess around with the pills again but could see where I was going. Having a new baby was great incentive. I also had lots of changes to make such as friends. Now for the most part I don't have drug using friends, sure some drink but I don't take drugs with anyone. I suppose I live a middle class sort of life now.

But I know I need to make some changes in my life. For one thing I need to find a new job, I have been laid off twice in the past 7 months. The last job I got lasted 90 days and I was told I was let go because they could not afford me, but I know I really wasn't working very hard. My attitude has changed. These drugs have changed my personality. I have depression but believe it to all be drug related. But then again, maybe I have been fighting depression for years.

Too late for the refill though. I already ordered it.

I have a lot of opportunities to get off the meds since I am out of a job. I think I can survive 2 months, making my car and house payments without working. If I can go through 7-14 days of w/d and then maintain my new sober life, I think I can find a job without losing everything I have worked for.

I will definitely try praying as well. All information and encouragement welcome.

Thank you for supporting me.