Rudder - Thanks on behalf of all the lurkers/vets/etc. - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

meSoftly · 10-29-2003, 12:04 PM

The following is part of a response I posted to another person. For some reason that post pulled at my heart strings. I wanted to start a new topic for two reasons.
1. To thank Rudder for his recent post about wanting newbie/vets/lurkers to post.
2. To find out why some regulars zoom right past newbie posts. Please read the following:

Why is it that when a newbie posts, they get little response? When a regular poster doesnt post for a day or so, the other regulars send out the dogs with posts like, "where is ****? Or this message is for ****.
Rudder started a nice thread today. I imagine it will be taken over by the regulars however.
Rudder,
you have been deemed the welcoming committee and you are doing a great job!! Thanks for taking time out of your day for the sick and suffering inside and outside of the room(s).
Ok,
So what can you all add?
Thanks !

Philster2003 · 10-29-2003, 01:25 PM

KMS;

I guess I would be considered a regular here and I thought I'd share my thought process on why I choose to respond to the posts I respond to.

- First thought, I try and respond to as many as I can whether they would be considered a newbie or a regular.

- Second thought, I also only respond to a post if I think I can bring value to that post.

- Third thought, I don't have a lot of time to respond, so I probably prioritize which posts I respond to (bang for the buck methodology) As it is my wife says I spend way to much time here LOL

This would be a good point for me to say that I would agree to disagree with your thoughts, but that’s OK as we are all different and that’s what makes the world so interesting. It has been nice to read the posts from all of the new folks in Rudders thread (I hate using lurkers terminology) and I never thought to or considered posting to that thread.

The other thing you will notice over time if you continue to visit this forum is there are so many who come in, post, take part, and then fade into the sunset. There are some folks that just keep coming back for more LOL which is great and it's especially nice when those who do stay around after they get free from the addiction stick around and share there thoughts and experiences of life without the burden of an addiction. Kind of giving back after all of the help received during their darkest hours. We really do need more folks sticking around but it’s completely normal to fade away. Once you’re free sometimes you just don’t want to be reminded of the past anymore then possible. I guess because I have been here since Feb of this year that I would be considered a regular. That’s OK, as over time I’ve gotten to know so many wonderful, strong, great people here, people that were newbie’s when they first came on. People that bared there hearts, souls and inner most secrets with us in an effort to beat an evil addiction or help a person in need. These same folks slowly disappear for some reason or another and that’s OK, but many times those of us still here, still listening, still helping want to call out to those we’ve gotten to know and just get an update as to how things are going.

That kind of explains my thoughts and process, others may have a different thought or process but that’s OK as this forum seems to work well for what it seems intended to do.

KMS, thanks for your thoughts and concerns, you are part of the big family here, your trapped! LOL

phil

Hopefortoday · 10-29-2003, 01:37 PM

Well said as usual Philster!

KMS . . . I only respond to threads that I think I can contribute to and even some of the ones I do respond to I don't really add much.

I also limit my time on this board since I have two kids, another on the way and a husband who all need me more than this board does.

Sorry you feel the way you do . . . I see you have 18 posts since June, maybe post more so others can get to know you and help you, if that's what you want.

[This message has been edited by Hopefortoday (edited 10-29-2003).]

John 808 · 10-29-2003, 02:45 PM

KMS,
You joined a long time ago or long before I did and I noticed you haven't posted very much. I am sorry you feel that way, too, but maybe if you took time yourself to get more involved on the board you would not feel this way. I almost always post to a "newbie" because I know how it feels to be one, but it may not be THAT day because I have three children five and under and don't have alot of free time. I do MAKE time at the end of the day, because I care about all these people. Again, maybe before you "judge" us for not posting to newbies, you yourself should become more active. I'd love to hear your story and possibly become friends (via the internet ofcourse!) Just food for thought,

J3:16

rudder · 10-29-2003, 05:05 PM

KMS-

Thanks for your post.

I hope everyone knows I was not looking to create some kind of insider--outsider thing with my post.

Thought that I had said in the beginning, I was just wanting to know if more people are benefiting from what is written here. I just wanted those who are sitting on the side-lines (like I did for a long time)
to say hello & let us know that they are out there, and make sure that they knew they were welcome to post. It's really just that simple.

I'm sorry if it was taken for anything other than that.

As Rodney King said "can't we all just get along"

To those that post regularly, thank you for the help that you have given me & please let me know if I can help you.

To those who haven't posted much or at all, please help me & please let me know if I can help you.

I wish everyone the best,
Rudder