Blue, the reason people can take 6 or 10 times the amount you’re taking is called tolerance. Over time you constantly chase this high and you take great amounts of meds as your body becomes tolerant to the meds. So you get into this no win vicious cycle. You are fast closing in on this same cycle and like most of us you will not realize it when you cross this line but once you cross it, it becomes so very difficult to get off the drugs once you're at this point. I was very much like you before I crossed the line, taking 10 or 15 mgs a day on the weekend for the high. That changed practically without me knowing it.
What scares me Blue is you seem to be a very intelligent and rational person who has read the stories here and understands much of the nastiness that is associated with drug abuse. You seem to know what is the right thing to do, but I don’t see where you are making that conscious decision to stop taking the pills and live life naturally and drug free. I fear, and I have said this to others, 6 months from now. Or maybe sooner, you will be back here asking for our help and you will have that 20-30 per day consumption. Getting off that horse is very unpleasant. You can taper, go cold turkey or take Subonoxe or methadone to help get off the drugs, but you really do not want to take that on when you taking that much medication.
OK, I’m off my soap box but geez please make a positive decision soon, for you, and your children or child.
phil
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