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Old 04-24-2004, 10:31 AM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: santa cruz ca
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staceyy HB User
I am still here!

Meriedith, Heather. Twin, and everyone eles, just to let you know I am fine. I am off that damned xanax, and back on klonipin, and I am sleeping. 15 full hours on thursday can't complain about that. I went thro some stuff I started cutting agian nothing serious just a fluke. I miss you guys. just have'n felt like talking to much you know you get in to that funk. I have never had to detox off a dammed pill befor and this threw me for a loop I felt like I was crawling out of my skin no body achs but I couldn't settle down. I never want to go threw that again. any ways I am better now. hope every one is good.
Goddess Bless
Stacey

 
Old 04-24-2004, 10:43 AM   #2
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over HB User
Re: I am still here!

Hi Staceyy,

Been reading all of your postings and just wanted to say hi. You really are encouraging here. Keep up the good work. You've done well getting off the xanax. isn't it awful?? Why do we do this to ourselves?? I was a big hydro user. I didn't abuse xanax at all. Never really used it but to sleep. I have used it in the last week a couple of times for sleep because I'm withdrawing off Sub. I was desperate for sleep.

Anyway, good luck and take care.

Over

 
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Old 04-24-2004, 03:14 PM   #3
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Best Friend HB User
Re: I am still here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by staceyy
Meriedith, Heather. Twin, and everyone eles, just to let you know I am fine. I am off that damned xanax, and back on klonipin, and I am sleeping. 15 full hours on thursday can't complain about that. I went thro some stuff I started cutting agian nothing serious just a fluke. I miss you guys. just have'n felt like talking to much you know you get in to that funk. I have never had to detox off a dammed pill befor and this threw me for a loop I felt like I was crawling out of my skin no body achs but I couldn't settle down. I never want to go threw that again. any ways I am better now. hope every one is good.
Goddess Bless
Stacey
Hiya StaceyAngel, great to hear from you. I know exactly what you mean about that 'crawling out of your skin" That is exactly what I feel in withdrawal. Can't work, can't read, just plain can't concentrate. It's about the worst part of the whole process for me. I have clonazepam, but use VERY little of it as I don't want to "squander" its therapeutic effect. I am SO happy to hear you are on the mend! Thanks for letting us know. We worry! (We are ALL Jewish mothers, here! )
Alice

 
Old 04-24-2004, 03:45 PM   #4
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Twinlynn HB User
Re: I am still here!

Stacy - It's good to have you back. :-) Yes, there are times when reading and writing to this board can accentuate a sense of guilt and despair about our own struggles. And that's when you just have to go "within" and do your best until it passes. I can't remember if I've asked you this in the past re. the cutting--but there was a fellow, years ago, in my OCD support group, who, like you, turned to cutting once in a while when he was trying to cope with things he had no control over. He, like many of us, took Prozac, which is specifically targeted to help eliminate OCD--which this fellow was diagnosed with. Whereas in my own OCD, I would become hopelessly, obsessively lost in some ridiculous, endless permutated thought to deal with stress....this guy would "cut." But he was recovering well...and many of us in the group felt that Prozac had helped save our lives. Now, you may not have OCD...and probably just hate hearing about one more pill...but I thought about your post and felt I had to at least tell you about a person who was able to stop his cutting after taking Prozac.

In any case, I am so glad that you're off the xanax and over the withdrawal. I've never taken xanax, but do take a quarter or half a Klonipin if I've had unusual stress that's keeping me up--and giving me nightmares! I don't just pop a pill every time I'm nervous (or they'd be pouring down my throat like an waterfall! LOL!!)--but when my mind is racing with anxiety, even just the tiniest bit seems to help immensely...and I've never needed to "up" the dose.

I'm so glad you're feeling better--and that you're back! :-) Lynn

 
Old 04-24-2004, 04:58 PM   #5
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staceyy HB User
Re: I am still here!

Lynn, I think that we have talked about the ocd thing. my diagnoses is borderline personalityy w/ ptsd I have been cutting for as loong as I can remember but I thought I had a handle on it for about 3 years guess not I have been on prozac it made me manic thats why I take celexa me cutting has nothing to do with my meds It was juust something I had to do people who don't cut have a hard time understanding but it's good now just a trip now I am back on the road feel like I am starting from the begining with a new clean date oh wellat least I am still kickin. I love you guys thanks for the support
Goddess Bless
Stacey

Last edited by staceyy; 04-24-2004 at 05:00 PM.

 
Old 04-25-2004, 05:43 AM   #6
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sadsister HB User
Re: I am still here!

Hi stacey-
So Great to here from you-i was gonna post a thread to you-cos its been too long-altho i knew you were ok.I guess you had an "episode"-which i understand very well-my sister has the same issue-its occassional now-its a relief thing..ive seen and dealt w/ it first hand.
Anyway-im glad your coming out of it..and feeling better-YAY!Really happy to hear from you-Goddess loves you so much..she will always be there for you.
I love you too-my cyberfriend...
heather

 
Old 04-25-2004, 09:57 AM   #7
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staceyy HB User
Re: I am still here!

Heather, I have so missed talking to you how are you and your sister? yae every thing is back to normal tell the next break down but it took 8 month for this one. so may be it will be a little longer for the next one. I am glad you and every one eles is here thanks for the support as always my heart to every one
Goddess Bless
Stacey

Last edited by staceyy; 04-25-2004 at 09:58 AM.

 
Old 04-26-2004, 05:06 AM   #8
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sadsister HB User
Re: I am still here!

Stacey-
Thanx for thinking of me-and my sis..shes my dear one-we've been thru so much together-the heroin/our family/etc..shes got 5 yrs. clean from heroin-but has been occassionally taking hydro/etc..like once a week or so-i was worried for a while when she relapsed for a couple weeks but she stopped for a couple months and really hasn't done anything lately.Its tough-w/ her bi-polar etc..she really has done well w/ NA.
Im glad to hear you are doing better-8 months is a long time..that could be the last time..lets hope it is.
My recent diagnosis-is borderline/ptsd...so i know that "dropping out' when your depressed..i do it alot.In my own life.Kind of just stay in my own world.
I miss you too.What else is happening?Job?Life?Anything interesting going on?
mmm..im boring..went out to see some bands play the other nite-that was fun.And my cuz..had a baby girl..shes 19 and has some serious depressionn probs but im there for support/and i hope this will help her she seems very positive.
Well got to get going..
Goddess bless you and ((((hugs)))
Heather

 
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