Just finished day 1- again! - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

toughtime · 10-02-2003, 08:53 PM

Hi everyone,
I haven't had a pill all day! I haven't posted a while, but had a 4-6 pill a day- everyday- for 2 years Lortab/Norco habit. I got down to 1 1/2 a day on a taper, posted and no one even responded. I got the feeling that unless you take 20 or 40 a day, you get no sympathy here. I quit before though (for 5 days) and you guys were great... anyway, the tapering didn't go too well. My last day I took a bunch, thinking that it was the last time. I meant to quit yesterday, but felt so bad and literally couldn't stop yawning at work! But I haven't had any today. I am depressed and unenergetic, but I hope this passes soon. I know my habit isn't as bad as a lot of people's, but it's just hard as hell for me to not take even 1 every day. They make me feel normal. I feel so off without them. Anyway, just wanted to share. I am trying to be proud of myself for not taking any today. I even got a refill and put them up!That was really really hard. It's nice to be able to post, since my friends and family don't have a clue about this. Thanks.

1goodgirl · 10-02-2003, 09:03 PM

You receive just as much understanding whether you are hooked on 1 pill/day, or on 40/day. It is still the same problem. Some of us (me included) might be a little bit envious of you. I wish I could go back to that time and know what I know now. I am sorry no one responded to your prior post, but please know that you are in the hearts and thoughts of everyone on this board. We all relapse and feel quilty about it. Please don't feel that you are alone; you are NOT alone.

addicted_to_norco · 10-02-2003, 09:53 PM

you are not alone. This is my first day(well I had a dose at 5am this morning) and felt I was alone and no one knows what I am going through. It is good to see I am not alone. God Bless

Becky

lisaaahubb · 10-03-2003, 05:17 AM

Hey toughtime---seems like you and i have some things in common....our habit size. I am tapering too and am down to 3 a day....it is still VERY HARD, i can definitely sympathize with you. I am a blob w/out them, can't do a dam thing....that is probably why i am still on the dam things....I have 3 kids so laying around for 3 days isn't really an option. I contemplated going c/t yesterday and just the thought sent me running to the pharm....i have made it 28 days before and kick myself in the #ss everyday for going back on them. It was the lack of interest in life and no energy that convinced me to take them again...I also wasn't involved in meetings or anything....well keep me informed, i will be anxious to hear how you feel, since we seem to have the same habit size......HANG IN THERE!!!!! I'm routing for you.
LISA

toomany · 10-03-2003, 05:26 AM

I hope you are patting yourself on the back for your first 24, you deserve it..no matter how many pills you are taking. Addiction is addiction. The w/d may or may not be as difficult for those taking 20-40 a day but I know it is hard nonetheless. I too am on 4-6 pills a day. I've tried tapering these but keep slipping back. So, I think I'm going to pick a day and go for it. I'm going to try to incorporate a weekend during the c/t so that I can suffer alone at home vs trying to work.

I know how hard it is to throw those pills down the toilet but if I have them in my possesion I am going to eventually take them. Once you are addicted, I think it is a rare individual that could use self administered pain meds. If you are in a hospital or having dental surgery and have a minimal amount that is one thing...and that is even hard. But having a full refill hidden...well, I just couldn't do it. In fact I have close to a full refill in my possesion right now, and even though I know flushing them is the way to go, I have thought about calling someone trustworthy to hang on to them. For me I recognize that if I do that, I am just setting myself up for my next relapse. But we are all different, and we get there in different ways.

I hope your day today is tolerable and you stay strong. I hope to be joining you soon and look for my post of my first 24 hours clean....also praying that it will be the last 24 hours of w/d I ever have to endure. I'm not giving up. You stay strong too.

I'll be looking for your posts. Good luck today.

Patty