Son - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

sadmom · 10-29-2003, 09:42 AM

PLEASE Close this thread

My 25 year old son is in very bad shape alone, in an apartment. He has been an addict for a very long time, with periods of several months at a time when he was clean. Another clean phase just ended with the breakup of his marriage. His wife took his stepdaughter and our only grandchild, a 14 month old baby boy. He has given up on life and has been on a binge for several days. He used to hide these binges, relapses, from us. Now he calls us. We have absolutely no control over what he does, but it's killing him and us too. We've been through so much, but now we wait. My husband, daughter, and I are all sick and feel like we are waiting on his death, whatever that may be: no brain cells left, incarceration, overdose, murder from a pusher or "client". Help us, if you can. Thanks.

[This message has been edited by sadmom (edited 10-29-2003).]

rudder · 10-29-2003, 10:25 AM

Sadmom-

That's rough. I'm very sorry for him & your family.

I know they say that you can't help someone that does not want help, and I do believe that. I do think though that it sounds like your situation is different. It sounds to me like his life could be in immediate danger, and that changes all the rules if that is in fact the case.

If I am right in this assumption, then you need to get him some immediate medical care. Maybe a detox center with a strong psychiatric component, or just some kind of crisis center. If you think that he could harm someone, or himself, please do this now. Don't ask for his promission, just find away to get him there. If you can't, call one of these places like the crisis center and they will send someone out to talk to him.

You said that he is calling you and that is clearly a sign that he wants to talk & is looking for help, so please make sure that he gets the help that he is reaching out for. Don't delay.

I hope that I'm wrong and it's not as serious as you made it sound, but if I'm not, please act now.

Where are you? Can I help you locate a center?

Rudder

[This message has been edited by rudder (edited 10-29-2003).]

sadmom · 10-29-2003, 11:05 AM

Arnold, Missouri.

sadmom · 10-29-2003, 11:21 AM

It is what he calls crank.

CraigB · 10-29-2003, 11:23 AM

Sadmom,

I am extremely sorry for any family that has to go through this torment. When I was younger I had a smiliar problem and caused alot of grief for my family. I eventually stopped cold turkey and got my life turned around.

I do agree with rudder that if your son is calling you he is reaching out and that is your sign to act. Now is the time he needs you more than ever. I'm sure many things are running through his mind as it did mine and once you make that step in calling someone then there may be a chance he wants to give up on the drugs. My suggestion would be to talk to him about rehab and if that fails and you feel his life is in jeopardy, then in many states you can have him committed into a home or drug rehab to save him so check your local laws. One thing is he has to want to quit, thats the strings that are attached to this type situation.
Talk to him and make him think hard about his situation. The wife, child, the family and explain how he is hurting everyone and you want him to come back to you. I wish I could go on and there are alot of things you need to talk with him about but I would run out of room before I could type them all. Just do what your heart leads you to do.

Good Luck and I hope everything works out for you

CraigB