I haven't drank any alcohol in over a year, but now I'm having these urges to go out and really tear it up.Part of it has to do with the fact that I all of a sudden have a lot more energy than I'm use to, and part of it's because I've so totally closed myself off from people other than my family for over a year, It feels like I'm starting to grow a wild hair up my a**.I really do want to get back out there and reconnect with some of the people I've lost contact with(not using friends)but I'm afraid if I drink it'll kick off that wild streak that always justbrews beneath the surface of my personality. I guess I'll have to wage this battle with this side of me,too,now.I just feel so isolated and lost right now.Plus I really shouldn't drink with the paxil I'm on, I know it's not a good mix.Somehow though, sitting home washing my floor and hanging blinds is not strong enough to keep my mind from wondering....about all the other things I COULD be doing... can be good,or I can be bad...goodbadgoodbad good=boring,bad=fun.HMMmmmm.I'm surprised at the fact that I'm really not missing the pills yet, but I'm waiting patiently for those cravings to hit.I'm rambling, but this is a current dilemma I've come across,should I stay in,should I go out.Maybe a teporary moment of weakness?Just an urge to go celebrate this newfound energy I'm regaining?Anyone ever experience this?HEELLPP.
OOOOHHHHH, I should of known you were thre somewhere waiting to pounce lol!!!! UM,I did walk today!! First I took my dog out to the woods and ran him, fresh air/not too cold-it was nice. THEN, I went home grabbed my daughter and grandson and walked around in circles at the mall, after that, I thought I was going to collapse, but I DID IT!!Plus, you HAVE to count the amount of times I walked to the car and from it,RIIGGHHTT??lol! I went to the doctor this morning and she upped my paxil dose,gave me something for my burning belly and sent me on my way. On the subject of way(okay,weigh) I lost 8lbs since last week!!! Don't worry, that's a good thing.I've gotta get back some of that "junk in my trunk" that I've sort of,okay,n, that I've REALLY flattened in the past year.I don't think we'll EVER get my A** imprint off my poor couch-will use it as a reminder perhaps??? Maybe I should pour some paster of paris in the depression and hang it on the wall when it dries...Just to scare myself back into reality when needed.How are you doing, M?Glad we're on the boards at the same time!
Hi Hope, just a couple of suggestions here to channel your new found energy in a more positive direction.When my brother in law was at about the two year point in his sobriety, he really started to have the urge to go out and party,party,party,and was afraid that he might give into this evil side of his brain,so he went "back to his roots"so to speak.His road to sobriety started out in detox after a DWI.He started to think about that and decided that maybe being a volunteer back there would help snap himself out of it,and he was right.They usually need people there when the evening befores drunk drivers awaken the next morning to talk with them and help them maybe see a better way for them to live their lives.I know that this was all set up through AA.Just a thought,especially if you are feeling a little weak.It really helped snap himself back to reality.He still pops in there from time to time.Another possibility is just volunteering at your local hospital or something like that.I don't know how your daily newspaper is set up but in our classified ads, right before the job listings, they usually have a column or two of places that need volunteers to help run certain programs,like meals on wheels .These programs really need volunteers to keep them going and you are also doing something very positive for your community.You have the energy and they really have the need.Helping someone else can really give you the ultimate in warm fuzzies.Then there is also the usual continuing education classes that can fill up a few nights a week.Is there something that you have always wanted to learn how to do?I hope these suggestions help you some.And a big congrats on making it this far.( And Meredeth?I am another who is truely in awe of what you accomplished.Even though you may have done in this in a hospital setting, which really sounded like it was a trip invented in hell,when you were finally set free,there was nothing to stop you from going back to things as they were except your will power.I admire your courage. ) Well, I hope you find a worthwhile place to put all of your new found energy Hope.Take care, Marcia
Day 14-thats damn good girl..but i guess you can look at it a couple of differant ways..
Will the alcohol kick off..another relapse?
Did you have a problem w/ drinking before the pills?
I know that intense energy you speak of..its like frantic..you gotta find a place for it to go..
Do you have straight(ish)-pals to go out with?
Are you into AA/Na..at all..i used to go to meeting in my early stages of getting off dope to do something.
How about any hobbies you put down when you were using..i just started an excersise program.I was working out the other nite w/ my husband..and i kept flashing back to us doing drugs..from drugs to aerobics.hahahar!
I smoke occassionally to take the edge off..but im also on suboxone/that pretty much nullifys the cravings so i can think clearer.
Im not against you going out and having a good time..most people when they come off the opiates-go out and have a few drinks/see music..whatever.
Just think it thru-if you think it might ultimately hurt you-don't..and if ya do..take a cab!!
Good going Hope-you are doing awesome!
Heather
Day14 clean,now I'm having urges to drink... 
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