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Old 12-20-2003, 12:08 PM   #1
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Murphy555 HB User
Abusing suboxone?

Hi,
Has anyone ever tried to abuse their subxone?
Just that I had a very bad night last night.
I normally take 8-10mg suboxone/day.
Just last night I took 12mg at night, along with 3 klonopin (instead of my normal one/night).
I felt like I was trying to escape.
don't feel a high but definitely knocked myself out.

I feel as if they were vicodin, the better I'd feel. Of course it doesn't work that way. So yesterday, instead of taking 8mg/day, I took about 18mg.
Has anybody every done that or thought this way?

Thanks
Murphy

 
Old 12-20-2003, 03:01 PM   #2
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Bodymechanic HB User
Re: Abusing suboxone?

I did that in the beginning when I was still chasing the high. I regret doing it now because it made me build a higher tolerance to the drug. I am having a lot of trouble getting off now. But if you have to get a high, I suppose it's best that you do it with the suboxone. Be careful mixing the benzos with the suboxone. You could find yourself in serious trouble.

Last edited by Bodymechanic; 12-20-2003 at 03:02 PM.

 
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Old 12-20-2003, 04:16 PM   #3
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Re: Abusing suboxone?

Murphy - The only reason I haven't is my fear of mixing the Sub and Xanax... Also, I feel weird when I take too much. I believe that you are right about escaping reality... I know I want to sometimes too. I believe you said you were on Lexepro? I think you should talk to your doc about uping the dosage or changing. Sounds like reality is too much for you sometimes, as it is for all of us but we have to find different ways to deal with it. I've been up and down as far as my moods since I stopped the Hydros... I knew something was wrong since we haven't heard from you in a while. I would talk to your doctor about your need to 'get away' from things for a while. Sounds like the depression isn't letting up on you. Please take care and don't go so long without letting me know how you are.

 
Old 12-20-2003, 07:55 PM   #4
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John 808 HB User
Re: Abusing suboxone?

Hey Murph,

So glad to hear from you! I have felt that way before, I have never actually taken more sub than I am supposed to, but will sometimes "create" problems for myself just to take something (i.e., I "think" my back hurts...I need a Soma, I think my head hurts...I need an Ultram, I think I am feeling anxious...I need a Xanax,etc). I guess that is just the addict in us! When the going gets rough, it is like, "what can I take?" I am so used to turning to that pill bottle to escape or to relieve the stress and give me energy. Ya know?

I am sorry you are having somewhat of a hard time...I am not doing too good either. I don't understand how in the world I let myself get in this situation. I am an educated woman who never really touched drugs in high school or college and I don't even drink for that matter, so how could I have been so stupid to let this happen?

I hope you can get "leveled" out on the sub and my prayers are certainly with you. Hang in there and God bless you, Murphy!
Michelle

 
Old 12-21-2003, 07:30 AM   #5
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Re: Abusing suboxone?

Murphy, how are you feeling today? I hope well. I am going to my boyfriend's house with my THREE kids who they have never met. It's going to be stressful and boy would I love to have some hydros today!! But, I guess I will be fine. I went to a Christmas party last night (yes, another one) and everyone was drinking and smoking pot and I was really, really o.k. (I didn't smoke pot or drink or anything) It wasn't really a big deal and I still had a very good time. And, I'm not very good around people I don't know and it was my boyfriend's friends and I don't really know them well yet. I actually was fine, very talkative and even felt a little confident. Because I'm doing somewhat well on the Sub (most of the time) ... I'm sorta scared to stop taking it. I know ya'll think I'm crazy but I just keep going back and forth with what I want to do. The other day at work, my manager (who is also a longtime friend but knows NOTHING about my problem) anyway, she actually said out of the blue "It's so good to see you happy again". Just out of the blue... Obviously, the combination of all of my medicine is helping tremendously and I can feel again. Murph... let me know if you are taking Lexepro or something else and how much. Also, I've been on Klonopin before (twice) and the first time it worked really well for me but the second time, it actually added to my depression. I've read in the insert that that can happen sometimes. Maybe you should talk to your doctor about switching to Ativan or Xanax?
Michelle - I've been thinking about you too! I hope your days get better and better. You really need to go back and see that Sub doctor. I'm worried about you because the Sub is what helped me so much in enjoying being 'sober' and I'm worried about you stopping right now. I would just be honest with him, tell him that your cravings and not better and that you need to up the Sub. I can only speak from my experience and i know the withdrawals from Sub are bad but I swear at least you are living a somewhat normal life and spending a heck of a lot less $$ and can feel and have normal relationships. One more thing... you asked how you could allow this addiction to happen? Think about me... I watched my mother die from hydro overdose (the tylenol did it) Yet I still allowed myself to take them recreationally from time to time and then it was all down hill from there. Why would I even play around with them after what happened to my mother? Hydros are just so dang addicting... Also, I do believe that there are people who are more prone to addiction because of genetics.... Anyway, please let me know how you both are doing and everyone else as well. I DO think about all of you and pray for you too!

 
Old 12-21-2003, 05:35 PM   #6
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Murphy555 HB User
Re: Abusing suboxone?

Oh, guys,
I don't know what happened but I just wrote a novel, sort of in responding to all yours posts and my computer crashed and I lost all my response. Now I'm too tired to type it all over again!

So I'll try again later. Sorry.

For the most part I'm OK, just was zoned out all day today, I think I mixed too much sub and benzos, and I have been out of it all day.

Yes I'm depressed, but I take prozac and recently upped it.

Michelle, thanks for your prayers, we're alot alike.

And I'll resond more to each of you maybe tomorrow (my hands hurt now!).

Murphy

 
Old 12-21-2003, 07:27 PM   #7
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Re: Abusing suboxone?

murph where ya been,that is somethin i never did i never abused the suboxone as i knew that you could not get high off it so i never did it.how is it workin for you nowadays.seems like everyone here is havin a bad experience with the sub when it comes time to get off it-spark

 
Old 12-21-2003, 08:03 PM   #8
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Re: Abusing suboxone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by spark-o-cet
murph where ya been,that is somethin i never did i never abused the suboxone as i knew that you could not get high off it so i never did it.how is it workin for you nowadays.seems like everyone here is havin a bad experience with the sub when it comes time to get off it-spark
Start with Spark, and work my backwards? if that OK? How you doing? It's good to see you too. To be honest, I think I was trying to abuse both the sub and the klonopin at the same time. I learned also that sub doesn't work - get you high; but I realized from day 1 that every time I took a klonopin with my sub, I got twice as sedated and often I'd fall asleep, rather drift asleep, and I just know inside that it's not healthy to be doing what I'm doing. Toddays another day tho, and i've just had 1 2mg sub, tonight I hope to have my usual 1 klonopin and 4-6mg sub.

As for getting off, I think you were the ringleader in describing your frustratations in wanting to get off but having problems. So where are you? and how are you dealing with what's going on.

Good to see you.
Murphy

 
Old 12-21-2003, 08:57 PM   #9
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Re: Abusing suboxone?

got enough sub to last maybe until tuesday and then no more.if it gets to bad ill use hydros if it gets bad enough just have to wait and see.bad time of year to be goin thru this crap and makes it even harder.ive been down to 0.5mgper day for at least two months and still get the w/ds if i dont take it every day at the same time just like a freakin robot.unless the drs have takin the sub themselves then they are in the dark about how it works just like we are/were.granted it did stop the usin of all the pills but to me if it is just as hard to quit usin then it is no better.only difference is the dr is our drug dealer makin there cut out of it.if you can afford it and take it for life then it is the perfect pill but after you have been on it as long as i have you will get tired of takin it and finally get to where you hate it-spark

 
Old 12-22-2003, 06:15 PM   #10
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Murphy555 HB User
Re: Abusing suboxone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by spark-o-cet
got enough sub to last maybe until tuesday and then no more.if it gets to bad ill use hydros if it gets bad enough just have to wait and see.bad time of year to be goin thru this crap and makes it even harder.ive been down to 0.5mgper day for at least two months and still get the w/ds if i dont take it every day at the same time just like a freakin robot.unless the drs have takin the sub themselves then they are in the dark about how it works just like we are/were.granted it did stop the usin of all the pills but to me if it is just as hard to quit usin then it is no better.only difference is the dr is our drug dealer makin there cut out of it.if you can afford it and take it for life then it is the perfect pill but after you have been on it as long as i have you will get tired of takin it and finally get to where you hate it-spark
Well spark - tomorrow is Tuesday, and i'm concerned about how you are going to be feeling. It is amazing to me that you were only down to 0.5mg day and if you didn't, you would get withdrawals? I know it feels physical, but wodnering how much was this psycholocal. Only you know how you fee. I can hear how frustrated you are with sub - and it's very true that we, are pretty much the guinea pigs with this drug - good & bad. Just try and keep thinkin that it won't destroy your life because you decided to try suboxone; so you're having difficulty getting off; it's difficult getting off any opiates, including this one. One day you'll be where you want to be, and if you simply can't perhaps you'll need to compromise and take 1mg/day - not a bad tradeoff for something you hate!
Murphy

 
Old 12-22-2003, 07:32 PM   #11
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Re: Abusing suboxone?

Spark - please keep us posted as to how you are feeling. Even if you don't feel like typing, maybe your girlfriend can sign on for a minute to let us know you are hanging in there? I will be thinking about you!

Murphy and Michelle - how's it going? Are ya'll hanging in there too? I had a fairly good day today. I find myself getting really irritated easily and I get in bad moods sometimes but overall I'm still doing pretty good. Oh, wanted to mention that I had the 'aches' that everyone has described today. They were pretty bad in my legs but went away after some Advil. I left a message for my Sub doc to call me back so I can ask him if this part is normal. I have this fear that he's going to tell me that I have to start tapering. I don't know why (well, yes I do... 'cause he's lied to me before). I'm just scared to death even though a part of me wants to quit before I get too hooked. Double edge sword...

 
Old 12-22-2003, 10:10 PM   #12
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Murphy555 HB User
Re: Abusing suboxone?

Hi Banker. just hanging in there, like you said. You know these aches and pains are crazy. one day, I woke up with none, and so I thought things were getting better; and then today, they were back. just getting up out of bed "hurts' bad. As for getting irritated, oh me too, but then i got irritated on vicodin too so maybe it's just my personality; or it's just dealing with phone companies, grrr. If I tell myDr. about a symptom, they call the manufacturer and report it, and to see if it's common. Like the headaches were very bad at first. Thank goodness they went away completely. But the aches and pains persist. It could also be from sleeping like a log, and not moving, that I wake up that stiff. Thought about that today. OK, Now I'm on it a month now. It's also time to break ties with the psychologist who said after a month, I could stop going weekly -- yet we seem to be making an appointment every week! She'll probably sugest continuing because I'm not stable yet! This bothers me. Ah, everything bothers me. But Spark, i still have time to wonder and care about you.

murphy

 
Old 12-23-2003, 06:37 AM   #13
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Bodymechanic HB User
Re: Abusing suboxone?

Spark,

Before you go back to the hydros, think long and hard about it. I few of us have tried this and it has not worked. When I tried, I was using 6mg of suboxone. I waited 36 hours to take my first oxycontin. The first 2 days went fine. After that, I was taking more and more oxycontin. By the 7th day I was using more oxycontin's than I ever had in my life and I still felt sick.

I know you hate being dependant on suboxone, so do I. The only thing that I think might work is a slow, very slow taper. I mean over a 2 year period. Consider going back up to .5 mg until you body adjusts. You can slowly work down from there. Addiction is a lifetime disease, we need to keep that in mind when we treat ourselves.

 
Old 12-23-2003, 08:12 AM   #14
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Re: Abusing suboxone?

Bodymechanic, you have such a way with words. You are very intelligent and I appreciate your posts.

Anyway - to everyone: Spoke to my doc today and when I told him I was taking 8 mgs per day, he said I wasn't taking enough. What's up with that? I told him that when I tried to go higher than 8, my eyes got blurry and I started having panick attacks and he told me to try again to go up to around 12 or 14. He said after a month or two, I would 'naturally' go back down. But he said during the first few months, I needed a higher dosage because of the 'receptors' needing the medicine. I spoke to him about everyone having trouble getting off of Suboxone and he said that it was 'unusual' for people to have withdrawals from it and that if you taper slowly, I wouldn't have any problems other than a 'stuffy nose'. Again, I'm just not sure but I have to take it because it keeps me off of the other drugs. He promised me he would not force me to get off of it. He said that it would take me telling him that I was ready. He said he wouldn't even think about me coming off of it for two whole years. He said it would take that long for me to get out of the habit of abusing pills and for my receptors to heal. What do you guys think about all of this? One more thing, and I hate to discuss it but I have horrible problems going to the bathroom, if you know what I mean. I've been taking a stool softener that he prescribed me but it's still not working. I think that is what is making my legs hurt so badly because it happened when I was abusing lortabs so badly. I hate to discuss this but it's becoming a really big problem. Any advice? And let me know what you think about what the doctor said. Thanks to everyone and Spark, I'm praying for you.

 
Old 12-23-2003, 10:00 AM   #15
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Re: Abusing suboxone?

Banker, your mother died from hydro? I'm sorry about that, how terrible. Was it an overdose or something? This is important info to share if you feel like it. Perhaps you already have, I'm new here so obviously, I didn't see the post. If suboxone does not produce a "high" how is it the people abuse it?

 
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