I flew off the wagon...Need your advice - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

muffdiven · 10-27-2003, 11:37 AM

Friday night I really feel off the wagon. Went out and drank and the next thing you know, I bought $50 of cocaine. Now I feel miserable. My head feels funny and I feel frail and weak. And I have the blues. I am 27 205 in good shape, workout all the time, have a good job. But some reason once every 2 to 3 months I ended screwing up.

Is there anyting I can do to make me feel better. Or do I have to wait unitl this crap is out of my system.

staceyy · 10-27-2003, 11:49 AM

Muffdriven
know your pain 30 60 90 days are slippery periods 6 month all your anniversaries you feel you've accoplished this and you feel you need to reward your self. It took me almost 30 years of useing befor I got it. One thing it dosen't matter what material objects you have it's not going to keep you clean and your lucky it was only 50 bucks it could have been worse don't beat your self up you relasped people do it just get back on that horse and hold for your life because that is what it is about your life find a way to love you. I check here every day but the weekends if you need to talk I am here and I am good to my word

Bright Blessings
Stacey

muffdiven · 10-27-2003, 12:29 PM

You are Awesome Stacyy!!

What about the blues? What can I do to cure them. My head feels weird, think I am making my self paranoid that I may have a annerysum. Or is this just the side effects of the guilt I am feeling?

coachgal · 10-27-2003, 12:35 PM

Muff,
I remember in college when i would binge on nights with cocaine. I always went through severe depression for a few days afterwards and felt guilty as well as physically not well. I would give yourself a few more days and if your headache is not feeling better, go get an MRI stat! My bestfriend had severe headaches for a week after her third baby and knew there was something wrong but her docs would not listen..she ended up having a really bad stroke and is now in a long term care facility with a feeding tube. Don't want to scare you, just if you feel that something is not right, go get it checked out. You know your body better than anyone else.
coachgal

muffdiven · 10-27-2003, 12:42 PM

I was doing some reading about cocaine abuse. I am learning that you usually will have a stroke while you are doing it. But if you live through the night you are good. Is that true? I may sound naive, I am so sick of doing this to myself.