need to vent!! - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Marg001 · 10-27-2003, 12:09 PM

Hi, I'm new to this board. I think it's great that there is something like this out here for us(especially people like me that don't really like to share this type of problem). I am a 42 yr. old woman and my health isn't so great. I was diagnosed with Scoliosis when I was 16 and had a Harrington Rod and fusion operation done, at which now I am paying for. I was also recently diagnosed with spondylolisthesis at a Grade 1 and also had surgery for Ulcerative colitis when I was 32. I was living with my ex since I was 20 yr. old, needless to say it was a very abusive relationship, physically and mentally. I finally came to my senses, and left him 2 yrs. ago. I have found the love of my life. My problem is I still have an addiction problem.
I would have to say I guess it doesn't matter what it is, whether it's alcohol or Tylenol 3, it seems I can't get enough of them. The alcoholism isn't to bad right now, but then again I don't know if there is a such thing, but when I do drink I do really STUPID things!!!, but now that I have the back pain I don't know what to do. Some days I don't have to much pain but I still take it.I am also on oxzampan for sleep, another problem!! I am so afraid I am going to lose the one I love if I don't do something soon, but what??? I am wondering if anybody out there is like me, where most times they don't think about the alcohol, and then all of a sudden one day you decide you want to have a drink. Well that's what happens to me. At least I know what my triggers are now. I would appreciate it if anybody has an opinion on what I should or shouldn't be doing.
(All Mixed Up)

rudder · 10-27-2003, 12:23 PM

Sounds to me that this is what they call "Binge Driking" from a clinical standpoint. It's that "all or nothing" behavior.

I am a "regualar" alcoholic ( that sounds funny, Lol)

I might suggest that you do a search on binge drinking & see if they have any online tests that you can take or advise they can offer. Can you meet with a medical professional or an addictionoligist to get an evaluation?

It's great that you realize the problem, now please take the next step and help yourself by addressing it.

Sorry that I don't have more than that, but I think that you will find this board very helpful & supportive.

Good Luck,
Rudder

coachgal · 10-27-2003, 12:25 PM

Dear Marg,
You have obviously recognized that these problems could ruin your now wonderful relationship and that is good. Recovery from ANYTHING is a process of first recognizing there is a problem. Congrats on that part. I, too, am a recovering addict from hydrocodone..as of 3 weeks ago, I was taking 40 or so pills per day. It started when I was involved with a very emotionally abusive relationship and after a surgery I had for a tubal ligation(after the birth of my 2nd daughter in 2000), I developed very serious com plications and had to be back in hospital for over a week. Came home with pain killers for the pain and then one day realized , hey these make me feel better. I can cope with all this B.S. Some days I would not take any and then some days a took a bunch and then I ended up taking 40 a day for the last few years..this board will help you decide what you need to do for you. Very caring people here..all we can do is share our stories and give you feedback but only you can decide what YOU need to do. I have found that the more people you can reach out to for help the better your chances are for succeeding. Is there a best friend? Parents? Your boyfriend? Maybe try going to AA/NA meeting to check it out...? Good Luck and my thoughts are with you.
coachgal

Marg001 · 10-27-2003, 12:31 PM

Thanks Rudder and Coachgal for the reply so quickly! That's exactly what I am, a true blue binge drinker. I can get professional help, but I am afraid if I do that, then what am I going to do about my back pain. Unfortunately I don't think surgery will be an option for me, as I have had so many, and I actually don't think they could do it.I guess the only way to get down to the bottom of this problem is to talk to my back doctor and see what his opinion on surgery would be, other than that I will be on pain killers for the rest of my life!Which would surely kill me in the long run anyways.
Thanxs for listening and the reply!!

[This message has been edited by Marg001 (edited 10-27-2003).]