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Old 04-25-2004, 02:15 PM   #1
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no patience HB User
Angry is this normal

i recently went through a very severe methadone w/d and i have a 7 year old daughter and a husband i felt so crappy and just was able to do nothing and my husband has a hobby of working out at the gym i would ask well beg him to stay home just to help me because i just felt so horrible and he would say no and tell me he'd try to be home early and he'd show up like 15 minutes early which is 4 hrs later then when i talk to him it's like he doesnt hear what i'm saying i have to tell him like 4 times before he hears me i dont know maybe it's just me but it just gets so hurtful sometimes any replys would be helpful thank kelleigh

 
Old 04-25-2004, 02:34 PM   #2
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: is this normal

Oh he hears you but he's not listening to you. Ouch, sorry...I know that's gotta hurt, but he's hurting you more.

Well, you can sit him down, have your heart to heart talk with him, ask him if there's something wrong with you that he's avoiding you or your requests of helping you out...... "try" to do this in a manner that you don't scream at him but just talk with him....see what he has to say...If he blows up..let him, listen to him what HE SAYS....be patience if you can...If you don't like what your hearing or you can't come to an agreement....Then you will know if he's being spiteful or selfish or just doesn't care about you.

It will give you an idea where his mind is with your marriage or his feelings about your situation, maybe he doesn't know how to deal with it or doesn't want to? If he doesn't want to have the talk...give it another day and ask again if he still brushes you off...Then just have the talk and hope for the best.

Good luck and hope this helps...

 
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Old 04-25-2004, 02:39 PM   #3
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 867
no patience HB User
Re: is this normal

Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlHarley
Oh he hears you but he's not listening to you. Ouch, sorry...I know that's gotta hurt, but he's hurting you more.

Well, you can sit him down, have your heart to heart talk with him, ask him if there's something wrong with you that he's avoiding you or your requests of helping you out...... "try" to do this in a manner that you don't scream at him but just talk with him....see what he has to say...If he blows up..let him, listen to him what HE SAYS....be patience if you can...If you don't like what your hearing or you can't come to an agreement....Then you will know if he's being spiteful or selfish or just doesn't care about you.

It will give you an idea where his mind is with your marriage or his feelings about your situation, maybe he doesn't know how to deal with it or doesn't want to? If he doesn't want to have the talk...give it another day and ask again if he still brushes you off...Then just have the talk and hope for the best.

Good luck and hope this helps...
thank you i've done the talk thing says he's sorry and the same thing happens again thanks for your input though i guess he has selective hearing lol thanx again kelleigh

Last edited by no patience; 04-25-2004 at 02:40 PM.

 
Old 04-25-2004, 04:05 PM   #4
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promisez HB User
Re: is this normal

Did he know about your methadone treatments? He may have been told or read about NarcAnon and they suggested seperation with love, after all, it is your recovery that you should be focused on. A lot of times severe withdrawels end up as placing so much weight on the partner they need to get away for their own sanity and to avoid saying the wrong thing or avoiding confrontation. This should really be posted on the Addiction and Recovery Board to get the most effective responses because, to be honest, I have this feeling that that is the root of the problem.

 
Old 04-25-2004, 05:04 PM   #5
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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no patience HB User
Re: is this normal

Quote:
Originally Posted by promisez
Did he know about your methadone treatments? He may have been told or read about NarcAnon and they suggested seperation with love, after all, it is your recovery that you should be focused on. A lot of times severe withdrawels end up as placing so much weight on the partner they need to get away for their own sanity and to avoid saying the wrong thing or avoiding confrontation. This should really be posted on the Addiction and Recovery Board to get the most effective responses because, to be honest, I have this feeling that that is the root of the problem.
i was on methadone for chronic back pain and he has been this way for years thanks kelleigh

 
Old 04-25-2004, 06:01 PM   #6
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Salinas1 HB User
Re: is this normal

Quote:
Originally Posted by no patience
i was on methadone for chronic back pain and he has been this way for years thanks kelleigh
If he has exhibited these behaviors for years, how have you dealt with it in the past? Have you asked him about counseling?

 
Old 04-26-2004, 05:52 AM   #7
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no patience HB User
Re: is this normal

Quote:
Originally Posted by Salinas1
If he has exhibited these behaviors for years, how have you dealt with it in the past? Have you asked him about counseling?
suppose to be going soon my councelor wants him to come w/me kelleigh

 
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