I can understand your pain and frustration!
I haven't been fighting with this disease for quite as many years, but I also have a track record of pulling together some clean time, then relapsing. I have also had very serious legal, social and financial consequences, and I have learned that nothing will work to keep me clean but having a good program. I even used after being released from jail, although when I was in that jail cell, I swore I'd never want it again!
First, you definitely need to get in touch with some meetings and people in recovery in your area. As you know, it's just impossible to try to do this without support. If you hit a meeting and open up, you will be welcomed with tons of support. I know you may be frustrated with NA since you have relapsed, and I have felt the same...the whole "this will never work for me!" but keep at it, I still am convinced that if I work at it, it will work for me. Heck, I'm not that "unique" that I'll be one of those "constitutionally incapable" ones.
Secondly, have you ever thought about or investigated using suboxone as a maintanence measure along with a good program? There are several people on this board who are on it, and report really good things. I used it to detox and wish I could have stayed on it. If you are interested, we could help you find a doctor in your area, answer any questions, etc.
Whatever you do, please don't give up. let us know what you are thinking/doing now, ok?
Im in trouble again... 
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