DId I say friday? I meant TODAY! - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

jennylostory · 10-01-2003, 03:24 PM

O.K. Everyone. This is going to be hard. I had a plan in place. If you recall I was going to stop ct on friday. Went to the doc. yesterday and he gave me something like valuim, to help with the w/d, and a number of a guy to call who works at a detox center. I do have a point. When I went to get the last of my pills last night I realized that was it. I only had three left! Holy ****! What planet had I been on, not even realizing I had run out? So I told my husband and he was like,"what can you do?", and I said "i guess this is god's way of saying, "you're stopping now!" Neeless to say, last night was o.k., sleep-wise, but today SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like ****, and want to get more pills! My strong will keeps telling me to hang in there and I really know I can. I just wasn't ready for this to happen today. Hubby had to go in to work today and he felt terrible leaving me. I told him he should

But I have managed my best to take care of the kids without them even knowing I feel like this. Is tomorrow going to be worse than today? I guess this is really day one for me. I need ya'll to help me. This sucks.
Jenny

timsworld73 · 10-01-2003, 03:33 PM

okay jenny...so now is the time. It is tough, it xucks, and there is no way around it if you go C/T. You have some valium...you will need it to try to get sleep. with me sleep was something that did not come easy at all. So the more you can sleep the better. I am so convinced alot can be mental. When I was detoxing for my last time(I tried three times before getting it right) I was so ****ed off at the way the pills had ruled my life and sick of feeling the way I did and the person I had begun. I spent alot of time sitting in the shower with the hot water falling on me...just thinking how much I hated those pills. I could not believe that I had let a lifeless, bitter, and expensive pill, no bigger than a dime take complete control of my life. Even while I was in the middle of w/d's I went outside in the morning and noticed how smells smelt different, how things sounded different...everything was different without pills. After you get through the hell of detoxing and start life again, you will be glad you made this decision...good luck and stay on the board

Wakeupcall · 10-01-2003, 04:35 PM

Jenny,
Unfortunately, tomorrow might be worse. But, each day will get better!!!If the kids ask, maybe you can say,"Mommy is sick" or has the flu. I know, you might feel like it is lying, but infact, you are sick. Now, you are one day closer to being drug free! Immodium also helps with the bathroom issue! good luck. Try to keep positive! I will be thinking of you! Shell

trinity714 · 10-01-2003, 05:53 PM

i hope you are hanging in there! Unfortunately it's going to be bad for a few more days...but I promise you the end result is so worth it!
You are so lucky to have a supportive husband. That will help SO much. The best thing you can do is to take the valium on a regular basis...to keep you slightly sleepy and calm. Plus, at least for me, the benzos had an effect on my memory so I don't remember my withdrawal that much.

I've gone through withdrawal three times...once cold turkey, with NO meds, which of course was awful. Once with benzos, which was better, and one with suboxone which was great. Hopefully no more!

Warm baths help...so does exercise, although most of the time you'll feel too yucky to get there, but if you can even take a walk, it'll help with the restless legs. immodium or lomotil on a regular basis will also be beneficial.

But no matter what, don't give up. Keep your eyes on the prize...and think that next week at this time you will be on your way to a new life. If all you can do for the next several days is lie around (or pace around!) the house, let yourself be sick. Don't feel like you have to do anything but get better. And sleep as much as possible, obviously it will help the time pass.

please keep us posted, we're all pulling for you.

toomany · 10-01-2003, 06:35 PM

Hi Jenny,

I know it's hard but you have a great attitude about starting your c/t a few days early. It make work out better this way. By the time Friday comes and your husband is home, you will be so glad to have him care for your children and household. Maybe you could rent a lot of movies to keep your mind occupied. What are your plans when your husband is home with the kids?

I loved reading your post about the reasons you want to get and stay clean. When I read them, I thought, that is what I want too. Maybe when you are feeling down and the cravings hit, re-read that post.

I'll be thinking of you and keep you in my prayers.

Patty