I don't know if anyone remembers my story or not, I am addicted to Norco 10/325 and was taking 15-20 a day, have 4 children, a husband, a full-time job, and was pregnant. I am sorry to say that when I went in for my check-up on April 5th my baby did not have a heartbeat anymore and I had to have a D&C on April 8th. I was completely shocked and of course feel extremely guilty in that I am sure my drug use caused this. After my miscarriage I fell deeper into my addiction than ever. It helped with my emotional pain I was going through. I have been seeing a psyciatrist for over a month now that was trying to help me taper off the Norco but I was still getting prescriptions from 2 other doctors. I was so scared of any withdrawal and felt I needed all of those pills to function daily. It didn't help much that my husband started going through is worst days of his depression he just got diagnosed with last week.
I finally have had enough of this cycle I have been putting myself through last weekend. I have felt for a long time that I cannot go to detox at this time in my life or go cold turkey either, I just cannot handle the withdrawals with my children needing me and my husband being sick right now. Everyone depends on me to take care of everything. I am so scared of what I am doing to my health with all of the pills I take as well as being scared of being arrested for all of the prescriptions I obtain from different dr's. I know this is very illegel and do not want to go to jail over this. I am just down right tired of going to the dr all of the time to make sure I have enough pills and I am also tired of worrying about what to do when I start running low and what I am going to do if I run out. I have read alot about methadone on this board and tried a few times to figure out how to find a clinic in my area and I am happy to say that I finally succeeded last weekend. With the help of the internet I found some numbers and they help to get me in contact with a clinic in my area. I went Thursday and they were able to help me and give me my first dose of 20mgs. I have gone up 10mgs a day. I am at 40mgs today and they said I would probably go up to 50mgs tomorrow. It has helped in the way I read it should. I still have to take a few pills a day while they are adjusting my dose but I tell them how many I take. It is so wonderful to not go into my purse every 1/2 to hour to take a pill. It really does work and I am so thankful I found a clinic. I know I have read it is harder to withdrawal from than hydro but I will worry about that if and when the time comes. I mainly just want to let anyone out there know that if you want to get of the pills this is a great option. I feel so good about myself again and feel like I have new lease on life. I don't have to be scared of withdrawal anymore and about where I am going to have to go to get my next prescription. I just have to get 1 dose a day and I am good to go. It is also not expensive so please check into this type of maintenance if you feel like I did. There is more than likely a clinic close to you, just check around. Also, my husband did see the dr last week and they put him on Effexor and it has helped tremondously already. Thanks for listening everyone, I just wanted to share. Sara
It sounds like you are moving in the right direction to take care of yourself. Never forget that people can't rely on you if you're not here so it is important to take care of yourself first even if others rely on you.
I'm learning that the hard way myself right now and it's easy to say but not easy to do.
Thanks so much for the encouragement, it really helps to hear people are supporting me. This board has been a lifesaver for me. If it was not for this board I would have never even thought of methadone. I never knew it could be used for pain pill addiction. I just wish I would have found this out a year ago but at least I know now and can help others hopefully.
Ky-I just read your post,getting ready to sign off-just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about your baby.I remember reading your posts from a while back,and was wondering what happened.Thank God for you getting on the Methadone and off the vicious cycle of doctor shopping-I was an expert on that,could of had my own catalogue.Please know I'm adding you and your husband to my prayers,and try to remember, things happen for a reason.Don't feel guilty.I remember someone(a doctor) telling me that if a baby is meant to be born,hell nor high water won't stop the process.Many babies are born to mothers who are hellish addicts,who have heavily abused drugs thruout their entire pregnancy.I don't see you losing the baby as your fault at all,just as something that wasn't meant to be.You are now on an honest road to recovery.How wonderful is that??Bless you and your family.
Strength and courage,Stacie